I don’t need to be locked into restricted confined spaced to protect me from me. I’m fine. I don’t hurt me; I don’t hurt other people. Hell, I am fully employed and pay fucking taxes, okay? So same rules for me as anyone else. But my head doesn’t seem to run like most other peoples’.
You most likely (if I’m understanding what everyone else has said, in person and in books) only entertain one version of what you consider real, and that’s your reality, right? You don’t operate a separarate channel in which you take different axioms as legitimate and consider different things to be real, and consider that to be just as real… or fucking hell maybe you do. I’ve met people who tell me they go to some kind of conventions, or gatherings, where they exist as their other selves, whether they be their medieval incarnations or their elvish personaes or whatever… who am I to say whether what they do is different from what I do? (Reciprocally, can I say that what I do is no different than what THEY do?)
I have this alternative vision of reality in which I am changing social reality in a really revolutionary way. It upsets people and I’m perhaps in danger for it. But people are actually responding (some affirmatively, some with revulsion) from what I’ve said, which is having impact. I have to choose and I choose to take my chances and stay on message and then really intense confrontations evolve from that.
(It’s all about the gender identity stuff I’ve tried to promulgate since 1980)
I live in that world and also in the world where I haven’t had that kind of impact at all.
I’m lacking some context here. Are you saying you identify as a particular gender, but nobody accepts you as that gender because they’re unwilling to accept “alternate facts”?
Well I got both your books and found them entertaining and enlightening, though tbh That Guy was more of a challenge for me than Genderqueer. More theory or something.
I was quite painfully shy when I was young and developed into a high self-monitor in order to fit into a variety of social situations. It was easier than fighting with or being viewed as an outsider by other groups. I could easily fit into any group. I had my limits and scruples, however; I wouldn’t try or want to fit into a group of racists, for example.
Over the years, I became less and less shy, and as a result, developed into a low-self monitor. Accept the real me, or buzz off.
I can still high self monitor if I want to (like riding a bike, it’s a skill you never forget), but I rarely want to anymore.
We all have our small spheres of influence, but I’m not sure if that is like believing in a separate reality. In my nonprofit work I like to imagine I’m making a difference in my community, particularly now where I’m asked to take a leadership role in our agency. I can’t really quantify that difference except in dollars, as it’s my job to raise money. At any rate, it feels like important work to me.
I take that seriously while also knowing it’s a drop in the bucket. It doesn’t make me making a difference into a delusion or alternate reality, it’s just a change in context.
Similarly I’d like to believe my fiction writing has a positive impact on the people who read it, even though that’s only like 25 people until I get published. There are always people who don’t accept or understand it, though.
I’m honestly not sure if that’s what you’re talking about.
My best friend of 62 years can sometimes still surprise me. But we change all the time every one of us. It’s growth. It’s acceptance. It’s love.
Same with my Wife 27 year anniversary today. Sadly, I’m 100 miles away (we will play chess online later). My Wife saw that I played chess online when I had my hip replaced. She asked to learn to play. I taught her. Now we play about 20 games a month.
My Wife is a competitive person (former IronMan) but it doesn’t matter who wins. It’s about the game. I tell people that I like to play chess so I don’t have to think. Focus on something other than those troubles that life throws your way. It’s an escape.
Life is a journey of discovery, not a destination.
You have a dream and you’re working to make it real? That’s not crazy.
For example if during the civil rights movement a Black person makes the intentional decision to walk into a segregated restaurant and demand equal treatment, knowing full well the risks involved, that’s radical, but not crazy.
If you can’t tell the dream from reality, if you think you’ve accomplished things you haven’t accomplished… I still wouldn’t say crazy, necessarily. That word has certain implications. Detached from reality doesn’t necessarily imply crazy.
Rosa Parks and the LittleRock 9 didn’t change society. They are recognized for their contributions to the Civil Rights struggle.
9/11 didn’t change society. It changed the way some things are done to promote safety.
COVID didn’t change society. It caused a giant shift in hygiene practices out in public. And showed how hospital workers are expected to act in a pandemic. (Good or bad? IDK)
Don’t think you can cause a revolution about Gender issues. You can surely contribute and do your part. Revolutions are not easy to start or maintain.
If your alternate reality is you doing this I think I would volunteer or keep writing on this issue and not reside too much in the alternate world. Especially if you might be in danger.
I am in a better mood. (Perhaps it was not obvious that I was in a somewhat less pleasant one when I posted the OP). I received one early-reader response to my work-in-progress yesterday, and yet another today. That goes a long way towards alleviating the tension between “I am capable of having an effect on the world” and “I’m just trapped as a passive passenger despite having thoughts I want to broadcast”.
This book is in many ways more personal, more raw. So putting it out there makes me feel more peeled and vulnerable to the opinions of others than I like to feel. Sorry about the excessive drama.
I wear a utilikilt when I go out. I think some people find that nutty, and sometimes they laugh at me (I have been told – no one has had the testicular fortitude to laugh in my face or throw insults at me). I tell people (if they are comfortable talking to me) that I am a trendsetter. The people who are not comfortable talking to me, well, hey, the kilt is a good sieve, to keep them out of my space. Because, why would I want to meet people who are unwilling to accept me as-is?
I remember the tribulations of the '50s-60s woman, under whose skirt was the panties, the girdle, often with those garter clips for the stockings, and then the slip/half-slip. My mother switched to the simplicity of trousers in the early '70s, and it seemed to have made her much happier. Yet, all women seem to have a genetic memory of awkward attire, and when they see the kilted man, the idea that he might be getting all that freedom for free is galling.
Being “crazy”, if one is functional and content, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it leads to outstanding creative efforts.
When lobbying for craziness crosses the line into wholesale attacks on attempts to help those distressed by mental health impairments with counseling or medication, I have a problem with that.
