being a child again

Relive my childhood as it was? NO F***ING WAY?! Not even if I could go back to it with my current (i.e., adult) knowledge. My two wildest fantasies were, when I was a kid, were to (1) grow up and be on my own, which I did when I was 18, and (2) be an only child, which of course was impossible. No, I never got close to my sister; in fact now as an adult at least I don’t have to even see or talk to her (which I don’t).

While I wasn’t physically or sexually abused as Tanookie mentioned she was, my parents should not have been allowed to breed either (there was, on the other hand, more than enough neglect and emotional abuse at home: nothing I did was ever “good enough”).

I was also always “different” from the other kids and was picked on constantly, sometimes beaten up and pushed down stairwells. Oftentimes I walked home from school “the long way” so as to avoid the kids who said they were going to beat the hell out of me after school. The one time I complained to my parents about my schoolmates picking on me, I was told it was my fault and that “If you’d just be like everyone else, they’d stop.” I came to hold my school and everyone in it in such contempt that when it came time to finally get out of prison, er, graduate from high school, I refused to be in the yearbook or to take part in the graduation ceremony – I walked to the school office the day after graduation and picked up my diploma from one of the secretaries.

Nope, there is NO WAY I’d ever care to relive ANY aspect of my childhood or adolescence. Not for a zillion bucks. And I wouldn’t want to be a kid again period, not even with different parents and going to different schools. Even though as an adult I have the responsibility of working to support myself rather than being a kid whose parents have to worry about that sort of thing, I also have the freedom of being able to make my own decisions.

Very early childhood, probably. Elementary school, maybe. Adolescence, no way in hell, not for anything in the world. (I’m giving serious thought to home-schooling my children during those years, if I ever have any.)

I’m eighteen and wouldn’t go back even a year.

not a chance. I hated childhood the first time, why would I want to go through it again? This is like asking, “after you were thrown into a wood chipper, if given the choice, would you choose to be thrown into it again?”

I’d relive my childhood, only if I sould somehow avoid the seething evil bastard bullies that were my so-called “classmates” during public and senior public–especially senior public, grades 7 and 8–school. School damaged me in so many ways that I’m even now only putting myself back together. And I’m 40.

Hell, no. My parents were great and I had a happy childhood, but I love being a grown-up. Sure, I have to pay the rent and bills, worry about insurance, etc., but ah, the blissful freedom…

If I want to have candy and beer for dinner, who’s going to stop me? If I want to see an R- or X-rated movie, I can. I’ve got my own car, so I no longer have to rely on the Big People for transportation. I can cuss like a sailor and watch as much TV as I want to. My friends are people I’ve chosen, not the kids of my parents’ friends. Why on earth would I want to be a kid again?