Best tiny laptop for gaming?

Money is not a big deal here.
I just want to have a DVD player-sized laptop that I can still play my games on.
The Eee looks great, except for that whole Windows mess and lack of memory.

I’m thinkin’ portable Bioshock…

Not sure what Bioshiock requirements are but it might be difficult to find what you want. Most 12.1 and and smaller notebooks are designed for stretching battery life and portability not gaming. Also most use system RAM for video.

What’s your budget? Gaming laptops tend to run from $2000 (on the low end) to $5000 (the super-sweet end). Considering that the same performance in a desktop PC can be had for ~$800 to $2000, portability comes at a steep premium.

Then again, I don’t know of any powerful gaming laptops anywhere near the size of a portable DVD player. If such a thing exists, it is no doubt very expensive.

Not more than $4000. I know, it is sort of a goofy thing to ask about…

Astro basically nailed it, but I interpreted the OP as asking about 10" or smaller ultraportables, AKA “netbooks” or UMPCs. Traditional 12" machines obviously have a lot more options, but could hardly be considered “tiny” A few more specific points:

When looking at specs, keep in mind that some UMPCs step down the processor while running on battery.

SSDs are fast, but not always. Some netbooks, such as the Eee series, have two separate SSDs, one fast and one much slower. If you are going to install Windows and (one?) game on the small fast 4GB SSD you might be OK. But just getting a Windows install and other productivity apps to fit on the 4GB drive can be a challenge (nlite helps). I doubt that you would be happy with the game running on the slow secondary internal SSD or an SDHC card.

Most netbooks have widescreen displays and integrated graphics. I don’t play video games, but I wonder whether the game and/or graphics driver will be able to accomodate the unusual resolution, often 1024x600.

I personally have a 10" EeePC with 80GB HDD and XP. IMHO the screen and battery life are exceptional. It has handled video (Skype, Flash, DivX) very well but I have no video game info.

I found that even the difference between playing certain “old skool” RPGs on a Mac Book compared to a Mac Book Pro was excruciating, just because of the smaller screen size and resolution.

If you’re into casual games then things are much better, but more hardcore stuff you will be making a lot of compromises. Turning off all the optional graphics effects, all the shading, lowering the frame rate, struggling inside a much smaller game window, etc.

However if this is more about portability, then you could always plug into a larger screen, many smaller notebooks aimed at the corporate presentation market should be great for this.

But for playing while you commute on the train? Or take a road trip? I would seriously suggest trying out some other titles, maybe actually a dedicated portable console like the PSP or something.