Ok…I enjoy drinking and socializing as much if not more than the next guy. But I’m freakin sick and tired of people who think that an ability to hang out in a bar until 4:00am is “developing social skills” or getting drunk at happy hour with your coworkers is “team building” or “networking”.
The people in the companies where I work with apparently think that it does. Well, which of these activites do you think has enhanced your professional image to me or our clients:
-Getting so drunk you can’t speak
-Showing up 5 hours late or not at all
-Spending the entire day hung over
-Losing your laptop in a bar
-Passing out in a bar
-Telling me my girlfriend is being a “bitch” because she doesn’t like you slobering on me before passing out in a bar
-Trying to make out with me in a hotel lobby
-Trying to make out with me in a bar
-Getting mad at me because I won’t let you make out with me (all different girls 
)
-Spilling wine on your boobie
-Getting sloppy
-Getting into a fist fight or “stepping up” to someone
-Hitting on the bosses wife
-Hitting yourself in the face with a door (ok I did that one when I was 24)
-Dropping $500 in a stripclub
-Taking your team to…uh…more than a stripclub
-Dancing inappropriately with a subordinate 15 years younger than you
-Going into a tirade at the Sr Managing Director of the practice about everything wrong with the company
-Bringing your mistress to a company function
Now I’m not really a prudish guy. I like to drink and party with my friends. I even like to be friendly and go out for the occasional drink with people from work. I’m not even sure why it pisses me off so much.
Anyhow, for you twenty-somethings that think a job like this is “awesome” or you managers who think this is the way to keep your staff happy, here is the reality:
-People do not forget how you act when drunk. You are only building a network of people who think you are an alchoholic R-tard
-A corporate culture targeting the maturity level of a 23 year old with the maturity of a 17 year old is not sustainable
-All the happy hours in the world will not make up for lack of professional growth, low wages, or a bad work environment
-Work is not an extension of your college days. It is not a chance to relive your youth.
-You want to network, join a professional organization
-People get promoted in spite of being the office drunk or slut, not because of it
