I can’t think of good put-downs. I tell myself it’s because I can’t be bothered to put that much effort into thinking about someone I despise.
But it’s really because I just can’t think of anything.
The Dorothy Parker “pearls before swine” line has been discredited. It’s not her style.
Some things she did say:
When informed that an actress was always kind to her inferiors: And where does she find them?
“Lady so-and-so knows 18 languages. And she can’t say “no” in any of them.”
I thought it looked familiar. It’s known as The flame to end all flames.
I trust that you will bookmark the site, and in future give proper attribution? :dubious:
Thanks for the link. But the Usenet group I got it from wasn’t about computers, and it wasn’t in response to “a legitamate question concering setting up a computer with huge amounts of memory and swap space.”
It was towards the end of a long standing feud between two astrophysics geeks. So, if this Guy Macon is the author, my attribution would have been wrong anyway.
I just googled him, found his website, then this:
Here is my favorite:
“I’m sure whatever it is you have has a long, Latin sounding name.”
I kinda liked that line, delivered by Harvey Keitel as The Wolf, in Pulp Fiction:
“Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”
Sort of a warning against overconfidence, I suppose.
Supposedly this was an exchange between composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and…someone else.
“Why do people take an instant dislike to me?”
“It saves time.”
Then there was Roger Ebert’s put-down of Vincent Gallo, director of The Brown Bunny, which Ebert saw at the Cannes Film Festival and made some very disparaging remarks about. Gallo insulted Ebert for being fat, and Ebert replied:
“It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny.”
/Forbidden Broadway, to the tune of “Memory.”
Hate me
People instantly hate me.
Alan Lerner once told me.
It’s because it saves time.
The story’s been told about other people.
Someone once insisted that author Issac Asimov was someone else, and he finally said “No, I’m Truman Capote.” To which the person replied “Mr. Capote. I never would have recognized you. You look so much more masculine on television.”
I’ve had that one cued up and waiting for years…
Ouch. Freakin’ ouch.
Very good. 
I originally saw it on Jerry Pournelle’s website, and Jerry gave the link I provided. As an author, you can understand that he would be rather stiff about a creator’s rights. I suspect that he didn’t know about Macon’s website, or that it didn’t say that then (several years ago).
From a couple of high school boys in our sophmore year to a (supposedly) quite premiscuous older female classmate who’d just turned them down (guess they thought she was a “sure bet” and how dare she!!) for a tandem date…
First idiot: Right. You been with so many men, the next one’d have to tie a board across his butt to keep from falling in.
Second idiot: That’s it man. You got so much room, a guy could throw a pound of butter in there and never grease the sides.
I think her retort ran along the lines “Of, well, at least I’m getting laid by someone other than myself.” But it’s been a while. (Not nearly as good. However, they took the desired hit and she just flounced away, outwardly unscathed.)
Cabaret also had a great comeback line for my 13 year old self…
He: Screw Maximillian!
She: I did!
He: So did I!
God how I loved that and it still makes me crack up to this day. Liza’s reaction was priceless.
(And an aside; I’m a Dorothy Parker fanatic. Did anyone see the movie and what did y’all think of JJL’s performance?)
aide: The Premier is a very modest man.
EG Whitlam: Well he does have a great deal to be modest about.
From the Nanny, with Fran Drescher’s then-husband Peter Marc Jacobson playing Romeo. The conversation is about how Fran with her horrible acting ability got the part of Juliet in a play:
Romeo: She must have slept with the director.
Actress: I slept with the director and all I got was a two line part.
Romeo: I got Romeo.
Maybe you had to see it.