I’m not going to do a song-by-song analysis; I just ate and want to keep lunch down. Suffice it to say that this year helps us understand one of the reasons upbeat styles like disco were able to become popular - an incredible number of pop songs from this era sound like dirges, even songs about happy subjects.
Exhibit A - “Lovin’ You”. Cheerful lyrics. The voice and music? Now I know what Conan/Arnold meant by “the lamentations of their women”. The whole country was sort of depressed around this time, and the music reflects it. Quaaludes were popular at this time, and studios must have had bowlfuls of them sitting around.
Other songs on this list with that downbeat sound: “Mandy”, “Laughter In the Rain”, “Best of My Love”, “Have You Never Been Mellow” (See? Quaaludes!), “Black Water”, “My Eyes Adored You”, “(Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” (at least with this song, it makes sense), “Before the Next Teardrop Falls” (ditto), “Sister Golden Hair”, “Listen To What the Man Said”, “One Of These Nights”, “Fallin’ in Love”, and “Rhinestone Cowboy”. Maybe this is why kids of this era later became the first goth music listeners.
Enough of that tangent - back to my opinions.
The year has two more of my most hated songs, the aforementioned “Lovin’ You”, and, with a song that many people on this list are picking as their favorite, “Black Water”. In each case, I find the song to have an unlistenable instrument featured. With “Lovin’ You” it’s Minnie’s voice; with “Black Water” it’s that (shudder) string arrangement. Both are like nails on a blackboard to me.
Virtually every other song on the list falls into the category of “meh”, so I’ll skip to the songs that, by dint of sucking less than the others, are contenders for me:
4th: The Average White Band - “Pick Up the Pieces”. There are very few years in which this completely OK song would make the top four, but for this year…
3rd: David Bowie - “Fame”. Honestly, this is one of my less favorite Bowie songs. But a bottom-of-the-barrel Bowie song is still third-best in a year where the list rocks less than bedtime in a nursing home.
2nd: Linda Ronstadt - “You’re No Good”. Again, a song with even a little bit of rock in it is better than almost all of the rest of these snoozers.
1st: The Ohio Players - “Fire”. This is the only song that would be likely to make even the top five in most years. Here, it’s the champion; a funky song that would be almost the only one you wouldn’t expect to hear in your dentist’s office.