I can’t believe nobody has mentioned any of the transposed mouths on faces of famous people. There are so many good moments:
Right after Bill Clinton was impeached, they were going to bring the TV out and have him speak to the audience. Instead, the TV was on the ceiling and Clinton was refusing to come down, saying he’d stay there the rest of his term. Hi-larious.
During the Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primary when every weirdo was running they had some good moments. Steve Forbes went, “Conan, I’m the only candidate who’ll let you burn cigars on his face.” Conan did just this and later threw acid on him. Bush brought out a Vietnamese guy talking about what a pansy McCain was in the POW camp. McCain showed up and Bush got so angry he snorted him up his nose.
They had a mock debate between Al Gore and Bill Bradley, and it denigrated into them calling eachother “poopface” and “doodyhead.” Then, the real Bill Bradley then stormed onstage, grabbed a remote, and turned the television off. He then stormed offstage.
Right after his deposition, Conan “interviewed” Vernon Jordan. Jordan said, “I answered each question truthfull-ay, responsibl-ay, and honestl-ay.” Sensing the audience was loving this, he said, “Afterward, I ordered a fish fil-ay.” and pandemonium ensued.
As others have mentioned … when Andy was on the Weather Channel was priceless …
Also, when they did the talk show parody about Andy dressing too sexy. You’re just jealous of my body!!
Another favorite was their New Years Eve special in 1999 and they had the guy go to the central time zone so they could celebrate it on time. The guy turned out to be still in the eastern time zone and had to hijack a car to get to the central time zone in time. It was hilarious! Wine me, Dine me, NINETY-NINE ME!
I would have to say my top favorite Conan moments would have to be (in no particular order):
In the year 2000 “M.C. Hammer will be arrested for stealing a bike.”
The character orgy. All the character from their show are having an orgy and Andy comes in unbuttoning his shirt saying “What have we hereee?” in a real porn star voice and the he joins in.
The Amish stripping channel. I laughed my ass off.
Masturbating bear.
Max’s “The More You Know” bit. He’s laying there all cool looking and he says: “This Thanksgiving, while you’re in your warm house eating turkey dinner, take a moment to think about the cold, starving people who are working hard on the streets. Hookers. Go get 'em.”
Those are briliant. Max’s are always so blunt. My favorite was where Max looks into the camera and says “Condoms. I don’t like 'em and you’re not gonna make me wear one. You have a problem with that?” Cue the shooting star graphic and lilting piano jingle.
All of the scenes with Mr. T chuckling–most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard.
In the Year 2000…with Sting.
(paraphrased–don’t kill me if it’s wrong)
Conan: In the Year 2000, it is revealed that Sting has tantric sex for 6 hours with his wife.
Sting: In the Year 2000, it is revealed that Conan has tantric sex for six hours…with himself.
Maybe you had to be there, but it killed me.
I forgot the one where Conan goes to a Teen Beat type magazine to get his boy-band makeover. They have him taking pictures with his shirt off and a kitten. First he kisses the kitten, and then he gives the camera a sexy look while he puts the kitten under his armpit.
Also:
– Superman won’t stop touching himself!
– “Aren’t you supposed to be my good conscience?” “No, Conan. I’m your bear. Raaarrr.”
– The “bobbing for salmon” game, where the guy in the audience assumes that they’re picking him as a contestant instead of the giant bear sitting right behind him.
“They say prostitution is a victimless crime. Well if that’s true, then where’s my wallet?” [approaches camera, menacingly] “Huh? YOU GOT MY WALLET, BITCH??” [shooting star, music]
The funniest moment ever, for me, was the staring contest Conan had with Charlie Sheen. One of the ways to distract him was a creepy-looking guy come out in a trenchoat, and open it, flasher-style – revealing him to be naked with a photo of Martin Sheen’s face over the groin.
There was also a few days where they had one a new original character, ‘Protected from Three Inch Bees Man’. He was an older Asian guy with a big wire hat on with big (but not quite three inch) holes in it, and they had some plush three inch bees on strings above him that he would perilously bat his head into. I think part of the reason it was funny was the theme song, which of course I can’t do justice to.
The Masturbating Bear’s appearence in a presidential debate. He was wearing a suit, flanked by secret service agents and was trying to respond to a question about farm subsidies, when he knocked the podium over and began seeing to himself and his saggy diapar, presidential style! I love Conan…
Forgive me if I don’t have the points perfect - it’s been awhile…
Conan and Andy get into a fight, and ‘take it into the other room.’
When they get there, they can’t fight because Gandhi is sitting there. Gandhi gets pissed off, and the three of them ‘take it into the other room.’
Unfortunately, Mother Teresa is in THAT room, so they can’t fight in front of her. She gets mad, and wants to take on the three of them (Conan, Andy and Gandhi), again they ‘take it into the other room’…
…where Barney the Dinosaur awaits. He tells them that it’s wrong to fight. and that everyone has their good points. “Even Hitler,” he says, holding up a picture of Adolph.
Whereupon Conan, Andy, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa procede to beat the crap out of Barney.
God, I love Conan. I wish I started this thread. Anyway, a few of my faves:
Conans Oscar party
(Max shows his shirt with a picture of oscar the grouch on it)
I laughed and pretended to think it was funny. Joel said it was stupid. Max explained that its Oscar, like the Oscar awards. Joel says I get it but its a stupid joke. So Max kicked him in the genitals. But Joel showed us he was ok because he doesn’t have any genitals (cuts to pic of joel with his pants down and theres nothing there shiver)
Then Max and I stared in horror for 45 minutes.
I think it was a football party and conan was showing pictures. They go to Max’s apartment and find a big stack of something called “Booty Lube”. That was hilarious.
I’ve got to think of some more. I’ll be back
Wearia
