Assume that I have $2000. (Well, I do have it).
What would be the best way to make a profit out of this sum of money?
This must be done through legal means - no smuggling, drugs, robbery or whatsoever.
What kind of investment would you recommend?
U.S. Savings Bonds
You’d have to give details about your location (i.e. Canada, USA or Australia or any other nation that uses “dollars”), since investment opportunities vary wildly from venue to venue.
There are any number of venture-capital mutual funds you might buy into. High risk, but possible high gain.
Depends how much work you want to do.
Starting your own business is a good way to make money, but requires a lot of work and probably won’t show an immediate profit. The long-term payoffs, however, are better than most investments. Depending on what kind of skills you have, you could probably start working out of your home or car for under $2000.
If you’d rather do other things while your money grows by itself, you could invest it. This site has a lot of useful information on learning which companies are smart investments and which ones aren’t.
Well, you see, I’ve come into millions of dollars of secret Nigerian funds, which I am willing to share with you if you send me $2000 dollars to unlock the money.
Or, I have a suitcase full of bank notes that are dyed with a special chemical that disappears when sprayed with another particular solution. The suitcase and solution are yours for $2000.
That sounds too risky? Well, I am selling this patch of real estate on the moon. It’s yours for $2000.
Hmm. Want a bridge, then?
How about the Eiffel Tower?
Join my Pyramid Scheme?
You sure you’re not interested in anything I have to offer?
US$2000. I’m still studying, so I’m not sure how I could go into business…
Can anyone tell me more about investments? Sitting down and watching my money grow sounds fun. 
[whisper]
Psst. Wanna buy a bridge cheap?
[/whisper]
Well, if you’d bought WorldCom stock last Monday when it was $0.06/share, you’d have nearly quadrupled your money. It’s currently at $0.23/share.
That’s my advice. Buy a stock that’s in the toilet and hope that the fluctuations in the price go up, instead of down, before it completely disappears.
(I should mention that I would never do this with my money, but it’s a fun thing to recommend.)
Hey, a hundred shares for $23 seems like a worthwhile investment for me.
Pay an extra couple bucks to actually get the certificate on paper and you can sell it for at least $25 on eBay once the company goes bust once and for all…
Enron stockholder reporting in. You need to bring a lot more than $2K, as well as enough time to know what you’re doing, to the party if you’re going to attempt to play the toilet stock game that Giraffe suggests. Go with LouisB’s suggestion.
Good luck!
Four words: put everything on Red 27. 
Forex trading.
If you are investing for the long term (years, not months) then I would recommend an index fund. They do not have fees the way that managed funds do, and they tend to overperform managed funds anyways. A good site about investing is the motley fool they have plain talk explinations of how stuff like IRA’s, 401k’s, and index funds work.
Send it to me. Wait for results.
A fool and his money are some party!
I’d recommend an investment in a backbone. If you’re not willing to do something illegal, you’re probably not serious about wanting more money.
Ah, another Enron executive.
What’s wrong with having character and ethics? Wanting to stay on the right side of the law does not mean you are spineless.
“Well, if you’d bought WorldCom stock last Monday when it was $0.06/share, you’d have nearly quadrupled your money. It’s currently at $0.23/share.”
Are you kidding? It won’t be on the board after friday if it’s under a dollar, right?
I believe (based solely on my Enron experience) that delisting is pretty much automatic if the stock spends 30 consecutive days under $1.00.
Um. That’s 5 words. Perhaps Res isn’t the best choice as a financial consultant.
I, however am happy to assist. Give it to me. I’ll pay it back at 12 percent interest over 3 years.
I swear. Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you.