Apparently I’m comfortable between 73 and 75, and my girlfriend is comfortable above 79.
When the room is over 75 or 76, I begin to feel uncomfortable. Over 78 and the heat starts to make me feel frustrated or angry.
She says that below 79, she feels uncomfortable and she can’t handle it.
What’s the best way to fairly arrive at an appropriate temperature?
When we don’t have guests, I wear as little clothing as possible to accommodate as high a temperature as possible in the room.
I doubt this has a factual answer… In fact if my fiancee sees this, you’ve started a fight.
One theory - the colder temp because it’s easier for the person who thinks it’s too cold to put on extra clothes than for the other person to compensate.
But you’re unlikely to get agreement on this.
At any rate, one of you merely wants it too hot, and one of you wants it roasting.
On the basis that you can always put more clothes on, but there’re only so many you can take off, the temp should be set to the highest you’re comfortable with and she should wear an extra layer of clothing to compensate. Either that or get a girlfriend you’re more compatible with ;).
If you have a multi-story home, you could arrange things so you spend most of your time downstairs or in the basement while your girlfriend is upstairs.
Or you could drink ice cold water and turn on a fan.
There are standards for this sort of thing. At http://www.columbia.edu/cu/administration/policylibrary/policies/cufo/00bb9c641133d05001118f3c04c20004.html we see 68 F and 76 F as the temperatures to choose for the heating season and cooling season respectively. It is unusual for somebody to be uncomfortable below 79. ASHRAE is an organization that has done a lot of this work.
It is easier to add clothing than to remove it, if temperatures are warm enough that socially acceptible dress is uncomfortable.
Ah, but then there’s the old human element. I bet reason has nothing to do with this discussion.
Good link Napier.
Are there health related reasons why someone may find it comfortable at 79+ or 80+?
How about behind why I find myself getting frustrated or angry at those temps?
I’m like it warm myself, but this seems extreme. I mean, needing it to be almost 80? Has she talked to a doctor? Cold sensitivity can be a sign something’s out of balance.
One thing that makes a big difference for me is making sure my feet *never *get cold. I find Crocs with socks make good house shoes for this reason–they don’t conduct cold up from cold floors like other slippers do. If I stand around on the cold floors and get my feet good and chilled, I’m miserable for the rest of the night.
Another thing she might think of is a space heater or electric blanket, so at least she’s only heating the space she needs.
Wow. I don’t feel comfortable any warmer than 72 with the ceiling fan on high. In winter, the heater is usually on 68. I don’t think I could live with such a woman.
I second the notion for her to put on more clothes, or use a blanket, since this is an opinionated question anyway.
You’re frustrated and angry because you’re uncomfortable, distracted, and generally less efficient at those temperatures. Especially if you’re only suffering the discomfort because someone else has the heat turned up. You’re paying higher heating bills to be uncomfortable.
Is there any chance that you can tell her she’s more sensitive to the cold because she’s so slim? That might be a debility she’d be willing to accept. Hinting at anemia or thyroid problems probably wouldn’t go over as well.
Does her family keep the winter temps high? Is it what she’s been raised with?
The old (and I mean OLD) sitcom compromise would be for you to offer to buy her a mink coat.
It may sound like it doesn’t matter, but I’m curious if you are talking about trying to heat or cool the home?
I like the heat that is produced by the sun, I enjoy it in the 80’s and 90’s. But in the home, anything in the mid 70’s or above doesn’t feel good, not sure why, maybe you are similar.
Hypothyroidism can cause you to feel uncomfortably cold when others are comfortable. Diagnosed with a blood test, treated with a little pill every day. I’ve got it. However, requiring temps of 79 and above does seem extreme.
Yeah that’s pretty extreme. I live by myself and keep it between 65 and 67, and make MYSELF wear sweaters all winter.
Do you guys get free heat? 
Does she do much moving around or is she sedentary?
What kind of heat do you have?
I often feel cold at work, where we have forced air heat, and seldom feel cold at home, where we have radiant heat. The HVAC guy at my office tells me that some people seem to feel colder in forced air environments, something about the moving air triggers the “chilly” feeling.
I have to say 79 sounds a little high to me. How does she get by at work?
Anyway, my suggestion is to see if moving air, either from a forced air system or maybe just drafts, is contributing to how cold she feels.
This is better suited to IMHO than GQ.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
You’re asking good questions, I wish I had the forethought to put the info in my OP.
Right now it’s early March, so you’re probably thinking she wants to turn on the heater. However, we live in Southern California, and I was actually turning on the air conditioner at the time.
Although the temperature outside is in the high 60s, there’s no tree shading our upstairs apartment. The sun hits our south wall starting about 8am and up until about 8pm. Between noon and 5pm, it gets very hot in here. We used to have a tree outside providing shade, but it was replaced with a slowly growing twig a few years ago.
When I start feeling uncomfortable, I check the thermometer we keep around. If it shows over 77 or so, I’ll make a change to hopefully reduce temperature. I try to choose free methods like opening windows, adjusting the blinds, etc. Then I choose cheap methods like turning on the ceiling fan or the vornado. If those fail, I turn on the a/c.
When the a/c is on is when it generally affects her. I think it’s mainly the cold air blowing around, not the temperature that her body reaches. If I could find a way other than blowing cold air around to cool the apartment, I would. I experiment and try different stuff often.
Since the a/c is on the south wall, that means it blows cold air onto the north wall, which is always cool. This means it doesn’t cool down the wall which is radiating heat. So lately I’ve been pointing the vornado so that it blows cold air into the corner where I sit while I compute, or towards the sofa where I sit while I watch TV. Hopefully not only is the redirected cooler air cooling me, but also the hot wall which is re-radiating the sun’s heat into our apartment.
I care for my girl a lot and want to accommodate her, but when the temp gets to a certain degree, I feel literally ill.
As far as how much she moves around - she uses a treadmill and/or elliptical 6 days a week every week non-stop for 4+ years. Other than that, I move around very quickly, and I’m sure that continually generates more heat in my body. She tends to move around more slowly than I do (just walking and performing most activities).
In response to RaftPeople - outside, I don’t like it warm either. That bothers me also, but it bothers me much more indoors.
Ironically, I really like hot showers. I mean, really, really hot showers. The kind that makes your skin bright red. I like them so much that I had to start turning the temp down for a few minutes before I get out, otherwise my body stays hot for a long, long time after I get out. I find that cooling myself off before I get out of the shower allows me to tolerate a warmer room slightly better for a few hours, but eventually wears off.
79 is ridiculously high - that’s a reasonably warm summer day. Either your thermostat’s giving you funny readings or she needs to see a doctor.
If the outside temperature is cold enough that the apartment is well below 79 degrees without AC, does she still feel uncomfortable?
Is she uncomfortable outdoors when the temp is well below 79? What about in public places where the temperature is set (as it usually would be) at much lower than 79?
She generally likes it warmer. If it’s 75 she’s will generally do something to warm up.