Entertaining article this weekend in the local paper about “Aplodontia rufa, the world’s most primitive rodent.”
Forget the “beaver”! The important story here is linked on the right of the page. Tully’s might go tits-up. At last! I’ve hated that company ever since they replaced the Rainier R with their stoopid [COLOR=“SeaGreen”]T[/COLOR].
Bring back the R.
My uncle was almost killed by a mountain beaver on a hunting trip to Washington state about 20 years ago. He went to the cabin outhouse to take a dump (it was a one-holer). Suddenly, he heard a giant crash all around him. It was the sound of a giant tree that missed the outhouse by >-|-|-< much narrowly saving his life. He jumped up with his pants still around his ankles, threw open the door and fired off a quick picture of the mountain beaver running away. The picture is very grainy however and looks like a half melted tub of rainbow sherbet. Experts debate its authenticity to this day but know one in our family has any doubt.
How is that significant? 
Because if it were a two-holer, they might have had a chance to catch it provided that one of them could pull their pants up quickly enough. Instead, it ended up with a big downed tree, a partially damaged outhouse, a man with pants down to his ankles, and a crappy camera. You just can’t do real science that way.
This is a horrifying tale! In the pre-camera phone era what sort of man goes to the outhouse with his camera?! (For that matter, why would you take a camera phone to the outhouse? That’s sure as hell one place you wouldn’t want to drop it. But I digress…)
::shudders::
It is indeed tragic, especially since the EPA requires that outhouses have at least two holes in mountain beaver infested areas. “Never excrete alone for safety” being the Politically Correct motto.
Maybe that’s what makes it ferocious. It’s a mean drunk.
Maybe that’s why it was pissed to find a one holer occupied.
Not to hijack the thread more, but I agree. Tully’s has always been the coffee chain I’ve gone to only because Starbucks or Excelsior are either unavailable or too busy. Their tea, in particular, is really, really, really disgusting. Even worse than their coffee.
The mountain beaver is a neat little fella, but I’ve always heard they just had regular ol’ brown fur, none of these psychedelic rainbow pelts.
That depends upon what kind of coffee one has been drinking in the out house.
From the beginning of the Wikipedia article on them: “The Mountain Beaver (Aplodontia rufa) is a primitive rodent unrelated to beavers and not always found in mountainous areas.”
So both parts of the name are wrong. Sounds like grounds for being permanently p.o.ed right there. Except, the article also notes: “Mountain Beavers cannot produce concentrated urine.”
Since they don’t cut down trees like true beavers, I wonder why anyone would suspect a mountain beaver in felling a tree onto an outhouse.
Because of the whooshing sound the tree makes when it falls…
There are two things wrong with the Mountain Beaver’s name.
I tried Mountain Beaver once…
Ward kicked my ass.
Thank you, I’ll be here all night.
SSG Schwartz
Never mind.