Bald = funny. Fat = not funny. Why?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m going bald. I’m pretty much okay with this fact.

My sister is fat.

At one of our family gatherings, she made some wise-crack about my ever-expanding forehead. Everyone kind of laughed and some even cracked their own bald jokes. I took it in pretty good humor, but said something like “Yeah, some of us lose our hair when we get older, and some of us gain weight”, clearly referring to my sister. Everyone seemed shocked, but why?

Keep in mind that I also used to be fat and am currently 75 pounds lighter than my heaviest, and my family knows how hard I worked to get here.

So what’s the deal? Why is bald funny and fat mean?

2

I think you are a victim of the idea that guys are required to “be good sports” when verbally abused, while gals are not.

Note that I am NOT suggesting that this should be the case.

It goes without saying that in the media, fat people are just as much abused as balding people.

Tenar (who is fat and whose hair has also seen better days.)

3

I’d say it’s probably because being bald is seen as being out of your area of control and so to comment on your baldness is not to say that you are in any way lacking as a person (i.e. you didn’t lose your hair through lack of willpower to have it stay on your head), whereas being fat is seen as being in ones area of control and so to comment on fatness is to say that the fat person is lacking (i.e. they lack the willpower to control their eating).

4

Maybe because bald happens and fat is self-imposed? You lose your hair because of genetics, but generally you gain weight because you eat too much, or eat the wrong things, or some other personal “failing” - so joking about baldness is observing that fate dealt you a hairless hand, whereas joking about fat is a personal attack.

Did that make sense? I dunno.

5

Being fat is a social stigma, and I don’t think that being bald is. While men are sensitive about their hair, I don’t think that losing it is really a net negative for a man’s sex appeal–as a woman, I have to say that a man’s hair is usually one of the last things I think about, when I’m evaluating his looks. Being fat, on the other hand, is pretty widely thought of as being unattractive. Also, it’s very often (please oh please–let’s not hash this over again here!) a result of lifestyle, whereas going bald is just in one’s genes, and bound to happen no matter what the man does.

Don’t worry your balding little head over it.

6

I agree with this. Men are expected to be good sports about teasing.

I would expand it to include popular culture bias. Women are often teased about shopping, fickleness; and vanity. Men are often teased about one-track minds, predictability; and slovenliness in the bathroom. Attitudes and behavior can be changed. I wouldn’t have any problem being teased about those things.

Having said that: regardless of what Hollywood thinks is funny, picking on someone about matters of genetics is unkind no matter where it comes from. amount of hair, imperfect teeth; height: these things are inherited. It is unfair to tease someone about some perceived imperfection that they have no control over.

Please tell your sister I said “Go to your room.”

7

Fat men are funny.

Fat women are tragic.

8

As a fat man, I can tell you that I’ve had a lot of gentle and not so gentle ribbing. People usually laugh.

9

That’s funny because it’s usually assumed that fat people have a good sense of humor; no such assumption is made of bald people.

10

“Aren’t you people supposed to be jolly?”

11

Once, when I was out to dinner late and waaay too friggn drunk, I happened to poke fun at a heavy acquaintance of mine at the table. “If I keep eating like this, I’m gonna look like you do.”

5 years later, I myself weighed 200 lbs. Payback’s a bitch.

12

My hair is thin enough that it looks much better shaven than not. Back before I started the shaving, a snotty female coworker liked to give me shit about my hair. We’re talking this was her go-to joke. One day she suggested I get a hair transplant. I responded that we could use her upper lip as a donor site. Never heard another bald joke out of her. :smiley:

I do think it’s partly a sex/gender thing working a couple of ways:
Both sexes have the potential to be overweight, and I’m guessing at roughly the same probability. But baldness is I think more prevalent in men. And men are supposed to be beyond vanity when it comes to baldness. Only the really vain guys get hairpieces. But imagine a woman going bald and not wearing a wig or otherwise covering her head.

There’s also the “men have to be good sports”/“you wouldn’t hit a girl” deal. Morally/ethically, it’s a load of bilge. But because many people still believe this, you violate this one at your peril. I think you should allow a woman one “gimme.” Decide whether you care what she or anyone else thinks of you for jamming back at her.

13

I’m not sure what to think of this thread. Am I funny or not?

14

I expect that a lot of people would perceive it as a negative, though- it says “old.”

15

It is possible that, in this particular case, your past as a fat guy is what made it seem offensive. Perhaps people thought you were “rubbing it in” that you were able to lose weight and she can’t.

In a more general sense, I do think there is a greater social stigma against fat women than bald men.
Many bald men are seen as sexy (like that guy who played Picard on Star Trek), while very few men will admit to lusting after fat women (I can’t even think of any truly fat women who are considered hot in pop culture). I’m sure you’re well aware of how women tend to be very sensitive about weight issues. In many women’s minds, “Fat” translates to “Ugly”.

Plus, on a day to day basis, I think fat people tend to suffer more from their weight than men do from baldness. The physical aspect of being fat is uncomfortable (as you probably remember from your own experience), in addition to how some people tease or look down on you for being fat.

That being sad, it’s too bad that this happened. It’s always sad when a good-intentioned joke ends up hurting someone’s feelings.

16

Well, you certainly made me laugh when I read this, so, yes, you’re funny. In a good way.

17

I guess I just thought that joking about something entirely out of my control (hair loss) was more harsh than joking about something my sister has control over (her weight). Perhaps I was wrong?

I do see your points now, about fat women being completely undesirable, but bald men aren’t instantly unattractive. I’m in the habit of being a good sport about my enormous forehead anyway, so I’ll try to be a little more sensitive about firing back in the future.

18

I was feeling **real jolly ** the time I cut my wrists because I didn’t want to live another day fat.

19

[QUOTE=wasson]
I guess I just thought that joking about something entirely out of my control (hair loss) was more harsh than joking about something my sister has control over (her weight). Perhaps I was wrong?

QUOTE]

I agree with you completely. Picking at someone about a genetic imperfection is unkind and not gender specific. Instead of sucking it up and laughing, why not call her on it? “That is kind of mean.” might be more effective than a snappy comeback.

Bald or balding= maturity in my mind as well as indicating the presence of testosterone. It isn’t a negative trait unless you allow it to be.

20

Actually I think it should be the other way around- you shouldn’t make jokes about things a person can’t help, like being bald, or being born without arms, or being blind, because you can’t help these things. Things like being fat, being smelly, being an ass, things you have control over, should be more likely targets for jokes.