Austin, Texas, home of the University of Texas, is about as close to a California-type atmosphere as you’ll find east of the Rockies. It has a big “hippie hold-over” population, lots of coffee shops, a jumping music scene, plus a growing high-tech industry base.
Another option might be the Boulder, Colorado area. I’ve never been there personally, but I have heard that the attitude and lifestyle is very much like what you are used to in California.
One thing to look out for in a college town. I live in one, and although it does have all the perks you talk about (to SOME extent…this is the only college town I’ve ever seen that can’t seem to supposrt a single decent game or comic book store) there’s a big downside.
The local employers here have figured out that there’s a nigh-endless supply of students, failed students, unemployed graduated students, and partners of students to be had. Consequently, most employers have no problem treating employees like shit because hey, if you don’t like it, there’s the door, and please send in the next guy.
State College, PA
Penn State is the ENTIRE town. It is a great place!
I lived in Boulder for a while. Nice town, nice scenery, good transportation system. Not much in the way of jobs, though. Although that may have changed in the last 22 years.
Ann Arbor, Boulder, and Madison would be at the top of my list. Especially Ann Arbor, I loved living there.
Newark, Delaware. University of Delaware. Town doubles in size when the students are here. Very quiet summers, but bustling the rest of the year. http://newark.de.us/
Yeah, Delaware. (DelaWhere?)
You want small town, this is small town, in a small small state. Always running into people you know in the oddest places, but not in each other’s pockets, or peeking in your windows, either! Not hicksville by any stretch, but not large at all. Great small urban center, not suburban, not big city. Strangers offer to watch one kid for you if you have to take the other to the bathroom, and you will actually consider it!
Parades, where the senators and congressperson (we’ve only got one) show up in person. And they usually parade on foot. And they answer your calls, and individuals can and do make a difference in how the laws are written and enacted locally. Strong tradition of electing the best person for the job, not by strict party lines (we don’t even elect the Lt. Governor as a ‘running mate’ of the Governor!).
Near everything, since we’re halfway between NYC and Washington DC. And only an hour to Philly. Plus plenty to do right here. Beaches nearby, wilderness nearby, and mountains not TOO far away. World class museums, theater, and public gardens.
Family events, many small parks, great neighborhoods.
Public schools vary in quality, but private schools abound and are superior. Check the schools out before you choose your neighborhood.
Volunteer fire company. Tri-State Bird Rescue. Many good causes local and easy to get involved with.
Mixed race couples and kids are very common. Multi-ethnic, and multinational. My son’s class includes kids of Turkish, Korean, Indian, German, British, French, and African-american backgrounds. Heck there are only four blondes in his class at all, and one is German.
No sales tax. 
Low property taxes.
Decent job market, even in current hard times.
We live near campus. Walk to the Main Street, which has everything from very good Morroccan food to pizza to fast food. Walk to the movie theater, which does Indie movies as well as mass market. Walk to the book store, the bank, the pharmacy. Walk to the professional theater training program shows, if we want. Ride bikes and take walks on campus. Thriving art community.
Large college, with a lot of diversity in programs and population. Many religions represented in town or nearby.
I find very few downsides to living here. I personally love raising kids in a small town, being able to take them for walks around town, running into people we know as we go, but not feeling isolated or behind the times.
When I dated an African-American in high school, it was a fairly big deal, but not unique. By college, I was seeing scatterings of mixed-race couples around. By grad school, I was seeing mixed-race families around. Now, I no longer notice. I think we’ve passed the threshold where there is comment about it in this community.
Good luck picking. I highly recommend this town - you get the benefits of nearby big big urban centers when you want to see something of that level, but you don’t have to live there.
Hmm. I grew up in Ft. Collins, CO (CSU). That’s another one, different in feel than Boulder, but also very nice. Liked growing up there, but no idea how much it has changed since then.
I’ll second Burlington, VT. All the things whatmove said, plus more. It’s gorgeous, clean, relatively near Boston and Montreal, there is a huge music/art/culture scene there as well. As far as outdoors-type things, we’ve got the largest freshwater lake in the states after the Great Lakes, many many mountains (they ain’t the Rockies by a long shot, but nice none the less), plenty of green, beautiful foliage.
You mention Ithaca, and I imagine that Burlintgon and Ithaca share many of the same benefits. The politics and economics of the areas are the main differences (as well as what cities each is close to. I think Ithaca and Burlington are about equidistant to NYC).
Yay Burlington. Plus, we could use a few more dopers up here!
Oh, also, I know that Burlington was ranked a few years ago the #1 best place to raise a family by some magazine or other. Great school systems in the area (some not so good, but you can ask someone who knows 
who can stear you away from them), and lots of music/arts/sports/other programs available for kids.
Boulder has many jobs now, but has become expensive… living just outside Boulder (or in North Boulder) is more affordable, but varies widely in quality. I still recommend it, and if you do consider it seriously, feel free to be get in touch with me via email and I can advise as to which parts of town are currently affordable and nice.
Boulder is incredibly kid friendly, with many parks, family-friendly events, and generally nice people. The college kids are used to the elementary school set and most behave appropriately. There’s an elementary school within walking distance of campus, and the wee ones often come over on nice days to eat lunch in the fields.
All of my friends who grew up in Boulder loved it, and one of the advantages to the school system is that you can choose to attend any public school in Boulder County. This is a large advantage when seeking affordable living. Also, they’ve put a lot of work into the public transit system, and it actually works.
Boulder also has a good number of cultural events, like the International Film Series. It’s also quite liberal, but almost to a fault. There’s a small, but noticeable, number of people that are so terrified of offending you that it is quite probably impossible to actually communicate with them. That’s the biggest drawback I can think of, having lived there off and on since 1997.
I don’t know as much about Ft. Collins, having never lived there. It’s a bit quieter, but doesn’t offer as much, as it’s more difficult to make a trip to Denver for anything that you might want to do there. Most people who have moved there have told me that outside of CSU it’s quite difficult to get to know anyone. YMMV.
I loved Evanston, IL. Stayed there for years after I was graduated. Plus the Chicago area is more or less Ground Zero for all things Straight Dope, don’t you think?
Hey, Twiddle, come on down!
<---- Note my location 
Well, I’m here in Bloomington, Indiana, home of Indiana University. It’s a fairly small town, I think it about doubles in size when the students are here.
Seems like the students stay pretty much on campus and right downtown while the townies stay pretty much in the residential areas and the shopping centers on either side of town.
Shopping:
There’s the east end, down town, and the west end.
The east end contains the mall (decent sized mall, too…), along with a Hobby Lobby, Target, Kroger, Circuit City and various other small shops and eateries.
Downtown runs from campus down Kirkwood, then radiates out from Fountain Square. This contains many small businesses. Two of my favorites are ‘The Game Preserve,’ a gaming shop, and ‘The Latest Glaze,’ where you paint pottery and they glaze and fire it for you. Really cool stuff.
The west end is a big strip mall with an old navy and I think a home depot-y type place, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
All over the place you can find local restaurants. Whether you’re in the mood for a quirky cafe like Soma or a contemporary healthy but mouth-watering meal at Brave New Deli, you can always satisfy your craving in Bloomington. Heck, the doughshack will deliver a piping hot calzone to your door until 4 AM.
Don’t worry, all this stuff is spread out fairly well, and there’s a lot of residential area around. It isn’t nearly as cluttered and busy as I’m making it sound.
FORWARD!
IU provides an amazing opportunity even for those who aren’t students. We bring tons of high-quality performances to campus every year. Some that we’ve had or will have that I can recall off the top of my head: Saturday Night Fever, Kenny Rogers, the Temptations, Jimmy Fallon, BLAST!, Bring in 'Da Noise Bring in 'Da Funk.
I think you get my meaning. Also performances by students are top-quality, as IU is one of the country’s top music schools. Our opera program is one of the finest college programs anywhere, and this year they’re performing the Tales of Hoffmann, Sweeny Todd, West Side Story, and more. School of Music students and faculty have performances, concerts and recitals almost nightly (really!), so there’s never a shortage of things to do.
The campus itself, and the surrounding area is one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen (and I’m from near here…). The university has really dedicated itself to keeping the campus looking great. Preserving trees and greenspace. Off campus, there’s a state park only a few minutes drive north, and beautiful Brown County and their annual Covered Bridge Festival.
Looking to get away to a big city for a weekend, or even just a day trip? Indianapolis is about an hour away. Indianapolis has a great music scene as well, noted for its annual jazz festival. Rounded out with great shopping at the Circle Center Mall and nearby Greenwood, Indiana, and tasteful cuisine at restaurants like the Old Spaghetti Factory and the Hard Rock Cafe, the Indianapolis area is one of America’s overlooked but underappreciated big cities.
[sub]note: I wrote all this myself. I don’t work for any of the places mentioned. It was fun sounding like a tourguide/advertisement.[/sub]
Missoula, Montana is nice; it’s not all that diverse (although certainly more so than most of the rest of Montana), but pretty liberal and tolerant. Compared to the Bay Area, it’s cheap, although housing and groceries cost more here than in other comparable towns. More outdoor recreation than you can shake a stick at. Jobs are tough, though.
And I love Austin, although it’s not exactly a small town. Really great place, though.
To begin with I am a hokie. I lived in the Montgomery Co area for many years before attending Virginia Tech. My vote is for Blacksburg Virginia. I spent two Summers at the University of Virginia (Charlottesville) and found that there was too much Charlottesville in comparison to the university and that the driving and parking conditions were horrible. Blacksbug has certainly lost the isolated town in the mountains that I loved in the 70’s, but virtually all you desire is within walking distance. One problem is the weather – frequently overcast and cold and windy in the winter. I was there in '85 ten miles away from Mountain Lake which experienced the coldest recorded temperature in the Commonwealth (-30 degF).
As a Pitt alum, I can tell you that State College, PA is hell on earth. You can trust me.
Out of the ones mentioned here that I’m familar with(Boulder, Ann Arbor, and Fort Collins.) Ft. Collins is the best in my opinion. Boulder is just too political to enjoy living there. It’s kind of an angry town with people looking for reasons to be offended. Houses in Boulder are ungodly expensive as well. Ann Arbor is better, but I hate midwestern weather. Not seeing the sun for 6 months of the year sucks, and no mountains to ski or camp on sucks.
Ft. Collins is more of a fun, young active town. People are very friendly and outgoing, but will be more than happy to just leave you alone if you want. It’s about an hour drive to Denver, which is considered right around the corner in Colorado. The Colorado cities have much milder winters than Ann Arbor, and less humid stiffling summers as well.
On the downside for Ft. Collins is that it is probably the least diverse of three(Boulder only slightly more diverse). It’s not intollerant or anything, just that the vast majority of people there are Northen European types, along with a significant Hispanic Community. Anyone else will be in a fairly small minority
Corvallis, Oregon is where I got my bachelor’s and it’s a great town. About 10 miles off I-5, population around 50,000 without students, mild winters, gorgeous summers, one hour to the coast, two hours to the mountains, and Portland is an easy daytrip. The atmosphere is for the most part very tolerant and open-minded. Great coffee shops, good bars, wine country, lots of nearby recreation opportunities, etc, etc. The only downside is that winters tend to be pretty gray.
Its not so much that it gets cold (last 2 winters havent been that bad) its that the weather is extremly eratic. Some winter days would start out sunny and nice up in the 70s. People would be outside taking advantage of it, then an hour later a blizzard would hit, then it would be sunny again by dinner time.
And looking at the OP, there is some hickitude around B-burg, but the area is not necesarilly conservative (democratic congressman works heavily with ACLU). Even balance, Id say. (More conservative then youre average school though) Pretty much everyone that lives in b-burg depends on the school. The school is the heart of bburg. Downtown might as well be an offshoot of the campus. Thats exactly what I loved about bburg vs charlottesville or the other college towns in the state.
I’m from the Bay Area, too, and I love living here in Ann Arbor. It’s not the world’s cheapest place, but it is a lot cheaper than back home (I went to UC Santa Cruz, too - nothing like being a poor student in the least affordable town in the country). I’ve lived here for five months now.
I’ll check back with y’all in January on whether I still like it or not.
I’m surprised no-one has yet mentioned Northampton, MA and the surrounding towns. I went to college in the Pioneer Valley (yes, they really call it that), and it is a beautiful area. Everything from quintessential-New England town greens to national and international performers, artists and lecturers. Heck, Pearl Jam once played at UMass the same week an opera company was in town.
And you and your husband would blend in thoroughly. No-one would give you a second look as you walked down the street. Additional bonus, there’s a free bus system from Noho through Hadley to Amherst and down to South Hadley to link the Five Colleges together.
The Berkshires, with Tanglewood and Jacob’s Pillow are very close, as well.
Evaluated on whatmove’s checklist:
Liberal…Very
Small town…check
College town…check
Affordable…check
Big lake…No, but the Connecticut River runs through the area
Mountains…check
Great place to raise kids…check +
Closest big cities…Springfield, Hartford, Burlington, Boston, and Albany are all easy drives
Downsides, well, lessee. You got your standard town/gown tension. Winter can be tough, but easier than Ithaca. The economy of Western Mass. is essentially all service-based, all the manufacturing is basically gone (but I’m guessing that’s not a problem for you, if you are looking for college towns as a preference).
I’m sure geobabe can add more.