I posted a thread approx. a week ago and got quite flamed for it - about not wanting a loved one’s remains (a close family member who died last month) to decompose too quickly after burial.
I know some people can’t understand why, but please just humour me as it helps me to cope with the death.
We have now thankfully switched from burial in the ground to a mausoleum instead. I now need to buy the coffin or casket.
Any idea which would be best for a mausoleum burial (i.e. an above ground vault), to help achieve my goal? A zinc-lined wooden coffin? Or sealed metal casket?
Why are you not asking, y’know, a funeral director? This is literally their day job, it’s what they do. They deal with dead people and caskets and burial and funerals and grieving people all day long, they get licenses and study for tests to know every little thing about what to do with dead people. Why not set an appointment and figure it out with a professional?
I’m very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is when a person you love dies. But I have to say SmartAleq is correct. It was the first thing I thought of too.
I don’t know if the OP has indeed checked with funeral directors, but it strikes me that buying a funeral and associated hardware is like buying a car. A car salesman is going to squeeze the customer out of as much as he can. Funeral salesmen probably get fewer complaints, though.
All of that is true, and one of the most predatory things the funeral directors do is imply that the higher end containers will somehow preserve the remains, which is exactly what the OP is asking for, and has been told that it’s a pointless battle against entropy, but is still looking for some kind of reassurance. I was in one of the previous threads, and don’t remember any flaming, just people advising that preserving the remains was impossible. I do remember pointing out that Costco had some very reasonably priced caskets, but that I had opted for cremation.
In any state I’ve lived in the laws allowed people to supply their own casket to save the funeral director markup. I don’t know if that’s true in all jurisdictions. If I hadn’t chosen cremation I’d prefer a more natural burial, without a coffin and a quick return to the earth rather than being pent up in a closed box with the associated gases and anaerobic rot, but it would be a funny world if we all wanted the same things.
The deathcare industry can be incredibly exploitative, no doubt. But things are changing and the internet can be a good resource. Mortician Caitlin Doughty, for example, has spent a lot of time and energy bringing deathcare practices into the light for people to make their own minds up about. I highly recommend the OP send an afternoon looking through her back catalog, if only for his own edification.
There is no coffin that will achieve the OPs goal of preservation. The second law of thermodynamics will not be denied. Decomposition can be slowed through chemical means such as embalming, or physical means such as refrigeration. But the body will eventually rot. Best case scenario is mummification which isn’t going to happen in the consumer space, at least in America, unless you write a pretty big check to these guys. So you’d have to rely on nature which means somewhere hot and dry, cold and dry or a peat bog or swamp where the body can rest undisturbed for ages. But a mummified body will not look like the person is ‘sleeping’. They will be leathery, taut and discolored.
I am truly sorry for the OP, but what they are looking for is not something that is going to happen and anyone who promises them that is lying.
What about cryogenic preservation? I know that a number of wealthy people have done that in the hope of a future scientific breakthrough of reanimating them.
I think that the costs have come down significantly in recent years, for somewhere between, $28k and $35k, for a whole body preservation. I don’t know if that get’s you your own pod, or if you’re stacked like frozen cord wood, in a large freezer.
If you’re on a budget, you might contact the city of Nederland, CO. They currently are storing an old Dutch dead guy in a shed, where it stays sufficiently cold year round. They have a festival annually (Old Dead Guy Days), in honor of this guy.
According to the OP this is someone who’s already been dead a MONTH. Cryogenic company isn’t going to touch a month dead body no how no way. I’m curious as to why the OP is still asking these questions because I’m assuming that the funeral has already been held–unless the body is already in a deep freeze somewhere (hopefully NOT in the basement!) awaiting final disposition of the remains. Absent a month frozen, that body is already well into decomposition and every answer to this question is about 100% moot.
OP, seriously, just give it up. Your loved one is dead, the body is no longer inhabited and the only thing to do at this point is to recognize that the physical shell is not important once the person has left it. Trying to stave off the inevitable is a quick road to being totally nuts and that’s not going to help you or anyone else.
I don’t remember flaming. I remember disagreement. I remember discusssion of burial in a normal coffin and one with an airtight seal. But, I don’t remember flaming.
I also remember the member whose dad is a funeral director offering to put you in touch.
I don’t mean to be unkind, but this series of threads has been like an object lesson in asking the wrong question. I’ve heard this described as the X-Y problem - and I encounter it a lot in my day job (IT).
The customer wants solution Y, and is adamant that solution Y must be delivered. But solution Y doesn’t make sense, or simply isn’t possible. No amount of discussion seems to persuade the customer to waver from the position that solution Y must be delivered.
Often, the customer will become agitated and will perceive the questions or objections as personal attacks.
Usually, there is an undisclosed problem (X) that is where the conversation should really have begun - asking open questions about problem X, not closed questions about solution Y.
I get that this is a very sensitive issue and as I say, I don’t mean to be unkind, but I think the actual solution here will come from a more earnest look at the actual problem. This might not seem like the right time to do that, but banging away at the wrong solution isn’t helping either.