Friend Group Dilemma: A good problem to have?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Background: I’m currently apart of a few friend groups that I’ve made over the course of my collegiate career. Because of this, I’m asking for some advice on making the right choice in this particular situation.

(To explain my situation, I’ll separate my friend groups into letters: A, B, C, D)

My situation: Group A has recently invited me to hang out with them at a hotel for the weekend, which is located within walking distance of my college. We plan on hanging out and drinking together to make up some lost time due to the virus prematurely ending our semester.

However, I also asked some of my other friends to hang out (groups B & C) before Group A invited me to hang out with them. I told both groups B & C about my initial idea of visiting them, and they both agreed to hang out during a random weekend of my choosing.

Even though I’m closer with Group A, I’m still good friends with groups B & C, despite me only knowing a few people out of their entire friend groups.

Furthermore, I also hung out with another friend group in the past (Group D) almost every weekend just to pregame at their place. After pregaming with them, I usually left their place in search of parties going on that evening, despite them not caring if stayed with them or left. They even let me crash at their place from time to time.

The connection to my situation: I’m not sure if Group A will be as understanding as Group D, but I’ll talk to them about this situation.

So, should I schedule another time to hang out with groups B & C, or should I ask Group A if they don’t mind me hanging out with my other friend groups during my initial visit with Group A?

On an extra note, I would only hang out with groups B & C for a couple of hours during the evening, after hanging out with Group A for a majority of the day.

Edit: Group A has never met Groups B or C, which means that they may not be willing to invite my friends from Group A if I were to ask Groups B or C to invite them.

2

I’m confused. Is this a current question? Are you hanging out with all these people without masks? Eating and drinking with them? Crowded together? Lots of space? Indoors? Outdoors?

For reference, I haven’t “hung out” with any friends in person since March, so you probably don’t want my perspective. I’m right now trying to talk some friends into “hanging out” with me on-line tomorrow evening, though.

3

Yes, these friend groups will be smaller groups with all indoor activities. We probably won’t wear masks because we are all aware of the rules and none of us have gotten sick, yet.

4

What rules are you aware of?

5

Strange, that’s the same reason I’m not planning to wear a seat belt this weekend. I haven’t been in a car accident yet, no reason to bother with safety at this point.

I just dipped out of a family gathering in a few weeks. I spend enough time around enough people already, the more I can limit my exposure the better.

Remember, if you catch it from one of your asymptomatic friends, and bring it back to school, college is going to get cancelled. Granted, I think it probably will anyway, but do you really want to be the Typhoid Mary responsible for it?

6

For comparison, here’s the complete list people I have had in-person interactions with since early March:

My husband and daughter, who live with me, indoors, unmasked, close
A couple of neighbors, outdoors, masked or unmasked, 15+ feet
My mom, outdoors, masked, 6 feet. Also, I took my mom to see her doctor once, and we stayed at opposite ends of the car, 6 feet apart at the hospital, and kept our masks on.
My sister and BIL, masked, outdoors, 8-15 feet.
My brother and SIL, masked, outdoors, 8-15 feet.
A two friends who came by to drop something off (separately) outdoors, masked, ~10-15 feet
A couple of grocery store clerks, indoors, masked, partitions
A couple of clerks at other stores, outdoors, masked, 6+ feet
A postal clerk, indoors, masked, briefly 3 feet
Two eye doctors, indoors, masked, close enough to peer into my eyes.
A medical assistant at each of those appointments, close enough to put drops in my eyes, but masked and keeping their face reasonably far from mine.
My mom’s doctor, indoors, masked, across the room.
My mom’s doctor’s assistant, indoors, masked, behind plexiglass
The security guy at the hospital, who made us put clean masks over the ones we came with, but stayed behind plexiglass and was, of course, masked.
A phlebotomist, masked, touched my arm, of course, but careful not to breathe closely.
The AC guy, indoors and out, masked, and briefly within 4 feet.

A couple of people I’ve talk to through the front door.

And that’s pretty much it. I attended three memorial services (for close family) via zoom. We celebrated Passover and my nephew’s birthday via Zoom. I meet my boss and my coworkers via Microsoft Teams. I’m trying to keep in touch with my friend groups via google hangouts, zoom, and discord.

So “hang out and drink with friends” just isn’t in my wheelhouse since covid.

7

I hope you’re aware people shed the virus before they get any symptoms. Every person there is endangering others outside the group as well.

I know you were hoping for advice about the OP, but my advice is stop having gatherings without masks.

8

And I would add wear the masks correctly, chose the masks well and have the gatherings outdoors with 6 foot distancing.

9

Stay home. All of you.

10

It’s funny what this discussion has turned into after the elaborate and rather convoluted situation depicted in the OP, but it all makes sense.

I can’t help noticing the clash between two worlds here. It’s like witnessing two galaxies passing through each other.

11

@panache45) @BippityBoppityBoo) @PlaceboTarget) @needscoffee) @nelliebly) @puzzlegal) @Joey_P)

I understand that Covid is still going on, but I just wanted some advice on my situation.

In other words: If Covid didn’t exist, then how should I handle this situation?

Furthermore, if my friends weren’t comfortable inviting me due to the virus, then I wouldn’t have posted this in the first place.

12

Of course you should hang out the group that matters to you most, probably group A in this case. :slight_smile:

13

I understand that you wanted advice on your situation, but you’re asking us to imagine COVID doesn’t exist, and it does, or that it doesn’t pose a threat to you and your friends, and it does. If your friends are comfortable in getting together, they’re being incredibly foolish, but you don’t have to be.

If you said, “My friends and I like to party in burning houses,” we’d all be telling you to stop. If you want to do the smart thing, the kind thing, the right thing, you won’t get together with them at all.

14

I would kill Group D on account of the tenuous social bonds.

15

Stick with the group that’s the least socially active, lowest interactions with others.

They’re the ones most likely to be still standing in a couple of months time.

And Good Luck!

16

No kidding.

It’s not in the virus forum, why did people think he cared about that?

This is basically a how-do-I-keep-everybody-happy-at-polygamy-Thanksgiving question, lol.

17

Yes, it doesn’t look like he cares about the pandemic- however, he’s asking people who do. That’s precisely why he’s getting responses like that. None of us just get to opt out (yeah, yeah, except you Kiwis, don’t rub it in).

If someone posted that they had a couple of gallons of old engine oil to get rid of, and asked if people thought it’d be more fun for him to pour it down a storm drain, into a creek or just directly into the ocean, he shouldn’t be surprised that people say that all of those are terrible options and he shouldn’t do any of them. Saying he doesn’t care about the environment wouldn’t then magically make it OK.

18

Nah, it’s what Placebo Target said - nobody understood the reason he was asking what he was asking.

He’s trying to calculate how to give the least number of people the opportunity to cancel him.

19

That’s like telling us you’re planning to get really, really drunk and then go skydiving. You can’t expect us to focus on the skydiving part and ignore the drunk driving part.

The virus doesn’t care if you understand the risks, it doesn’t care if you’re comfortable with it*. And, personally, I really don’t care if you catch it. What I care about is that you can spread it. And you can spread it to people that aren’t comfortable with it. Keep in mind, if one of the people in your group finds out a few days later that they have it, you’ll have to get tested. If you have it, think of all the people at you’re school you’ll infect.

Hanging out in groups is, literally, the reason why we’re still in the middle of this. The virus doesn’t care that you’re friends. It doesn’t care that you think this only happens to other people. It doesn’t care what anyone thinks or believes or tells themselves. All it wants to do is infect you.

20

But it does.