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At my favorite restaurants, I get ice tea and water when I sit down, even in the ones that normally don’t set out water unless it’s asked for. What’s more, I get three lemon slices in my tea every time, just as I prefer (I eat the lemon slices).
Oddly, I like the same - even in my diet soda.
This is a long strange road of a thead, isn’t it oh fellow Dopers?:D:eek:
Straw wrappers? Refillable drinks? “Red Lobster”? What is this strange dining language it speaks?
Sorry, Springs1, you pushed the whole thing a bit too far over the top for me not to believe that this entire debacle is the setup for an April Fools’ Day reveal. Looking back over some of the other posts you’ve made, you seem to pretty much cater your responses for maximum “is she for REAL?” effect.
This just isn’t the societal expectation in many cases. I would not expect to ask for bread in a restaurant that serves free bread; I would not expect to have to ask for a refill.
I work as a mystery shopper. Many national chains require that servers refill drinks within a certain amount of time. The de facto method is to do so without asking if it is a free refill. I know of no restaurant that penalizes for not asking first. It is simply not expected. You are perfectly within your rights to ask for a different drink when they get your glass or upon their return, but it is not rude for them to get a free refill for you.
If you are withholding tips on these grounds, you are being ridiculous and cheap. Tips are not a game you get to play to enforce your own personal rules secretly on someone else.
Eep! I’m very sorry if it came across that I think her attitude is normal - nothing could be farther from the truth! Don’t worry, Hakuna Matata; I’m aware her behaviour is aberrant. 
I visited the States for 5 weeks and ate out a lot during that time. I never saw anything like the attitude she’s describing; everyone was very pleasant and very polite. Oh, and may I say that I *loved *the free refills? (Strawberry Lemonade - where have you been all my life? You’re heaven in a glass!)
This thread’s been great for one thing at least: I now have a new description for* the act of throwing a tantrum over minor inconveniences as though it were epic drama *- it’ll be called ‘throwing a Spring’.
Makes you sound like a bad mattress.
“Yep, we had a customer in here last week who threw a Spring. Poor critter - had to take him out back and shoot him.”
I would think “pop a Spring” would roll off the tongue better.
Oh I didn’t take your comment as you agreeing with her at all or that you thought it was normal. No problems!
You go to restaurants that don’t refill coffee, tea, iced tea, and lemonade for free? In the U.S.? Granted, I’ve encountered restaurants that don’t refill soda pop for free (although I don’t know of any “real” restaurants near here that don’t), but I thought they were just about extinct.
I think most places above the level of Denny’s are as picky as possible about their staff. Waiting is a real job here in the U.S., too, and for the most part, only the boors and snobs would disagree.
There are very good front-of-house people in the U.S. as well, and they’re worth their weight in gold. Take bars as an example. Many, many people select their bar not because of the decor, the prices, or the drink selection, but because of the bartender. They’ll actually plan nights around it (“nah, let’s go Thursday because Pat’s on the bar”). When a top-notch bartender switches to a different bar down the street, a huge chunk of the clientele will follow. A good bar owner/manager knows that tips aren’t enough to keep someone like that. Good service staff need to be treated well, trusted, and given good perqs so they stay.
I would agree. My favorite bartender just left my favorite bar–he moved across the country. The new guy is just that, the new guy. He hasn’t found his own style yet, but I will give him some time.
What I enjoyed about the old guy (and I realize Springs would hate this) is that I would come in and he would put a beer in front of me. He wanted to push my beer types I was drinking, I really enjoy ambers and he wanted to get me to the point where I enjoyed hoppier beers. I do enjoy them, but I enjoy an amber more. But my range is certainly much broader now because of this bartender.
The nice thing, if I didn’t enjoy it, I didn’t have to pay for it. But I also found quite a few new beers that I wouldn’t have tried unless he did this. That is a good bartender. He knew I was too cautious and would just pick something safe, so he pushed me and I actually thanked him several times for that. Imagine that–he ordered for me. So selfish!
Second request, Springs1, which is it?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10939235&postcount=293
Springs1, why aren’t you answering Carol Stream’s QUESTION? He asked it up above. WHY aren’t YOU ANSWERING QUESTIONS IN THE ORDER THEY ARE ASKED!!! That’s the ONLY fair way to DO THINGS! Do you LIKE being UNFAIR!!! No, you DO NOT!
Why should the waiter get more of a tìp for bringing lobster than for bringing a salad?
This whole 20% tipping is crazy. I tip at my pleasure and according to my satisfaction. Waiter are not entitled to my money, only to their employer’s.
If you’re not being paid enough (as with zillions of people in millions of other jobs) no tears from me. What makes waiters so special?
Our local Chinese place specifically states “All soda are receive one free refill.”
Not kidding either. It’s right there on the front of the menu.
You have nothing to say, because I PROVED you wrong. WHY did we get a menu if the servers are going to decide for us what we want? I just would like you to answer that one question, please.
Let me ask you this: “WHY wouldn’t you expect to ASK or to BE ASKED for what YOU PERSONALLY WANT?” Is EVERYONE the SAME? They aren’t, so WHY expect anything like that unless you actually tell your server upfront HOW you want your service to go?
I don’t expect to ask for bread, which I have been a few restaurants where the servers said “ONLY IF IT’S REQUESTED” type of thing they told us. I expect the server to ASK ME, NOT for ME to ASK THEM! There’s a HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. One is offering from the server, the other is asking for something from the server.
You should expect to ask for what you want. Do servers have ESP or can read minds? Since we all know NO ONE in this world can, you have to ASK for what you want in this world if they don’t ask you.
At Outback since 99.9% of the time, they don’t greet you with bread, I shouldn’t have to ask for bread, but the servers should ASK US if we want bread. Do you understand what being CONSIDERATE is?
As far as Red Lobster goes, it’s on the menu you get the cheese biscuits with the entrees, so there’s no reason to ask anything there. The menu says so. At Outback or any restaurant that servers free bread or chips n’ salsa that’s not on the menu, the server should be asking if the customer wants what they are serving them. It’s called being considerate.
If it’s so “REQUIRED” at all the chains to give refills without asking, then HOW COME I go FREQUENTLY to Chili’s, Applebee’s, Outback, Red Lobster, etc. and RARELY get that type of service in general? I didn’t see I never did, because that would be a lie. I said that I RARELY get servers that do that. Also, what if the customer states specifically they don’t like that type of service? They still should be able to abide by what makes the customer happy, shouldn’t they?
It’s NOT “REQUIRED”, because I wouldn’t see the SAME SERVERS WORK THERE, now would I? They would be getting FIRED.
They may require servers refill drinks in a certain amount of time, but WHO in the world said ANYTHING about if they ask the customer first that they will get penalized? They won’t and don’t get fired. I know lots of servers at certain restaurants I frequent, mainly the chains that do NOT get us refills without asking. They ask, because they don’t want to overstep like that. They know that the CUSTOMER may or may not want a refill, so they don’t want to waste time getting things that may end up not being wanted. It’s stupid to risk doing work for nothing. It’s smart to do ONLY what is wanted. You said tipping isn’t a game, well, serving refills isn’t a guessing game as well.
It IS “RUDE”, because it’s not supposed to be THEIR decision IF or WHAT I want next in MY dining experience. That’s ONLY the CUSTOMER’S DECISION ONLY! It’s rude, because they didn’t ask for my permission and wasted my time. It’s rude, because it’s not caring that they just did what THEY wanted to do instead of what I wanted them to do. It’s rude, because it’s INCONSIDERATE of what I want and my time as well.
Rudeness is an OPINIONATED word. Rudeness is in the eye of the beholder. You don’t see it as rude, but I and people that don’t want a refill or something else DO. You don’t see it as rude if you want the item, because you get what YOU want. I see it as rude even more so if I didn’t want the item and they wasted my time. HOW in the world is that NICE if they wasted your time? It’s not. It’s rude and mean.
I am not enforcing personal rules. I am telling it like it is that NO server has rights to ORDER for their customers. We did get a MENU for a reason, correct? Was it so the wait staff can decide for us or is it so WE could READ IT FOR OURSELVES to make decisions about what WE WANT ONLY, NOT what they want? Are they given a menu and making decisions? Are they drinking or eating the drinks or food? Then WHY should they get a say so in what the customer wants?
It’s supposed to go that the server is supposed to ask what the customer wants or doesn’t want. It’s NOT supposed to go that the server is supposed to do the ordering. WHY did we get a MENU if you were right? I’d like to know your answer, please tell me.
I am not withholding tips, I LOWER the tip if this happens and if it happens a number of times, for everytime it happens, 1% or so is taken off for them deciding for us what we want instead of being considerate enough to ASK first since we are the CUSTOMERS here, NOT THEM and are the ones that are drinking the drinks here, NOT THEM!