Best way to handle living with four other people?

In My Humble Opinion
21

[QUOTE=Hokkaido Brit]
Oh, I forgot to say/ask…

What is this with Americans writing checks for bills - don’t you have direct debits? In England (and now here in Japan) all our regular bills are taken automatically from our bank accounts, so there’s never any worry about late payment or forgetting.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, we have this over here. it;'s the only way I do my bills, cause I’d forget otherwise, and I always lose my checkbook. But some stuffy old coots are stuck in their ways and don’t trust those dag-gum machines.

Thanks for all the suggestions. We say ther place again last night, to see the work that had been done (looks even nicer,) and we’re going to rent it, assuming my lease application is approved (which it should be.) So it looks like I’m the name on the lease, which will be oh so fun. :rolleyes: I’m going to try and finagle it so that that is the only bill I have to take care of, and maybe someone else can do the power, cable, and maybe phone (we all have cells, and there’s great service, so no real need for a land line. but then, it’s like $30/month if we just add digital phone to the cable service, so that’s like $6 a person, so we might doi it anyway.) One of the main reasons I don’t want all the bills for myself is because I will probably have the least money out of all of us, so it would be nice for some of the bills to go to someone who can cover them by themselves if they need to, then collect the mony afterwards if a person or two doesn’t pay in time (which we’ll only let slide ever so occaisionally for good reasons.)

Actually, due to some circumstances, I pretty much can’t be the person to, at the very least, set up the utilities, since I leave town the day before our lease starts and won’t be back for almost two weeks. So I just need to get everyone’s first month rent and SD, send it off to the landlord, and then tell someone else to deal with the rest. :stuck_out_tongue: (But in a nice way.)

We didn’t have time to go over the finer logistics of everything, since we met up in the late evening and one of my friends works nights, but rest assured, I plan to sort all this stuff out before we move in.

22

[QUOTE=iamthewalrus(:3=]
I gotta disagree with this one. If you are the most responsible person, you absolutely do not want to have to handle all the bills. It means that you’ll have to be the one hassling the deadbeats (if any) for money, and it means that you’ll be stuck with the phone bill after someone runs up $500 in 900-number calls and ditches town. You should split the bills up between people, and each person will be responsible for paying the bills that are in their name.

I think that hardcore written in stone rules about how many nights a guest is allowed to stay over before being charged rent are definitely in order. It can be any number you can all agree on, but it has to be firm.

I like the minifridge idea, too.

And, this isn’t really related to roommate duties, but I’ve been burned by it in the past: Take a video camera and do a complete walkthrough of the house, inside and out, focusing on anything that might be an issue your security deposit will get nailed with when you move out. Write out a list of what you see, and send a registered copy to the landlord.
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No long distance service on teh common phone. People can have their own cell phones or get a long distance card. Basic cost on a non long distance phone line may vary but we pay $20 for ours incluuding all teh silly taxes.

Minifridges rock, and assigning specific cupboards is great.

Rota for chores is great also.

Invest in a wholesale club membership - buy household stuff like paper towels and toilet paper in bulk, its cheaper.

Make rules about the bathroom up front. Make people get their own little shower caddies and keep the notions potions and lotions in their pown room UNLESS you can all agree on the exact brand of shampoo, conditioner, mouthweash, toothpaste and soap. Nothing looks crappier than bottles and tubes everywhere.

Set up an in house dress code. Tidy whities for running to the john in the middle of the niight? bare arsed naked? cute bath robe? Shoes on or off? slippers?

Set up visitation rules - especially where it concerns sleep overs by snugglebunnies, or one night stands.

Set up party rules. I came home once to find a roomie had had a party and stuff got broken and he didnt want to pay for it. A few things also got stolen and he refused to think his friends would possibly steal anything. That was not a good situation. I would say NO parties unless everybody is involved.

23

Assigning specific cleaning duties and specific paying times and specific “borrowing procedures” (which can go from everything’s communal to each his own) is essential. I don’t have a problem with people grabbing a glass of the drinks I’ve bought - but I keep my shoppping list on the fridge’s door and if someone leaves me out of Cocacola I want to see it listed. If I go grab a glass of juice and find out there’s about 5cc left, no listing, I’ll yell; second time I’ll stop buying that particular kind (none of my roomies who liked pineapple went for OJ-with-floating-stuff and viceversa).

No sleepovers unless you ask for permission in advance. I’ve had friends (mine or the roomies’) visit from out of town and that’s OK; I’ve also had the roomie’s bf start taking up my fridge space without paying any rent.

24

Just a thought on the mini frig’s.
Don’t those things draw alot of energy?

You might want to check the wph to see if there will be a drastic jump in the electric bill as well as problems with the breaker.

I am thinking, that for about the same amount of energy as 5 mini frig’s, couldn’t you pick up a used frig to be designated in to area’s in its interior as everyone’s territory and store it in a bedroom, or soemthing?

Just a thought.

25

[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]

I am thinking, that for about the same amount of energy as 5 mini frig’s, couldn’t you pick up a used frig to be designated in to area’s in its interior as everyone’s territory and store it in a bedroom, or soemthing?

Just a thought.
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In a bedroom? Pfft, we can store it in wither the den (basically an extra living room), the area that used to be another kitchen, now just has a sink and some cupboards, or the “work-bench” room, as I like to call it. It has (obviously) a work bench, and a LARGE sink in it, as well as hookups for a washer and dryer. The spare “kitchen” would be the best place if we go this route. Though it’s possible that some of them already ahve their own mini fridges. I don’t have one, buit if everyoen but me has one, then there will be plenty of space in the main one for my food. I can just claim one shelf all for me.

I’m looking around now for utility services, and once again, being in a rural area bites me in the ass. I have a whole ONE company to get cable from, so they are pretty much free to overcharge at their hearts content on their monopoly (if I lived about two streets down, I would then have a choice of getting city supplied cable/internet/digital phone. But as it stands, we are just outside their service area. And it seems Adelphia doesn’t even offer digital phone service. And Adelphis is going to be bought out by Comcast and TW, yes? So if that occurs while we are getting it, I’m sure it will go ever so smoothly. :rolleyes: )

26

[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]
It’s probably tough, but the best rule is no sleepovers. Let someone stay overnight once or twice, and you could end up with a fifth roommate.
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The best solution for this I ever saw went like this: It was a six-bedroom house with a “constitution” on the kitchen wall. The constitution said the standard stuff - if you make a mess, clean it up, etc - but critically, it said “overnight guests can stay for a maximum of ONE WEEK, after that they have to leave.” This gives you something to point at when your roommate’s overnight guest won’t leave. Even more important: it’s sometimes hard to get your OWN guest to leave. (“Oh, come on, I thought we were friends!” or “But I really need a place to crash!” or “What, you mean you don’t want me around?” etc) If you can point to the rules and say “it’s not me, sorry, it’s a hard and fast house rule” it’s a lot easier to get rid of them. This saved my arse more than once.

If it’s just not practical to ask them to leave forever (eg a boyfriend/girlfriend), you can make a constitutional amendment - “Okay, Jane, well, your boyfriend can still spend time here, even though it’s against the house rules, as long as he helps out with the bills and groceries, and doesn’t invite his friends round.”

Various other tips from someone who has had literally dozens of roommates:

  • If the bills are in your name, get a deposit from each person who pays you. The final bill will come long after everyone has moved out and in the chaos of this kind of transition, even the best-intentioned people can disappear without paying.

  • are these roommates people you are already friends with? If so you will have to establish how you want the friendship to go in these new circumstances. Is s/he assumed to be welcome to join you whenever you go out, or do they have to get a specific invitation? Do you mind being disturbed in your room if the door is closed? If the roommates are strangers, there are fewer expectations of privacy/openness and it’s much less likely that feelings will be hurt. If you’re friends, however, Danger, Will Robinson! I have seen many friendships ruined because of rooming together. Make sure everyone is clear on how much privacy you need, even if they are your friends and you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

  • make sure it is clear to all that doing your own dishes INCLUDES putting them away; it is not sufficient to wash them and then add them to the giant, precarious pile of clean dishes stacked in the drainboard, and walk away smugly thinking that your work is done. It is astonishing how many people fail to grasp this simple concept. (Even more astonishing is the idea that “putting dishes in the sink and filling it with water” counts as discharging one’s dish-doing obligations. Sheesh.) Longstanding pet peeve of mine. You can see how these grievances build up.

27

You also have to discuss tenant’s insurance. The landlord homeowner’s insurance only covers the building. In the case of fire, theft, flood, etc. tenant’s personal belongings are not covered.

It’s a good idea to get a yearly policy and split the cost of the premium. If anything happens, you will be very grateful.

28

On the first day you’re living with them, hire a trio of burly, unpleasant looking thugs to pretend to attack your roommates. Leap into the fray and beat the crap otu of the thugs, sending them whimpering off. Your roommates will thereafter do anything you say.

What?

29

I know that things can go badly with roommates (I’ve had some obnoxious ones), but I wonder how much these pre-emptive measures really work. As per cleaning: maybe some folks will do their fair share, but my experience is that people clean only to their level, regardless of what’s in writing. As for guests, etc., I’ve also had an “extra” flatmate before. I highly doubt that something in writing (e.g. a Constitution) would have gotten her to move out. I could easily see said person staying for the week in the constitution, going home for a day, and returning.

Right now, I live with a solid crew. (We’re going out to a brewery tour in an hour!) Yeah, I probably clean more than anyone else, but, if I want a certain level of cleanliness, I’m gonna have to clean. OTOH, if anyone sees me cleaning, they usually join in (and vice versa). I don’t think having good housemates is a matter of pre-made contracts as it is respecting each other.

Given the fact that you’re three grad students and two nursing students, I highly imagine that you’re all going to be too busy to really get in each other’s hair.

30

[QUOTE=JustAnotherGeek]
As for guests, etc., I’ve also had an “extra” flatmate before. I highly doubt that something in writing (e.g. a Constitution) would have gotten her to move out.
[/QUOTE]
Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth. (Sorry, angry.)

I gotta disagree with D_Odds. A fistful of Tylenol in the “communal” stew is far less messy and less likely to arouse suspicion. Just prepare your own dish in advance.

31

Security Cameras?

32

[QUOTE=Hokkaido Brit]
Oh, I forgot to say/ask…

What is this with Americans writing checks for bills - don’t you have direct debits? In England (and now here in Japan) all our regular bills are taken automatically from our bank accounts, so there’s never any worry about late payment or forgetting.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, but then you’re allowing companies to take money out of your bank account at will. Good luck getting your money back from them if they screw up and overcharge you. I’ve read way too many horror stories in the paper.

33

I have no clue on what your budget is, but hiring a professional cleaning service once every 2 to 4 weeks can be really nice. The bathroom and kitchen get full treatment versus the quickest means-to-an-end cleaning that some people do.

One trick I did that was SOOOOO simple and SOOOOO effective: Everyone buys their own eating set. 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 cutlery set, 1 glass, 1 mug, 1 ??? They have to be unique and identifiable - so you buy blue, someone has yellow with polka dots, etc. You now no longer have a problem with dishes. If you want to eat, then your plate needs to be clean. No chance for anyone to keep piling dishes into the sink. For parties, use high-quality paper and plastic, or maybe have a simple full set of dishes kept in the closet for special occasions. But for daily use - use your own and take care of your own. Have exactly one set of pots and pans and utensils for everyone to use - again, if you want to cook, you need to have the one pan clean. Tell people about this idea/rule now so they don’t all bring 5 mismatched sets of plates and pans (or at least they know to pack most of it away).

Recycle bins! Get big bins for everyone to use.

Are there key locks on the bedroom doors (as opposed to the ones that can only be locked from the inside)? Should there be?

Renters insurance is actually pretty darn cheap for a few thousand $ of protection.

Sparse furniture in the common areas can sometimes help keep the place clean. If you have tons of bookcases and coffee tables and chairs and lamp stands and ??? then junk multiplies. If you have an empty room with one couch and one TV in the corner, then junk is very noticeable and people tend to keep their junk in their rooms.

Community food - have a bunch of ramen noodles on hand to keep people and their friends from eating your food. “I was hungry!” can be countered with “There was ramen! Eat it! Not my Chunky Beef Stew!” Also, have a hanging basket or ??? for fruit and bread and ??? that can be designated as communal if they start to go bad and you can’t eat it all. Otherwise you could throw away food that someone else could have eaten.

-Tcat

34

I suggest starting a cult and ewcruiting your house mates as worshuooers. I undersand there are drugs you can slip into their food to make them more vulnerable and suggestible. Then you get them to make insurance policies in your favor and give you all their worldly goods.

Then you explain to them how to “find the mother ship”.

Cha-ching!

35

Really really need to do more proofreading… oh am I too quick on that submit button. I suppose you all can figure your way through the typos.

36

Have a plan for when female roomie’s boyfriend beats her up and starts smashing things. Or pulls a gun on her/you. Or keeps calling all night or pounding on door. Or walks through communal area naked. hmmm…anything I missed?

This is just the start, I believe.

Don’t lend money. Don’t lend property. If you have something new or expensive, don’t let anybody else in the house know about it. Lock your room with a deadbolt, not just a doorknob lock. My money says that somebody will go through your possessions.

best wishes,
hh

37

I think everyone else covered the biggies, so I’ll just add this:

Earplugs. Good ones.

38

Some people can do it, some people can’t. It helps if you’ve spent a lot of time living with another guy in a sea-container. :slight_smile:

I currently live with five people in a house, it works great.

  1. One of the five is the landlord, he pays the bills, we all pay him.

  2. I am a total neat freak and am prepared to do ALL the cleaning if neccesary. If I see a mess I will often clean it up even if it isn’t mine. That’s enough to shame the others into doing their share so I never really have to do any more than my own mess. In any case it’s never been an issue because…

  3. We are all immmigrants but not college students or anything (I’m the youngest and just finished my degree recently), so we all work like…well… immigrants. I spend more time in my office downtown than at home. None of us drink, smoke, snort, or even listen to loud music, ever. Similarly, while there’s no expressed rule on overnight visitors, none of us have ever had any(that I know of).

  4. We almost never have any junk or precooked food in the house, we all cook our own meals from scratch and they are usually consumed right away, so we’ve never had any problems with the communal fridge (although it’s a little small). Seems that while pizza or takeout might be tempting, people generally don’t have any inclination to steal each other’s rice or cabbage or frozen ground beef.

  5. I didn’t know any of my roomies before hand but I’ve never felt the need to put a lock on my door. I don’t keep cash at home and own no valuables.

39

Some people can do it, some people can’t. It helps if you’ve spent a lot of time living with another guy in a sea-container. :slight_smile:

I currently live with five people in a house, it works great.

  1. One of the five is the landlord, he pays the bills, we all pay him.

  2. I am a total neat freak and am prepared to do ALL the cleaning if neccesary. If I see a mess I will often clean it up even if it isn’t mine. That’s enough to shame the others into doing their share so I never really have to do any more than my own mess. The way I see it, if you just give a little good faith to start with, lead by example, and things end happily. In any case it’s never been an issue because…

  3. We are all immmigrants but not college students or anything (I’m the youngest and just finished my degree recently), so we all work like…well… immigrants. I spend more time in my office downtown than at home. None of us drink, smoke, snort, or even listen to loud music, ever. Similarly, while there’s no expressed rule on overnight visitors, none of us have ever had any(that I know of).

  4. We almost never have any junk or precooked food in the house, we all cook our own meals from scratch and they are usually consumed right away, so we’ve never had any problems with the communal fridge (although it’s a little small). Seems that while pizza or takeout might be tempting, people generally don’t have any inclination to steal each other’s rice or cabbage or frozen ground beef.

  5. I didn’t know any of my roomies before hand but I’ve never felt the need to put a lock on my door. I don’t keep cash at home and own no valuables.

40

I once lived with some people like this. I joined them and so they had a system in place.
Of course rent and utilties were split evenly. (this was BC, before cell phones) However we shared all the food but shopped seperatly. There wasn’t enough room in the firdge for us all to have our own areas and the problem with that is if someone’s food goes bad then everyone’s food stinks. However, with everybody eating everything, fewer things went bad. So at one point in the month, when the bills were paid, the food bill was divided as well. So if you had bought 100 dollars worth of groceries, then 80 bucks was taken off your share of the bills. This worked very well. No, we never had a huge surplas of food and not enough money for bills. It just worked out very well.

They had also worked out a novel kitchen cleaning routine. Each person took it in turns. Each person had to wait 24 hours after the latest cleaning. So if I cleaned, and you were next, you had to wait 24 hours to take your turn. You could wait longer, and have more to clean up, that was your choice. We were all friends, so even if one person took a few days, only some ‘gentle’ reminding got the dishes done.