We had those in Southern California, too. But if I had a whole nickel, I wasn’t about to blow it on gum (which Mom didn’t let us have anyway), not when chocolate was available.
When I was kid we still had individual glass milk bottles at school with collectable paper caps.
Somehow I know what those are. Couldn’t have been at school though, we had those triangular carton things. Might have been something the milkman would deliver.
Anectodal Aside: years ago, during a particularly bored period, I went down a Google rabbit hole searching for the question “what is bubble gum flavor?” Most of us can easily imagine the unique smell and taste of ‘bubble gum’ flavor from our youth. I’m talking the original flavor, OG Bazooka Joe gum being the perfect example.
Other things are flavored with it, like bubble gum flavored ice cream. But what exactly is “bubble gum flavor”? The answer, when I tried to google it, was surprisingly nebulous and hidden in the mists of time and proprietary trade secrets among bubble gum manufacturers. It was kind of similar to googling the secret ingredients to Coke or the KFC herbs and spices. But the most likely answer I found was…
A mix of strawberry, banana, and vanilla.
Funny, when I started reading this thread the National Lampoon thing was the first thing I thought of. The British one, in particular.
(From memory):
Character 1: I say old chap, don’t throw that cat in the river.
Character 2: Why not?
C1: Cats don’t like being wet.
C2 (lighting cat on fire): But what if they’re on fire?
C1: Hmm, yes, I do suppose you have a point there.
Mmmm, time to create a new summer dessert. I’m not usually a fan of desserts, but I do like them when they’re made with fruit and as little sugar as possible. A few years ago, I got a hankering for peaches and cherries and found a way to combine them.
In other words:
Summary
Banana Split flavor 
The British one?
“Mastication Elastic Joseph”. I assumed he was supposed to be British, maybe not.
More than likely you’d bend/break hardened steel blades.
Joe was named after a real kid…my BiL’s cousin
I spent some time in Korea in the mid-90s and they had an awful soda that had that exact taste but very strong. We called it bubble gum juice.
Were they easier to open than those stupid cardboard cartons where the spout can be difficult to unfold due to the glue?
There was a reason for that:
Very easy to open…but also very easy to distract the person handing out the bottles to grab those collectable caps, leaving a bunch of bottles topless, so to speak.
Yep. Also dishwasher soap.
All sorts of stuff. Towels, glasses, knives. Housewife of the past needed a prize in the box to stay motivated I guess.
when i bought it in the early 80s it was 3 cents
Yikes!!! Poor little fella.
The closest thing I can think of that you didn’t already mention in the OP is how certain overseas sellers will always include a little candy or sticker or similar in their packages as a thank you gift.
(Not so much the mass market sellers or the super cheap stuff, but more individual sellers.)
Wrigley started out selling soap with a free gift of baking soda. The baking soda was popular so he switched to selling that with a free gift of gum. The rest is history!
The most likely reason for a child to wear an eyepatch is to correct a lazy eye.. Sally Brown in Peanuts went through a period of wearing an eyepatch for that reason.
So this is my head-canon. I’ll believe it until an official source tells me otherwise.