Ooh. I want to solve murders and mysteries ala’ Mrs. Fletcher. Now, back to the drawing board. I need the manual ‘How to Murder in 3 easy lessons’. Wonder if Amazon has it?
“How to murder” who or what? Are you finally going to do in the Siamese cats? Can’t say that I blame you! Get them before the murderous bastards get you! 
Nah. It’s needs to be an unsavory type person. So no one will be to mad at the murderer. I have to solve it and save face in one fell swoop.
They do! The Simple Art of Murder by Raymond Chandler. Learn from the best!
So you both want to commit the murder & solve it?
Isn’t that just saying, “I confess.” 
Well, yeah. But what’s the fun of that? I have to throw a few red herrings and false leads in there. Makes it much more interesting for the casual reader.
I will end up the hero and given the keys to the city.
Of course I’m an accomplished writer. Not sure when I’m supposed to make time to write. With all the crime solving and covering up of my murders, I’m kind of a busy girl.
Ah, forget it. I’m way too lazy for all this shit. I don’t like blood and gore anyways.
(Note to self: don’t do any murders. Too messy)
You realize that this would mean that the local murder rate would go through the roof. Are you prepared for the effects of your decision on your friends and neighbours?
Ah, who needs 'em?
I’ve have decided I’m too lazy and unmotivated to be a first class murderer. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it half-assed. So, I guess I’ll just have to wait on disasters to show up on my doorstep. It seems the black cloud of eminent danger is always lurking near me. There’s that, I guess.
You could live here. There was another attempt on my life yesterday. When will management realize their guests are often senile and are incapable of following the directions on a bag of microwave popcorn without setting off the smoke detectors?
My sundowner hasn’t noticed it’s dawn and is throwing stuff around.