I’m corresponding with a soldier in Afghanistan who I believe is black. She says that they* could really use some haircare products and I have only my lifelong experience of taking care of my own caucasian hair. I know there are specific products for black women and I have NO clue what she would need on a daily basis and she didn’t tell me. You know how important it is for us ladies to feel like we’re taking care of ourselves every day.
Are there ‘safe’ basics I could get at Sally’s, like shampoo and conditioner or certain brands? Do I need to know if her hair’s been colored/processed, etc? I hate to look like an ignorant putz here, but I guess I am. I hope I’m not stereotyping but I get the feeling I’m tapdancing into that territory.
*‘They’ would be the soldier and her sister, who are stationed together. How neat is that?
Well, first, I’d suggest that you be sure she’s black.
Well, I’m a man, and I’m bombarded with all kinds of info about what “ladies of color” should use. Being in Georgia, I’d imagine you’d be too. Just ask her what she wants. You know that she might be wearing a helmet a lot, so the really fancy stuff wouldn’t work anyway.
I have inquired in a vague way as to what I could pick up at Sally’s Beauty Supply, which has a huge selection of haircare products for everyone; they even have a men’s section! Her computer time is limited, though, and I hate for her to waste it on me when she could be spending it on her family.
I think that even if I sent her products that wouldn’t suit her hair, she’d just give it to another soldier who could use it.
Even if she wore a helmet all day, I think most women would feel better if they were taking care of their hair, regardless of its appearance at the end of the day.
I have nothing to add for your particular situation, but I’ve got to ask…why are these products not provided by the military? I mean, I sent a care package full of things like disposable razors, wipes, deodorant, shampoo, etc., but do they* not * provide these items to those who are serving? Is there not enough money in the defense fund to buy goddamn deodorant? I don’t get it. I could see sending other items…things like CDs and books and magazines, but why do they come to the public for basic hygeine products?
They provide basic hygeine products, but sometimes it’s nice to have a little bit of home sent to you in the form of a bottle of your favorite shampoo or deodorant. At least that’s my experience from helping put together care packages for friends-of-friends in the Canadian military.
I would definitely try to get specific product recommendations from her. I’m not black either, but having had a few discussions with black women coworkers about hair and stuff, I wouldn’t know what to get either, because the stuff they used on their hair sounded very very different from what I’d use.
Aren’t there a couple of the major brands who have a line for black hair now ('bout time, too!)? If you can’t talk to her about specifics, I bet those would work. I do know you want very very moisturizing stuff. Beyond that, I’m clueless.
I was just ranting about that the other day, (not because I mind in any way spending my money to send her and her group reminders of home and normalcy, which I know boosts their morale to no end), but because it turns my stomach to hear stories of millions of dollars of waste by various govy contractors (KBR, etc) while the people whose lives are on the line just want a freakin’ box of Little Debbie cakes or maybe some damn tampons. And even when they have the money to buy them, the PX/BX gets them so infrequently they may not even be available to buy. These servicepeople should be treated like they’re in the Green room of the Today show.
I’m not working one-on-one with anyone. This was a local grass-roots organization that bought items en masse and sent them to the troops, one box at a time, with a specific soldier’s name on it, but just generic stuff that everyone gets (male or female is the only distinction). Kind of defeats the purpose if they can get all the same stuff on the base.
Where do you get names of people to correspond with one-on-one?
I’m black and I have no idea what “basic haircare products” for black people are. Seems like that would be person-specific kind of thing that is dependent on hair texture, length, thickness, whether it was chemically straightened or natural, and personal preference.
Ask her to be more specific. If she can name some brands and types, send her a whole bunch of those. I’m sure someone will use them.
Woman of color checking in. Pantene makes a line called “Relaxed and Natural,” a pretty good line of basic products which should work no matter what she does with her hair. The line includes shampoos, conditioners, and an oil cream moisturizer for daily use.
They are more a drugstore/general merchandise store item, as a opposed to a Sally item. Look for the dark reddish brown bottles.
I don’t feel entirely comfortable with this thread, and I’m not black, but I’ll answer.
Being of E. Indian descent, my hair is generally less silky and smooth than white people’s. Mine is also very curly, though, so that makes a huge difference. So I tend towards products that work on the curl and keep the curls in.
You’ll need to know more specifically what kind of hair she has and what she likes. I second, or third, or fourth the recommendation to discuss hair with her!
It’s all people I know, or friends-of-friends. I don’t know if there’s a program to “adopt a soldier”, so to speak, but I think it would be a good thing. What you’re doing is great, too, though!
Heh-heh…when you become a “certain age”, like me, you know fewer and fewer people who are actually serving. Since I don’t work in an office, I don’t even know of any co-workers who are friends or parents of service people. I will need to go to a match-up site of some sort.
I’d be interested in knowing if the military differentiates between people of color and caucasians with regard to how they stock items. Anyone from the inside know if they do? Is it proportionate to the population in the military?
Thanks, that’s really helpful. I keep meaning to do anysoldier.com - I’ve looked on the site and often they’re just requesting, like, “tampons, lotion, and hair-care stuff for black hair”, or just plain “hair care stuff”, and I’d hate to send what I use and have it not be helpful to those ladies; however, I’ve been to the “black lady hair stuff” aisle and been so lost! I mean, it would be nice to know something generic that most people could use if you just send a box to a group.
Go to the ‘Where to Send’ tab on Anysoldier.com. It’s set up to send you via email an address you request for service persons registered with the site. It’s an immediate email, though, it’s not as though you’re vetted or anything. You may request up to 3 addresses a day.
Anaamika, I’m sorry about your discomfort as you’re one of the nicer people I run into on this board. None was intended, I assure you; I’m just exposing my ignorance to the world in hopes of correcting it.
KayElCee, I just saw that line of shampoos, etc the other day at the store! Thanks for the reminder.
you with the face, when I think of ‘basic’, I think of whatever one would use regularly for cleaning, protecting, moisturizing, etc. When I chemically treat my hair with colors or perms, I have to use different (and more) daily products than when I don’t.
Yeah, it’s a farce. Even in most jails they give guys razors. This is the legacy of Rumsfeld’s “meaner, leaner” military. I guess I’d get pretty mean, too, if I had to get a razor donated to me by a stranger on the other side of the world.
And also if my foot got blown off for no particulary good reason.
White chick with “sistah hair” checking in, here. I got turned on to these products by some of my black girlfriends who swear by them, and I’ve been very happy with the results. They’re one of the few product lines I know of that are marketed to black women but work incredibly well for us paler types that need a little more oomph in our hair care.
There’s a limited selection available at my local Kroger’s and a much larger bunch at Sally’s and I think the prices are reasonable, to boot. I’d suggest a few shampoo/conditioner combos, with a pomade and a leave-in conditioner as well. The shampoos will be used more often than the others, or she could share the wealth.
