My husband plays in a band (hobby) with 3 other guys. For the first phase he refused to go to band. When the country and our company started relaxing restrictions, he started practice again. The room is huge, they never shake hands, and if anybody is even a little under the weather, they don’t go.
And we have visited our friend, who is on her own, and has also very little contact with others.
We go to work 1 day out of 5, with temperature checks, lots of disinfectent and distancing.
But no book club. We had our last meeting in February. The two oldest are late 60s / early 70s, and they are very concerned.
Basically, if you’re not comfortable, don’t go. You don’t have to give a reason, just say no. And you know that.
I sometimes feel frustrated that my parents are being so careful, because it means they are a bit on the isolated side (they are far away, so not in visiting range), but I am glad that they can decide their level of contact.
And now they are looking for outdoor heaters, so they can have one other couple come visit, stay outside, and have some social contact, even if the weather’s a bit chilly. They do not share their bathroom, and they don’t use the bathroom somewhere else.
I’m still being very cautious. I’ve gotten together with a small number of friends a couple of times in the past few months – always outdoors, always at 6-10’ distance. I’ve seen my parents, who live 200 miles away, once since the pandemic started – it was a day trip (so I wasn’t staying overnight in the house), and we all sat outside, again keeping at a distance. The only times I went into the house was to go to the bathroom, and I put on a mask to do so.
My wife is being slightly less cautious, and it’s making me a little skittish. She’s gone over to see her sister and mother a few times, and while they primarily sit outdoors, I know that they also spend time inside my sister’s house (though my wife tries to reassure me that they sit apart when they do so). But, my sister-in-law has three kids (a 20 year old son, and 15 year old twins), who are at least somewhat active with sports and seeing friends, and I worry about them being carriers. And, I just refuse to go with my wife on those visits.
To the OP’s question: as others have already noted, I see enough red flags in that gathering that I’d be very hesitant to go.
Exactly. My wife went over for a visit a week or so ago, for her sister’s birthday. After she got home, she tried to reassure me: “Oh, we sat outsite, except when we went inside to eat cake. But, my mom and my sister are both being really careful.”
Me: “Were the twins there?”
My wife: “Well, yes, of course.”
Me: “They’re still going out and doing things, seeing friends, playing softball, and all of that, yeah?” (The twins are in high school, and they were supposed to go back to in-person schooling this fall, but the school district changed to online-only at the eleventh hour.)
My wife: “Ohh, yeah. I hadn’t thought about that.”
All this bullshit about the imminence of a vaccine contributes to people letting down their guard.
Areas may or may not see a spike in the fall that’s equal to or greater than the worst they’ve seen so far, but the most dangerous period could start the day they announce one’s been approved. Because there will be mask burning parties.
We’ve had a couple friends over - not at the same time - for outdoor seated food and drink consumption (ergo, no masks.) Because the group was small, we were outdoors, we were seated 6’ or so apart, and conversation was at normal levels (no yelling or shouting), I was comfortable with it, even sans mask. Take away any one of those elements, and I probably wouldn’t be. So your scenario: I wouldn’t go.
You’re probably right, but this makes no sense whatsoever. The perceived imminence of a vaccine should cause people to more careful, not less, since they only need to hang on a little longer. As an analogy, if I’m going for a run, and it’s getting a few miles in, and I’m feeling winded, and things are starting to hurt, I might quit if I still have five miles to go. I really might quit if I have no idea how much longer. But if I have one minute left, no way am I quitting.
Could you imagine getting the vaccine, and then immediately burning your mask and going to a huge party, only to catch COVID in the short window before the vaccine takes effect?
I am - but very specific small groups and mainly outside. Only family members who don’t live in my house and who I trust to take appropriate precautions and tell me about symptoms.
A birthday pool party for my son’s friend. No masks though people tried to stay distanced (the pool helped). Four families, and the host made sure we knew exactly who was going to come and limited the guest list to only two people per family (one of whom was the child who was her son’s friend). So even though there were no masks I felt pretty comfortable that they were taking things seriously, and that the other families were as well. Also at the time our numbers weren’t too bad – not sure I would do it if it were this weekend.
Church (~15 people), all masked, chairs set up distanced. They were very careful about this, made sure everyone was masked, etc. I was actually pretty impressed by how thoughtful they were about it.
In your case, I don’t think I would do it, mostly because I don’t get the sense that I’d be comfortable that everyone in the group is really taking it seriously.
Five months and counting since the shutdown began. I have done ZERO socializing. The only person who’s been in my apartment has been the lady who cleans every two weeks–pretty essential, since I can’t see well enough–and she’s masked and is never in the same room. I haven’t been in anyone else’s home, either.
I’m so frustrated with people and their rationalizations: It’s just family. We’ve known Bob and Jenny for years. You can’t expect young people to isolate that long. Of course I wouldn’t miss my BFF’s bridal shower. They still swear they’ve been cautious, though, because those exceptions don’t count. This is why I don’t trust “bubbles.”
The “might as well take the plunge” remark seems particularly crazy to me. So COVID is something we’ve all been leery of but have to face sooner or later?
ThelmaLou, when the others said they don’t plan to wear face masks, does that mean they refuse to wear them, or might they reconsider if you presented the case for masking up? Otherwise, I’d do Zoom and hope they’re not so loud and passionate, they forget the Zoomies.
Well, at some point we will. I mean, I hope to hell there is a vaccine soon and I don’t intend to resume normal life until there is, but even when I am vaccinated and have been reassured by the authorities and my common sense that it is safe enough, it’s still going to feel like a plunge to just . . .go back to normal. The idea is dizzying.
And if instead of a vaccine we just have a steady slow decline, well at some point we WILL have to plunge. There’s got to be some sort of local incidence rate where it’s safe. No where near that now, of course.
I don’t have enough standing in the group for me to feel like I can ask them to wear masks just to accommodate me. They are well-informed and watch the news. I doubt if anything I say would persuade them. It’s this kind of thing:
Even though I’ve been in the group for 20 years (and several of them have been meeting longer), it’s not like a group of good friends. It’s more like a class that you’ve been in forever. I’m only friends with one person. Two others seem to have warm-ish feelings toward me. The other six (three of whom are quite close, and even travel together) regard me with some indifference. It won’t bother me to miss.
Nope, not time to relax your reasonable protective restrictions. I definitely would not go. Not a chance (in hell. Is it ok to say that?).
No, I would not consider that a risk worth taking. I don’t take risks even to go to the dentist, PT or my migraine Botox injections, all of which I need even more than normalcy.
This^^. There is so much of this. So much fudging and hedging goes on, as well as wishful thinking and magical thinking. Enormous amount of not taking it seriously, all kinds of justification and ‘but what about XXX? I really want to go’. Then they don’t tell you that they went to XXX gathering until you’ve been sitting on a porch with them for two hours.
If snacks and beverages are going to be happening, a whole lot of time is going to be spent with masks off. Inevitably, with a group of women my age, someone is going to need to say ‘the heck with it-I really need to go in and use your bathroom’. Then it all falls apart.
There is a long list of things I haven’t been doing, including book groups, going to stores, outdoor markets, because of all the not taking it seriously. I guess if you go and people start ignoring the safety agreement, you could stand up and leave, but that will be awkward and likely held against you for a long time. I would not take the chance of needing to do that.
Forgive all my crankiness. How about we set up a SDMB virtual book group? Take turns picking a book, once a month we figure out a way to ‘chat’ about it? I’m game. SDMB works well for me as quality social contact. High quality social contact. Of course, each of us would have to bring our own wine. I can do Zoom, I don’t know how to set one up though.
I appreciate all the support toward NOT going. It seems to me that last night when I expressed discomfort at the prospect of being around unmasked people, I was regarded with a bit of scorn. Maybe it was my imagination…
I think all this would take would be a post in Cafe Society. In fact a post there inquiring about whether the board has ever had a book discussion group would be a good first step. I seem to recall there might have been one at one time…
I don’t think Discourse has a chat function. Just a regular thread with posts would work fine IMHO.
Yes, I read it. I was thinking in terms of people who’d agreed to wear a mask but who would take it off to eat and sip, which could end up being a lot of the time, given how snacking and sipping is intermittent. That’s alI I meant.
I mentioned Zoom so we’d get to see others’ faces and animations . I miss people’s faces and all that non-verbal communication. People faces, talking. Miss those. I miss voices too.
I’ve met up with a group of 3 friends, outdoors and masked, a couple times. Both times I regretted it due to their badly fitting masks and/or inability to remain over 6ft apart. One of them lives with a family member who sees clients in person. I definitely wouldn’t do it with no masks.
What I expect is that, once a vaccine is announced, and assuming that some sort of triage protocol has been established to determine the order in which groups will have it available, then the coalition of the unwilling/low-risk are going to prematurely start screaming “OK we took all these precautions to protect the olds, now it’s over.”
When in fact it will take months to roll out.
So yeah, if you think you’ll be near the front of the line, now’s the time to step up your paranoia, lol, not let your guard down.
