Not to mention two of the great rock ballads of the 1990s: Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” and the Goo Goo Dolls’ “Iris”.
Yeah. IMO, “making love” to his drink is just another way of saying he’s “nursing” his drink. He’s taking his time, sipping it, perhaps stirring it or swirling the ice around.

I saw Piano Man on a list of the worst songs from the 1970s.
I get that, because to me the lyrics really sound like something in a high school junior’s English composition notebook. You know, trying real hard, but way less profound then the author thinks it is. This lyrics are supposed to be painting a picture, but the picture isn’t original and offers no real insight into the subject.
But wow does Billy Joel really sell the song. Any of you that don’t reflexively hit skip when it comes on, probably want to sing along. It’s not my favorite Billy Joel song, but it had every right to be on his greatest hits tape that was a staple of our 80s family road trips.
Inane lyrics are pretty far down on the list of rock & roll sins, and here they at least make sense.

Maybe Bill isn’t very good, and the other, more talented piano men play the good days.
I kind of always took it as the narrator also having higher aspirations than the bar, but being stuck there just like the rest of the guys. “Man, what are you doing here,” always gave me the impression that the drunks think he’s too good to be playing an empty bar on a Saturday, but he is playing the bar, and you shouldn’t trust the judgment of a bunch of drunks who are wallowing in their failed aspirations.
It’s one of those many songs which is fine/good, maybe even great, but which I’ve heard a gazillion times already and have no interest in hearing again. I always reach for the SCAN button when it comes on.
I always thought “Paul is a real estate novelist” presented a picture of a guy who fancies himself a writer and has vague plans of composing great works, but is “temporarily” writing for a real estate agency until his big inspiration comes. So in reality, the only writing he has done, is doing, and likely will ever do is writing BS copy for real estate ads.