Oh, come now, Cecil. Your article failed to mention a classic known from at least the third grade onward (that’s where I learned it):
Gee, the version I learned as a kid involved a sock, with the last line: And babies were prevented.
That was verse two!
Sponges. No really.
A previous poster pointed out a useful book on this subject. May I proffer another, most excellent tome:
Shitting Pretty: How to Stay Clean and Healthy While Traveling by Dr. Jane Wilson-Howarth
I talks about the various means used worldwide to clean our collective bottoms, and useful advice for the western traveller to places where the customary means of post-evacuative cleansing are not intuitive…
cheers,
Ereek
I wish someone would hurry and invent the three seashells.
Yet another useful book, which, BTW, begins with a short discussion of one Mr. Crapper, is “How to Shit in the Woods.”
How this applies to the OP, IDK, but I’m not exactly sure how the OP applies to the article.
While I’m at it:
In days of old, when men were bold
the clit not yet discovered
The women simply pleased themselves
and knights remained unrubbered