Am I supposed to feel bad for you? Because I don’t.
I hope that someday something terrible, beyond your control happens to you. Then you’ll think twice before making asshole-ish remarks like that.
Come on - it’s pretty clear that the important variable is sex rather than ailment. Imagine if you were both fat and the different reactions everyone would have depending on which of you called the other a “fatass”.
Such things have happened to me but since when is cutting your wrists beyond your control?
I think a lot of people have a tendency to assume that because we don’t think something’s a big deal (baldness, or a big huge zit, or ugly shoes, or whatever it may be, etc.) the person we’re making fun of also thinks of it in similarly petty terms.
I would never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings, re: something I know bothers them…and therein lies the problem, IMHO. For instance, let’s say one of my girlfriends has a zit on her chin–one of my guy friends is going bald–one of the regulars at my bar has a hideous shirt on—etc., etc…none of this affects how attractive they are, in MY opinion, so they’re fair game.
So I give them some crap about it, and they may laugh, and take it well, etc, but what I may not realize is that I’ve really hit on one of their major insecurities, and I don’t even realize it.
I say this because I’ve been there. We all have, I’m sure. Somebody makes some throwaway remark about something that really bothers you, and it’s all you can think about. They have no idea how badly they’ve hurt your feelings, and you don’t want to call them on it because you KNOW they didn’t mean it to hurt you as badly as it did, but the fact remains that you feel like crap.
I’m not saying that this is what happened in the OP’s case, but I think we all have a tendency to forget that what may seem minor, what might seem funny, might really hurt somebody very badly.
As far as the OP goes…once somebody brings it, personal-remark wise, turn and turn about is fair play.
I’m confused. Were your wrists too fat?
:eek: wow, this thread certainly turned scary.
Anyhoo, on the lighter side of things, my friend’s son was teasing him about being bald and his mom said, “Well you know how he got that way? From banging against the headboard.”
That shut him up quick.
Yeah, but not ‘ha-ha’ funny.
Squeaker Snow, I’ve been at that point in my life long ago. Since then I’ve found out a lot of things that I didn’t know about weight related issues.
For one thing, it is very often just as genetically related as baldness! Many of us have a substance in our stomaches that we inherit that causes us to hold onto fat and store it more “efficiently” as we diet. So whle we are losing weight, our bodies start to hang on to every bit of fat that it can. What’s more, this same substance increases the appetite.
This helped your ancient ancestors to survive in hard times, but it is working against us these days. The good news is that researchers are hoping to get an obesity vaccine approved in the near future that will deal with this part of the problem.
I discovered to my own surprise that most of my eating was compulsive and could be controlled with medication. (The same meds also affected compulsive shopping and cut back on my smoking.) It is a medication that is used to treat seizures (although I don’t have a problem with seisures). It’s interesting that something that treats the chemistry in the brain could so drastically alter my eating habits! I have to make myself remember to eat after a lifetime of being absorbed with getting my next “hit.”
I had gastric by-pass surgery eight years ago and lost 150 pounds. With the help of the meds, I have maintained that weight loss. My “will power” isn’t will power at all. It is just different brain chemistry available at a pharmacy. Most of the “normal” people who take potshots here were born with it already in their systems.
I would like to see them strap on 75 pounds of weights on their chests and 75 pounds of weights on their backs and live that way day in and day out without relief and see how hilarious it really is.
*There are ways out of your distress – your weight problems and your depression. There are others here with similar circumstances. Don’t take this thread as a good example of what you will usually find at SDMB!
Dear Zoe,
Thank you so much for your compassionate reply regarding being fat and overeating. I didn’t get back with you earlier because I just decided to stop looking at this thread because it turned so ugly.
I don’t even know why I replied to such an “innocent” thread with such a dark answer. My only excuse is sometimes I can’t understand why people are so uncaring. Fat people and I guess bald ones are the last groups it is “okay” to make fun of.
I took Topamax for several months to help with compulsive overeating. It helped with the overeating, but made me so tired, I could hardly get out of bed.
Six and a half weeks ago I had gastric bypass surgery. Miracle of miracles I have lost over 40 lbs. and have started to feel hope.
My insurance refused to pay so my husband and I paid out of pocket. But, it’s worth it. I think this operation has saved my life.
Anyway, thank you so much for coming to my defense. I’ll be more careful with my posts in the future.
Your Doper pal,
Marsie
“Squeaker Snow”
Parts of this discussion are interesting. Let’s not make it a Pit thread, OK?
Maybe you could contribute to this thread.