This threadreminded me of something I wanted to ask:
What’s the best Action Porn? You know, naked women, guns, sex, more naked women, explosions, car chases with naked women in the cars, etc.
Picasso Trigger is an old one I remember. Very soft core. It was one of a series of similar movies. Anything been done lately? Or better?
In Blue Steel, the big chase scene has Jamie Lee Curtis (a cop) in a running gunfight with a bad guy all over a city block, up and down fire escapes, etc. clad only in a man’s dress shirt. Which was a concession: as scripted, she was supposed to do it nekkid.
I really don’t think there has been anything else made that matches “Picasso Trigger,” Day of the Warrior," etc., Andy Sidaris’ big boobs and big guns movies.
That said, the CLOSEST I can think of to them, and it’s not close at all, is the “Busty Cops” series of softcore porn movies. (Only the first four on the list are part of the series). They have a lot more softcore sex and a LOT less action than the Sidaris movies, but they do have a similar vibe to the Sidaris flicks. Big breasted super cops working for a clandestine govt. agency go after various bad guys and bad organizations, same general theme. They’re just an order of magnitude or so less well done.
They’re popular late night softcore cable fare, if you have premium cable you can prolly catch them for free. Might be on Neflix, Amazon, etc., as well. I have no idea.
And on Amazon, you can get all 12 Andy Sidaris movies on DVD for $4.50 (work-safe amazon.com page).
Shoot 'em Up Nuff said.
Slavegirls From Beyond Infinity might be what you’re looking for. Big breasts, adventure story as two escaped slavegirls wind up being The Most Dangerous Game. You can watch it all for free on Youtube via the spoiler box link.
(There will be a few brief nude scenes edited out, but not much, most of it is barely PG fare. I spoiler boxed it because big breasted women in skimpy fur bikinis, while not naked, may not be safe for all workplaces.)
Machete? More 'splosions than boobs, and you get to see Lindsay Lohan naked, so that’s bad. But it’s far enough way and you get someone else’s boobs to look at in the same scene, so that’s good. But Jessica Alba remains always clothed, so that’s bad.
Or stuff like Spartacus. I am thinking action with nudity is better than porn with action. Those porn female cops always get overpowered by the criminals. And they have no trigger control!
The frogurt is also cursed
I haven’t watched it but there was a movie released in 2010 titled Nude Nuns With Big Guns. Unless the title is incredibly deceptive it sounds like an “action porn” movie.
Man, I hear ya.
If anime is acceptable, though, you might try the original Ghost in the Shell—the nudity is technically brief-ish, though the heroine is the one visiting head-bursting violence upon the bad guys. In some cases literally.
There was Miami Spice and I think a sequel as well, which had pretty hard core porn and chicks running around with guns and zooming up and down the coast on cigarette boats. We’re not talking about Oscar-worthy scripts or acting or special effects or stunts or lighting or…
Sin City
That is on Netflix streaming, and it is not that bad. Lots of nude nuns. Some carry really big guns and shoot up lots of bad guys. Fairly entertaining.
Edit to add: it ended with a clear setup for a sequel, but I haven’t found one yet.
I just watched this last weekend.
I was going to file it under the so bad it’s good file. But I guess it’ll work as ‘action porn’.
It’s got a WTF premise, just the right amount of cheesiness, bad acting, lots of blood and guts, plenty of boob action and surprisingly, excellent set/design locations.
The plot:
Basically, the bad guys piss off the wrong nun who in turn goes all Dirty Harry on their ass.
Crank and Crank 2. Pure idiotic awesomeness.
Action, sure. But did they have enough gratuitous nudity to make them action porn?
If you’re just looking for pure over-the-top action, I’d recommend The Raid. This is a 2011 Indonesian movie that’s 101 minutes long and only had five minutes of plot.
Some good stuff here guys. I saw most of the Sidaris movies, but it’s been a while. I’ve seen Busty Cops movies, not quite up to the same level. Nude Nuns with Big Guns sounds interesting.
I’d like to put Sin City in the action porn category, but it was too well done for the genre.
Thanks for pointing this one out. I saw about 20 minutes of this years ago and never knew what it was.
How do you know they are nuns if they are nude??
Just out of their habits.
Surely some of Russ Meyer’s stuff like Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! would qualify.
Well, there is a lot of sex in the second one, or at least one scene that makes it seem like a lot of sex. But I must have glossed over the naked ladies criteria in the OP.