Best Review of a Toilet, ever

[Voyager]

From the Thursday New York Times - a review of a $6400 toilet.
Just one small piece

Walk up to the Numi, and location sensors will detect your presence and cause the toilet’s lid to rise, revealing the rectangular-on-the-outside, round-where-it-counts seat. If you are a man standing in front of the toilet, you will notice a blue beam of light projected on the right-side floor, adjacent to the toilet. Place your foot in the path of that beam and the toilet seat will rise; break the beam again and the toilet will flush and the seat will lower itself.

Yes, it plays music. Yes, it has a remote control. Yes it glows in the dark.
And best of all - I write a column once on how you have to reboot everything these days, inspired by a guy coming to a hotel room I was in to reboot the TV. I discovered a colleague who had a picture frame that she often had to reboot. I thought that this was the ultimate, but I was wrong. Yes, the reviewer had to reboot his toilet.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

64 hundred bucks and you still have to clean the bastard.

[Sunspace]

6400 bucks? You have the help clean the toilet.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

For that price, Sunspace, you’d expect it to clean itself.

[Paul_in_Qatar]

For that price, I would expect it to clean myself.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

“… it can wash and dry its user (there are modes for women and men). Both functions are accomplished via a wand that extends from under the seat that can spray water or blow air. Pressure and temperature are adjustable, as is the spray pattern, which can go from a steady blast to an oscillating pattern that can only be described as invigorating.”

I’d say your expectations have been met, Paul in Qatar…

[tdn]

For that price, I’d expect it to clean my entire house.

[RickJay]

For $6400, I don’t even want it to be a toilet. I want a Star Trek-style transporter that simply beams the pee and crap right out of my bladder and bowels, sending them directly into the sewer system, and all I have to do to make it happen is yell out “Make it so, Number One/Number Two” as my needs dictate.

[lieu]

Price aside, I’m not sure I really even want an invigorated bunghole.

[Zsofia]

Have you guys seen the commercial for this thing? It was one of those “watch one long commercial or we’ll interrupt your Daily Show a few times” things on Hulu. I about died laughing - it took ages for me to figure out what on earth the cube was, and then, I mean… well, look at it. Forget the toilet, let’s buy curtains for the bathroom first, shall we?

[Sailboat]

@RickJay

all I have to do to make it happen is yell out “Make it so, Number One/Number Two”

I laughed so hard I closed my eyes. Good one!

[tdn]

I’d be afraid of dropping the remote into the thing. But if the remote doubled as a phone/camera/e-mail/calculator device, that would be pretty cool.

[Larry_Mudd]

@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast

For that price, Sunspace, you’d expect it to clean itself.

For that much, it should clean the whole room.

[pbbth]

@tdn

I’d be afraid of dropping the remote into the thing. But if the remote doubled as a phone/camera/e-mail/calculator device, that would be pretty cool.

There are some things that shouldn’t have a remote. A toilet is one of those things. I can just see the shenanigans if I were going to the bathroom and my husband could control the toilet by remote, or worse if you’ve got two kids and one of them gets the remote while the other is going. :eek:

[tdn]

And what if the batteries, er, crap out at an inopportune time?

[zagloba]

@tdn

I’d be afraid of dropping the remote into the thing. But if the remote doubled as a phone/camera/e-mail/calculator device, that would be pretty cool.

Shoudn’t there be an app for that?

[Vita_Beata]

@Zsofia

Have you guys seen the commercial for this thing? It was one of those “watch one long commercial or we’ll interrupt your Daily Show a few times” things on Hulu. I about died laughing - it took ages for me to figure out what on earth the cube was, and then, I mean… well, look at it. Forget the toilet, let’s buy curtains for the bathroom first, shall we?

Bwahaha … No! The owners of those deluxe toilets will be using them in the their glass homes atop the city. I find great amusement in the ad.

[tdn]

@zagloba

Shoudn’t there be an app for that?

There’s a crap for that!

[aruvqan]

@tdn

And what if the batteries, er, crap out at an inopportune time?

It is wired into the house electrical, which begs the question about power outages, and the issue that computer systems have with unfiltered power from cheap generators :dubious:

At least with my generic kohler I can dump in a bucket of water to flush …

[Zsofia]

“Gaze upon my glorious morning shit and despair, peons!”