Since age 11 or so, my family’s celebrated my birthday with cards, a homemade-from-a-mix cake, and a couple of tchotchkes. I wasn’t interested in a sweet 16, nor did I do anything for 21 other than go out with friends. That’s what I usually do, really - go out with friends.
My best friend since college & my SO tried to collude this year to come up with something a bit more special for my 30th birthday (later this month), but… No dice. Said friend confessed on New Year’s Day that they really had no clue & I’m a better planner than either of them, anyway. My SO came over later & heard this; he thought they weren’t giving up quite yet (couple weeks to go), but okay.
I’ve decided to just send an e-mail asking all my friends to meet at a bar/brewery in Manhattan for food/drinks, and no gifts, please. It’s just an excuse to herd everyone together for a night.
ETA: I almost forgot! SO’s taking me to see Metallica a few days later. Woo!
Since I was 10 I have had only one gift for my BD; when I was 18 my dad gave me a new Tissot wristwatch which I still wear. Thats it. BDs are for kids and women.
OTH I have nothing against the a BD being an excuse to have dinner and meet up with friends, thats healthy.
I kind of resent being lumped in with “kids,” as if women are sort of semi-adults who still care about dumb kid stuff. Especially since this thread has proven that women seem to pretty much have the same attitude about birthdays as men.
My birthday is Christmas eve, so I never had much of a celebration after childhood. We’ll take twenty minutes out from wrapping presents to have some cake and my mom will give me a present. That’s fine by me. I’d rather not be the center of attention.
I do think, however, it’s good for our personal and societal health to mark milestones and celebrate things.
Gotta agree about the ‘women and kids’ subgroup. What about all the Jehovah’s witnesses where no-one celebrates their birthdays? Are they automatically all men? 'Cause some of those blokes are little and some have boobies.
And I wasn’t clear in my earlier post. My Dad is the driving force behind BD parties in our family, because his mother didn’t like them.
I respect people who don’t want a party. I won’t throw you one. I’ll find out what you like and jam a candle in it though, even if it’s just a bowl of steamed broccoli.
I’ve never thought about it, but now that I do, I guess I instinctively associate birthday celebrations with children or child-like adults. Rationally, I can see the niche for celebration on an accomplishment, like graduating, or winning a race, or giving birth. But a birthday? A decades-old random act you had no influence in?
Man checking in here. In my family we’ve always made a fuss about birthdays. On my birthday I received presents from everyone, a cake, the whole nine yards.
But I’d NEVER expect anyone at work to even know it was my birthday. It’s a family thing.
I don’t think it has to be a party with favors and balloons (or clowns) but a nice dinner party seems perfectly delightful for any age above kid. My father believes that giving a present is a way to say I love you so I will certainly continue to give him gifts on his birthday. It’s just he and Mom but he does take the initiative to take them out to dinner so it must mean something to him.
Tamerlane - Happy Birthday! I’m sure ValMichael probably still has you on the list. Actually, he doesn’t. I just checked. Speaking of old friends, did you hear that white wings just lost her father a couple days before Christmas? A massive stroke.
I was never big on large birthday celebrations, even when I was a kid. Back then I got a nice birthday celebration and cake with my parents (I’m an only child) and maybe a couple of friends, but I don’t think I had a real party with multiple guests past about age 6 or 7. I was fine with that–I don’t like parties much, and I only like being the center of attention when it’s because of an accomplishment, not a state of being like “I’m a year older!”
I still cringe when I think of my sixteenth birthday. For one thing, I wanted to pop anyone who used the words “Sweet Sixteen” anywhere near me (I was and am rather femininity-challenged and found the whole concept highly patronizing), but for another, my parents took me and a friend to Farrell’s ice cream parlor (which was fine) and my mother promised me that she wouldn’t say anything to the waitstaff about it being my birthday because it was that place’s style to make a huge deal out of birthdays (singing, sparklers, the whole bit) and I wanted none of it.
So we got there and what did my mom do? You guessed it. I very nearly hid under the table to avoid all the hoopla, and to this day it’s one of those little things that I’ll never forgive her for. She’s a great mother and I love her, but she’s…let’s say…orders of magnitude more outgoing than I am.
These days it’s just dinner with the spouse, and maybe gifts, maybe not depending on whether there’s anything I want. This year he gave me a stuffed Murloc (from WoW). Last year he gave me an in-game mount (a spectral tiger). They were great gifts.
As far as work goes, I’m not the one in the team who remembers people’s birthdays and plans a celebration. We have two men and three women on our team, and one of the men does the birthday stuff.
My husband’s family (okay, mother) makes a big deal of my birthday. I think it’s just because it’s close to my sister-in-law’s birthday, and they’d feel bad celebrating hers and not mine. But I don’t get why they celebrate hers, because they don’t celebrate any other adult’s birthday. Just kids. So I find the whole production rather embarrassing.
I think work parties and the like are rather silly, myself. My birthday could pass unnoticed without hurt feelings from me, except for two people.
My mother. I would like it if she remembered and called me to tell me happy birthday. She often forgets mine, but remembers to take us out to dinner to celebrate my husband’s a few months later, which is maybe more the problem.
My husband. I know he wouldn’t care if he never got another present, ever, for anything, but I would love it if he’d make a very minor deal of my birthday. Just for us, you understand - no parties. A nice dinner out that I didn’t have to plan and a small present I didn’t pick out (and wrap) myself would do the trick. He is a man among men, and I don’t know what I do without him. But he is not very good at this particular thing.
Ah, poor thing. The holiday stress seems to make for far too many incidents of that sort. Nothing like an extra heaping plate of melancholy to wash down the eggnog :(.
Birthdays are fun, but they’re mainly for kids and old people. Actually, I’ve come to like the old people’s birthdays the best, since they become big family gatherings, at least in my family. (If you hate big family gatherings, or don’t like your elderly relatives, I guess that might not be so much fun.)
I’m male, 29. My parents stopped making a big deal about my birthday after my 18th, and even then, it always seemed more like a chore to them than a celebration. Now they’ll take me out to dinner, but that’s about it. I kinda wish they would make more of a fuss, especially since a fuss is always made for their birthdays. Oh well.
Guess that’s one of the nice things about being married… your spouse is pretty much required to make a fuss.
I went many years (from mid-20s on) not making a big deal about my birthday. Played it down, didn’t tell anyone. Then a couple of years ago, I asked two female friends to throw me a birthday party. Lo and behold, people came! And celebrated me!
They’re such a good time, I now sometimes have one in the spring as well (November baby).
The way I see it is that many men believe it to be manly to play down accomplishments and to quietly go about their lives. Strong, silent, etc. But damn it, I like celebrating me. I think I’m a pretty kick-ass dude, and why not take a day (or two!) out of the year to make a big deal about it. I ask people not to bring gifts and cards, and such. Simply bring your awesome self to my party and help me to celebrate another successful trip around the sun.
Mainly for kids? I can see the point. I don’t think celebrating one’s self is a “should” by any means. But if celebrating means that I get to take a few hours to take note of my fabulous friends, lovely family, and the relationships that I build with them, I’m all for it.
In many countries, as I understand it, you give gifts on your own birthday. This might be a good way to go if you want to celebrate it but don’t want to be just angling for presents.
