Everything in your note was legible and at least somewhat well phrased, except for one thing…
Goddammit, I don’t give a fuck if it is net slang, you
clusterfucked-in-the-head quibbledick, stop writing ‘u’ instead of ‘you’. And don’t even pretend to be intelligent by capitalizing it! It just makes you look fucking stupid!!
Shit piss fucking monkey nuts, you’re an idiot! AAGH!! It’s just so fucking annoying! I hate it!! AAAGH!
There, that feels better.
8.5
Cunt ass squirrel bitch, hell yes! Preach it!
You’d think it would work differently in the “professional” business world. Nope.
I get e-mails saying shit like “cld u pls. check this? thx.”
WHAT?? You inbred garden slug. WTF is that all about?? Speak the Queens English already. I do, and the bitch isn’t even MY Queen. 
For some reason, our office in Singapore seems to be the most affected by the Vowel Syndrome.
Not bad for a first attempt, I suppose.
Anyway, I failed to mention those spotted owl smegma-brained unclefuckers who follow most rules of grammar except for capitalizing the word (letter) “I”.
Taken together, the two little grammatical fuck-ups runs something like this.
“So i said told the Senator ‘u need help’ and Biffy the club president just screamed with laughter. U know what i mean, Mr. Ritzyfragglefucker?”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. Fuck you all in your fat bloated ignorant asses with the complete Oxford English Dictionary set in an oversized type face! Then set Tonya Harding on you with a metal straw, and have Lorena Bobbitt cut your accursed limp dicklet (I’m sure it doesn’t even match that of a 4 year old circus midget, hence the -let at the end) and baste it in marmalade and force it up your nostrils, you stupid waste of oxygen and natural resources!!
And have a nice day.
I often just write in complete all-lowercase except the ‘I’, because as you put it, doing so makes you look like you flunked out of first grade english.
this may be a pet peeve(god I hate that term), but almost NOTHING pisses me off more than your/you’re. when I see someone write something like “your a shithead” in their flames, I just laugh. it’s so sad, it’s pathetic.
they’re/their/there doesn’t piss me off as such, but still. whenever someone on the internet says “4 ur in4mashun, i m 38 yrs odl,” I crack up again. but your post reminds me that there might actually be 38 year-olds who spell like a 2 year old on crack cocaine. we make fun of Bush because he goofs up in his speaking, but the sad truth is, go on-line anywhere and you’ll find people who make Bush look like Webster.
I have always heard how functionally illiterate people are in general, but I never realized the depth and breadth of the problem until I started reading message boards. There are intelligent people everywhere who do not know the difference between ‘to’ and ‘too’! This is not a good thing.