That’s the exact reason I voted for “Billie Jean”. I hate Eddie Van Halen and the slick, antiseptic sound of his guitar.
Easy vote for me: Eurythmics.
I love that song, and, while I’m straight and married and all that, I’ve had a 31-year-long (yikes! has it been that long already?) girl crush on Annie Lennox in that video. So no contest here.
Easiest choice yet. “Billie Jean” is the perfect pop song and the highlight of Jackson’s career.
“Africa” is a hell of a silver medal winner, and “Every Breath You Take” a terrific bronze. This is the strongest year since the 1960s by far.
Great year - I even like the Billy Joel entry this time.
Essentially, I had to decide between “Down Under”, “Africa”, “Billie Jean”, “Come On Eileen”, “Beat It”, “Total Eclipse”, “Sweet Dreams”, and “Every Breath”… if I had to do it, NCAA Tourney fashion, it would come down like this:
Spring bracket: (1) “Billie Jean” vs. (4) “Africa”, (2) “Eileen” vs (3) “Down Under”
Fall bracket: (1) “Every Breath” vs. (4) “Beat It”, (2) “Total Eclipse” vs. (3) “Sweet Dreams”
In the Spring bracket, “Billie Jean” trounces “Africa”, not even breaking a sweat with all starters coming out by the end of the third quarter, while “Down Under” pulls off a surprising upset over the more catchy “Come On Eileen” due to the whole mid-80s era “Everything Australian is COOL” zeitgeist that swept the US. “Eileen” is a great song, but nobody came away saying “I want to be a poor-assed looking Englishman in ugly overalls!” At least, nobody I knew said that.
However, in the final, not even Paul Hogan and his “now, that’s a knife” attitude could beat Michael Jackson one-night-stand anger lament while dancing the moonwalk of shame.
In the Fall bracket, “Every Breath…” barely squeaks out an OT victory over “Beat It”, largely upon EBYT’s reputation as being the most misunderstood “love song” of its generation. Hell, they even played EBYT at my wedding. :rolleyes: Not even Eddie Van Halen’s ax work could bring “Beat It” over the top, though it was probably the most singular musical performance of the entire tournament.
An equally bitter contest erupted between “Total Eclipse” and “Sweet Dreams”, with TE finally taking the victory due to its complete and total domination of the “this is why the '80s were cheesy… and this is why the 80s were great” gameplay. While probably the better song, “Sweet Dreams”, being released in the Decade of the Music Video, could not hope to compete against… well, against these guys. Annie Lennox rode the 80s androgyny wave for all it was worth, but… my God, Bonnie Tyler’s hair was a 1980’s masterpiece in bigness. Better song, or crazier video? In this decade, video had to win. It killed the radio star after all, right?
The Fall Final ended up being a walkover, with “Total Eclipse” beating the holy hell (literally) out of Sting and his buds. The fact is: YOU CANNOT WIN A 1983 ELITE EIGHT TOURNAMENT BY STRUMMING A FREAKIN’ CELLO IN YOUR MUSIC VIDEO!
And I don’t care if it’s a bass viol or some other instrument… the principle still applies.
The final game in the tournament featured two 1980’s legends: MJ’s “Billie Jean” vs. Tyler’s “Total Eclipse”. Unfortunately, the championship game wasn’t the anticipated smashmouth contest we had hoped for, with “Billie Jean” winning because of the following incomparable advantages:
- The moonwalk. Not on the video itself, but during the Motown 25th anniversary show. I saw that live, and kiddies, I can tell you, that was a moment.
- This move here.
- Three of the biggest global cultural influences of the 1980s and '90s were African-American men with the initials “MJ”. I don’t know, but that means something.
- Tyler was spent with the two previous hard-fought matches, while MJ coasted through his bracket against two “I’m glad to be here” pretenders. You could tell by their voices - Tyler’s was cracked throughout her song, while Jackson’s was smooth as all hell.
- “Billie Jean” had a better bass line.
So, there it is… the 1983 Elite Eight Billboard #1 Tournament, brought to you by Swatch™.
This is 1983. 1980, 1981, and 1982 were still bad years. 
Also, they were terrible because when they play 80s music they don’t play just the music on this list, they play the rest of the crap that was 80s music. 
Funny, I thought that picking 1982’s winner would be headache-inducing and 1983’s easy but it’s the other way round. Let’s see.
Men At Work - Down Under. Fun but not enough to be in the running.
Toto - Africa. A very good song with a nice laid-back groove. Falls a little bit short, though.
Michael Jackson - *Billie Jean *. One of the top contenders. I could play that bass line for hours without getting bored.
Dexys Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen. Another fun song but I’ve recently grown slightly tired of it.
Michael Jackson - Beat It. Another Jackson single, another top contender. Great guitar riff and solo (of course).
David Bowie - Let’s Dance. I’m a big Bowie fan but I’ve never cared much for this song. It’s good but he’s done so much better. Yet, it’s the one that’s still in heavy rotation on oldies station. Weird.
The Police - Every Breath You Take. A great way to practice extensions on the guitar but I’m not fond of the song. Message in a Bottle is a better song that uses the same kind of hand-stretching madness.
Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This). The third top contender. A most excellent synth hook. I’ll never be able to make up my mind.
Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart. Epic chorus that feels like it’s never going to end while getting better as it goes along. Understated but effective piano work. Fourth top contender. Sigh…
OK. I’ll go with *Billie Jean *. First, because it was Michael Jackson’s year. Then, because he was the first pop singer about whom I really cared. I had a little cardboard folder with pictures and newspaper articles about him. So my vote is also a nod to my starry-eyed, 8 year old self.
I picked “Every Breath You Take” and, right now, I’m rather suprised at its poor showing in the poll. I thought it would battle it out for the top spot with “Billie Jean” and “Beat It” and instead it’s getting fewer votes than that bland mediocrity “Africa” and the hysterical “Total Eclipse of the Heart” which is a perfect example of a radio button-lunger.
Every Breath happened at Peak Police and at Peak MTV. With passage of years, the awareness that it really is a fucking creepy song, and Sting’s general douchiness, I think it has slipped a bit. Great video though - Godley and Creme…
Musically “Every Breath You Take” is fine, but I think its stalker-ish overtones, even if unintended, hurts its popularity.
I’m no fan of either of those songs, but “Every Breath You Take” isn’t exactly not bland.
Lest I be perceived as being one of those who only votes for songs made by white guys with guitars, I’m glad to be able to vote for an R&B song this year (albeit one in which a white guy plays a guitar solo!).
I had to go with “Beat It,” which, like at least some others, I prefer to “Billie Jean.” I’ll generally take energy over coolness.
“Sweet Dreams” is OK, but I far prefer Eurythmics’ subsequent hit “Here Comes the Rain Again,” an 80s song I can say without reservation that I really like. Of course, it didn’t make it to #1.
“Africa” was at least different. Don’t hate it by any means, but I’m generally opposed to slick studio musicians, preferring bands that are a bit more organic.
The Police song isn’t terrible either but has been played to death (not to mention so widely misinterpreted that it gets docked even if that’s not its fault).
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” is testimony to the fact that some will always go for over-the-top moves no matter what. I tend not to.
As usual most of the rest are non-entities at best or genuinely awful to me.
I believe NDP referred to “Africa” as being bland, not EBYT. And I think the double negative you used means that you think EBYT is bland. I think.
Now my head hurts… 
Well, I should ave just singled out “Africa”, I guess, but my point was EBYT is maybe a half-point behind the Toto song on the bland scale.
Oops, I think I had the 1982 poll on the brain when I said that.
I know that Eye of the Tiger did hit number one… but I do think there’s a lot that’s better from that era. 82 and 83 brought us some really good stuff from White Snake and Def Leppard, for example. Some people call that metal… either way, it’s more my taste, and most of it didn’t hit the pop music charts.
I would say the opposite. The stalkerish overtones are what make the song remotely listenable to me.
No worries but I think both bands would have their highest points later in the decade, Def Leopard would have a number 1 song in 1988. White Snake in 1987.
A fairly easy pick this time. After giving brief consideration to Toto’s “Africa”, It rather quickly came down to “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Always liked Bonnie Tyler, her ragged emotion-ridden wail is perfectly suited to the song. Also, that vaguely disturbing video was my introduction to a totally new (to me) phenomenon called MTV. (What can I say; cable TV was slow to arrive in the rural west, and I never was exactly in the vanguard of pop culture anyway). Fine song, good vid, and both seem to have held up well over the intervening years.
Alternate versions of these two songs that should probably be in the annoying commercials thread:
Don’t You Want Me:
Africa:Gonna have to go with the Jim Steinman tune – “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. But a lot of good (or at least memorable) music this year. Honorable Mentions to Men at Work, Bowie’s “Let’s Dance”, and probably the quintessential one-hit-wonder, “Come on Eileen”.
To put this year in historical perspective, music was just starting to be delivered on new-fangled things called “Compact Discs”. They were twice as expensive as LPs, but you didn’t have to flip them or clean them (much). The players werehella expensive in 1983. Still, the Sony Walkman tape player was still hanging tough and most people, when they wanted music, would go to Ye Olde Record store and flip through the LPs. Still, the writing was on the wall and the turntable had maybe three or four good years left to it in 1983.
Holy smoke, I’d forgotten how awesomely ridiculous (or ridiculously awesome) MTV was back in the day.