Best lede of 2014 contest

This sort of belongs in the skiing-is-dangerous thread, but I thought I’d start a whole new topic. Feel free to share additional entries.

From The Independent, just a few minutes ago:

“The new German coalition’s plans to hit the ground running in the new year were dealt an unforeseen blow on Monday with news that Chancellor Angela Merkel had fractured her pelvis in a skiing accident[.]”

That’s positively SNL-worthy.

I’ve seen her hips. I’d hate to have been the tree.

“Walmart Recalls: Donkey Meat and Collapsing Table and Chairs” is pretty hard to beat and would have been unbeatable if the AP had gone with Spiderman’s “Your ass tastes foxy” although technically Walmart’s ass tastes foxy. The only problem is that they address the collapsing chairs first so the tainted ass doesn’t appear until paragraph two :frowning:

This seems relevant:

**Hell Freezes Over, Headline Writers Rejoice