Being a functioning alchoholic is not "developing social skills"

Ok…I enjoy drinking and socializing as much if not more than the next guy. But I’m freakin sick and tired of people who think that an ability to hang out in a bar until 4:00am is “developing social skills” or getting drunk at happy hour with your coworkers is “team building” or “networking”.

The people in the companies where I work with apparently think that it does. Well, which of these activites do you think has enhanced your professional image to me or our clients:
-Getting so drunk you can’t speak
-Showing up 5 hours late or not at all
-Spending the entire day hung over
-Losing your laptop in a bar
-Passing out in a bar
-Telling me my girlfriend is being a “bitch” because she doesn’t like you slobering on me before passing out in a bar
-Trying to make out with me in a hotel lobby
-Trying to make out with me in a bar
-Getting mad at me because I won’t let you make out with me (all different girls :smiley: )
-Spilling wine on your boobie
-Getting sloppy
-Getting into a fist fight or “stepping up” to someone
-Hitting on the bosses wife
-Hitting yourself in the face with a door (ok I did that one when I was 24)
-Dropping $500 in a stripclub
-Taking your team to…uh…more than a stripclub
-Dancing inappropriately with a subordinate 15 years younger than you
-Going into a tirade at the Sr Managing Director of the practice about everything wrong with the company
-Bringing your mistress to a company function

Now I’m not really a prudish guy. I like to drink and party with my friends. I even like to be friendly and go out for the occasional drink with people from work. I’m not even sure why it pisses me off so much.

Anyhow, for you twenty-somethings that think a job like this is “awesome” or you managers who think this is the way to keep your staff happy, here is the reality:

-People do not forget how you act when drunk. You are only building a network of people who think you are an alchoholic R-tard
-A corporate culture targeting the maturity level of a 23 year old with the maturity of a 17 year old is not sustainable
-All the happy hours in the world will not make up for lack of professional growth, low wages, or a bad work environment
-Work is not an extension of your college days. It is not a chance to relive your youth.
-You want to network, join a professional organization
-People get promoted in spite of being the office drunk or slut, not because of it

Poor baby.

huh. I’ve seen/heard about all of the above behaviors from over 20’s too. I’ve poinetedly stayed away from work related/drinking funcitions for exactly the sorts of things you list.

I think I need more info about this one before I can decide:

Would that be showing up 5 hours late to the bar, or to the office the next morning?

:smack: :smack: :smack:

I wonder if it’s too late to change what I wrote on my annual performance appraisal…

I take it you have a prehensile liver, too?

No, I don’t drink.
[sub]Not really, but that’s the joke, see?[/sub]

PC hyphenation…I kinda like it. It’s less vague and not as offensive as M-loid

No. :confused: :frowning:

Was it funny?

Really funny. Laugh!


Er…I’m a 30-something, and I’d like to have access to your company’s hiring website.

My mistress, too.


We once had a department happy hour. I went along happily, because I thought it would be fun. The entire time, the VP of our group was trying to get me to order an alcoholic drink - I was sticking with Diet Coke.

I kept politely telling him no, I wasn’t interested. But by the end of the afternoon, I was ready to punch him in the face. I CAN HAVE FUN SOBER YOU IMMATURE FUCK.

I shall be going out for a couple this evening. Wish me luck.

You know what I hate about people who drink too much. They tend to repeat themselves.

So I see.

Actually, if punching a VP was on the table, I’d skip the alcohol at my company functions.

To clarify, in the interest of continuing employment, I did not actually punch the VP. I’m sure you’re all disappointed.

Hey don’t get me wrong. I’ve got no problem with girls getting drunk and hooking up with me. I just don’t think it really helps our company improve performance is all.

Man, I really should have talked to you before I wrote my performance appraisal.

I manage to do this when I’m totally sober. I’ve even been known to spill water, Diet Coke, and lots of other alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks there. I just tell people I’ve got a little bit of a drinking problem :wink:

Some of us are just clumsy, what can I say.

As far as msmith’s rants go, this one is pretty decent. Some solid points that could apply to people in college as well, frankly.