I was certain it was either a band name or some rapper I’d never heard of. What would be a more fitting next-generation incarnation of any of Meat Puppies, Meatloaf, or Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band than Beyond Meat Coo!
He finally found some animal-based meat he could bite into!
Really the jokes just write themselves.
I laughed out loud when I saw it trending on Twitter. It wasn’t even the meat idea. Just the absurdity, and the fact that this was the news trending about my state.
Beyond meat is rally quite disgusting imo. Eat a black bean burger instead.
Countries with a history of Buddhism have all spent centuries developing good tasting and healthy vegetarian diets. So, really, if you want to go vegetarian then the real answer isn’t to try and create Western food out of vegetables, it’s to start going to Indian and Thai restaurants.
Exactly! We we’re visiting family and my daughter is a vegetarian. Our hosts were flummoxed on what to serve. I kept offering to take us out to a Tibetan/ Himalayan or Thai place but they declined instead we got mushroom Alfredo pasta. Which was great using mushrooms from a local grower but really?
The victim had a plant-based nose, so all is good.
Wait, he punched through a car’s windshield!? Those things are tough. I’d expect a person to break the bones in their hand before they broke the glass.
Hopefully this is just entitled rich guy with anger issues, not the first of case of a nose eating zombie pandemic spread by beyond meat 
Thank you. I bet your students love you.
Yeah, I saw the headline earlier today, read the article, and figured that either the guy was doing something a lot harder than alcohol or - much more likely - the story isn’t quite accurate in that respect.
He’s lucky he didn’t have a cauliflower ear.
…or a pear ass.
He was probably on PCP. Broke every bone in his hand and wouldn’t feel it for hours.
He’s been suspended from beyond meat.
I heard on the news that the company isn’t doing well either, so this is the last thing they needed.
Aw, thanks! My kids put up with me.
Why he would do that is Beyond me, too.
I saw the thread title, thought Coo was a misspelling of “cow” and wondered why the cow would be against eating something other than meat?
That’s what I get for checking the web before I am entirely awake.
Why would they arrest a cow?
Cudspiracy.
Or a mooving violation.