Best Amazon entry ever

[Derleth]

It’s just on the edge of possibility they’re actually selling Uranium ore. But the reviews really make it:

Picked this up for use in one of my kid’s ‘diversity’ projects in school (Great Success!), and stuck the leftovers in the cabinet next to the baking soda.

Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you’re supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!

However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.

Big mistake!

Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!

Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.

And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..

I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.

And:

There once was a man named Klaproth
Who cooked up some pitchblende-y broth
This bright German fellow
Mixed cake that was yellow
And found something new in the froth

[snip]

But if science is your main ambition
Since Amazon gives you permission
Please cover your ass
If you want to tint glass
And you can’t tell your fusion from fission

But almost as good are the ‘Also Viewed’ items:

JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank by NAO Design
DH Classic Yellow Cake 12ct by Duncan Hines
Large Bag of Bones - 10 Pounds (BONES1) by Anatomical Chart Co

[Thudlow_Boink]

What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

27% buy
Arrested Development - The Complete Series (Seasons 1, 2, 3)

24% buy
The Tales of Beedle the Bard, Standard Edition

19% buy the item featured on this page:
Uranium Ore

[Tuckerfan]

United Nuclear sells uranium ore.

[chacoguy]

Criminy, Chacoguy gets flagged by Homeland Security again. :rolleyes:

[ultrafilter]

The bag of bones has one of the best reviews I’ve ever seen:

Not only was the final product terrible, but when I went to throw them away, one of the pointier ribs tore a hole through the bag, spilling tibulae and fibulae onto the sidewalk. This led to a very awkward conversation with my neighbor, and subsequently, the police. In short, I cannot recommend these bones, nor can I recommend Target store-brand trash bags (kitchen size).

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@ultrafilter

The bag of bones has one of the best reviews I’ve ever seen:

Tags customers associate with Bag of Bones:

amazon oddities (12)
hobos (2)
lindsay lohan (2)
bones (1)
debra messing (1)
soup (1)
vh1 (1)

Hee hee hee!

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

This cute model appears to have a practical use

I’d always been interested in acupuncture, specifically swine acupuncture. However, most of my initial forays into the field resulted in me being covered with feces and fleeing an enraged hog. You’d think that they’d understand that my prodding them with needles was for their own benefit, but I guess I didn’t communicate my intentions correctly. Anyhow, this product was a lifesaver! I was able to determine how and when to insert tiny needles into the hide of my favorite pig, and let me tell you, I was going about it all wrong! Trial and error is a vital teaching tool, but the stench of feces and slop buckets can cause undue strain in the best of marriages.

[Rigamarole]

How are they allowed to put fake items on Amazon?

[jk1245]

The all-time champ of Amazon reviews is Henry Raddick. Sadly, he seems to have given up on his efforts some time ago. Yes, I realize “he” is likely a group of people doing this for fun and/or profit, but still, it’s good.

The bizarre mix of products and book subjects he reviews are a touch of genius.

For the exercise tape *Claudia Schiffer: Perfectly Fit Arms *, his reivew is:

Though I didn’t follow the workout as stringently as Claudia would have wanted, I did indeed give my arm a vigorous workout using this tape.

For the book Putting the fun in fund raising:

As treasurer of a small obesity support group with charitable status I am always looking for ways to raise funds, and at times it’s a real drag. But this book really does put the “fun” back into fund raising. Financially we’re having the best year ever, and that’s not even counting this Autumn’s Butter-Chug, which should be good for £1000 after expenses.

For the book Pocket Massage for Stress Relief (Yoga for Living)

A tremendous book to help soothe and relax. I tried a little “pocket massage” on a train recently - it certainly relieved the stress, but do remember to chose your venue with care, especially if you are using essential oils.

Enough material for a whole day of reading

[wigwag]

This has appeared elsewhere recently but just in case you missed it…

http://www.amazon.com/Playmobil-3172-Security-Check-Point/dp/B0002CYTL2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1232642918&sr=1-1

The reviews are great and so are the tags…

[Furious_Marmot]

@wigwag

This has appeared elsewhere recently but just in case you missed it…

http://www.amazon.com/Playmobil-3172-Security-Check-Point/dp/B0002CYTL2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1232642918&sr=1-1

The reviews are great and so are the tags…

Holy crap. And for that exra bit of surreality, the product page has a link to Amazon’s ‘fascism community’.

[Who_me_1]

While the toy Nimbus 2000 is no longer sold, the comments live on.

World Class Marketing and Consumer Insights | Prodege

[gotpasswords]

[QUOTE=Rigamarole]
How are they allowed to put fake items on Amazon?
[/QUOTE]
I don’t believe either the uranium nor the bones are fake. Just very, very unusual.

I was amused that gift wrap was available for the bones. A perfect birthday gift for someone heading off to med school.

[Ol_Gaffer]

Hey, thanks for that link jk1245! I’ve been trying to remember Henry’s name for years (I think that I actually found him through someone’s link her on the SD a couple of years ago). His reviews are especially great if you read them through sequentially because of he intersperses a couple of meta-themes throughout the reviews, particularly his battles with his kids and the dogs as well as his wife’s struggles with her weight. Fantastic stuff.

[schnuckiputzi]

Oh my. Apparently all these years of purchasing from Amazon, and I’ve never run across any of these thingies. Must get my nose out of a book more often. The bag of bones does intrigue me, as I teach an anatomy class…

[myskepticsight]

Wtf is up with this one?

Amazon.com: Cisco USB Flash Drive - 256 MB (MEMUSB-256FT=) : Electronics

If you go to the link in the OP, go to the tags area and look at all the Amazon oddities. Lots are fake looking or unavailable, but some are still for sale. Like the black toilet paper.