Perhaps this is better suited to the Pit, I don’t know.
Okay, it’s my birthday today. Hooray. And I don’t want to celebrate it. I’ve never been huge on birthdays and this one is no exception. So to all my well-meaning yet uninformed friends, here goes:
No, I don’t want a party. Thanks for the offer, but I really don’t want one.
If you got me a present, I thank you and I appreciate it. But if you didn’t, that’s fine. And I am aware that no party means fewer presents. That’s okay.
Finally, no, I’m not depressed. The reason I don’t want a party or a big deal made is just because I don’t think of it as any big deal. I’m not upset about my birthday or anything like that.
Is the idea of not wanting to shout about your birthday to the world so alien that people just can’t comprehend it? People I talk to just can’t seem to get their head around someone not celebrating their birthday. And as I implied, they assume it’s because birthdays depress you or you hate getting older or whatever. No, I just don’t see the big deal. I don’t like parties in general, and a birthday party is just something I’m not interested in. Is that so hard to understand?
I’m not yelling at anyone, I won’t respond to a well-intentioned “Happy Birthday” with a scowl and a curse, I just don’t see a need to go beyond that.
Does anyone else feel similarly? Had similar experiences?
Well, I can’t say that I feel similarly. I love celebrating my birthday, and it rocks when people recognize it. (My birthday is September 26, incidentally.)
That said, I know plenty of people who don’t like to celebrate their birthdays for a number of reasons. The reasons themselves vary, but frankly, that’s irrelevent. If you don’t want to celebrate your birthday, I won’t try to make you, nor will I marvel at what a bizarre, antisocial misanthrope you are for this predilection.
If anyone tries to get you to celebrate anyway, just tell them that it’s Connie Chung’s birthday, and their energies would be better served on that. Connie’s cool.
Legomancer, you speak for me. Birthdays were never a big deal when I was a kid, and I’ve kinda carried that feeling into my advanced years. It’s not like I’ve done anything that deserves recognition - I survived another year in the wilds of suburbia… Yeah, and???
I’m not depressed about getting old - it beats the alternative. I don’t hide my age - I’m 47. I like for my husband and daughter to acknowledge it - a hug is just fine by me.
Of course, I don’t decline gifts freely offered. January 23. My favorite color is red.
Whenever my birthday comes around, I celebrate by getting into arguments with my parents. Happens every year. I don’t think it’s something that people should make a big deal out of; I never throw parties or anything, but I still like getting presents.
I don’t want a party, and I don’t need the gifts, but just to have one person say “Happy Birthday” before saying “Merry Christmas” would be nice. I don’t care about the party, never had one growing up, why break the cycle? And I am not concerned about getting older (42)as age is a non-issue to me.
I wholeheartedly agree. At work they have a tradition of decorating the birthday person’s desk, sprinkling it with confetti, etc. I’ve made it clear that my birthday is NOT to be celebrated, or even acknowledged. Not for any particular reason, except I HATE being the center of attention (unless by MY choice).
FairyChatMom, mine’s the day after yours. Next year is a bigg’n – I turn 40. (ULLLPPPPP!)
I know age doesn’t matter, but I’m just coming to terms with the fact the young lady I feel I am is trapped in the body of a middle-aged woman.
I’m with you, too. I’ve always preferred a mellow, intimate evening out with friends and loved ones over a big-ass party on my birthday. I like private, low-key celebrations.
You see, I don’t even want that. It’s just a day, just leave it be. I don’t want a special dinner or a nice phone call, I don’t need any of that. And I’m not some kind of freak for not wanting it.
I agree. My birthday is coming up soon and I really don’t care all that much. Every year, I just kind of acknowledge the fact that I was able to live another whole year and go on with my day. A few friends call me up to say happy birthday and it’s complete. I hate big parties and, as odd as this sounds, being the center of attention (unless I did something to deserve it).
I would choose labor day, so people would be out having a picnic etc. instead of messing with me. I’m not belligerent, it’s just that after 21, what are birthdays anyway? Just reminders that you’re older. My knees do that to me every day. I’m with you, Leg, just drop it. And no, I’m not telling anyone when MINE is. Too many people know already.
Someone made me think of this. I don’t want to sound like a total churl on my birthday, and I understand people only mean the best, but I HATE talking on the phone. I hate it. So the non-stop phone calls on my birthday aren’t a nice present, they’re a long string of what I hate. But I know that’s just me being a freak.
Definitely not. Even the private celebration thing is more than I like to do. For example, this past birthday, I went out the night before. No mention was made of what the next day was. I’m pretty sure my friends didn’t even remember it was my birthday [sub]the bastards[/sub]. And I sorta liked that. Being the center of attention’s just not my thing.
I spent my birthday sleeping in and exercising and goofing around online. Woo! But it was what I wanted to do.
I detest talking on the phone, too. Posting like this, and ICQ and e-mail suit me much better.
I’m not antisocial, either. These are just two of my more antisocial-ish quirks.
Hey Legomancer, we share the same b-day… But we definitely celebrate it differently. I want the biggest, baddest party my friends can afford! Beer, Scotch, strippers, limos… bring it on, baby!
Oh, by the way, that’s what I want pretty much every night… why should my birthday be any different?
Well, speaking as someone who threw a Dopefest for her own birthday, I can’t say I share your sentiments, though I do understand them. I love being the center of attention, but I don’t expect other people to do something for me, so I throw myself a birthday party. But my best friend is the opposite, she hates making a big deal out of her birthday, so I usually just get her a present and make no more mention of it.
It always astonishes me when people are astonished to discover that we’re all different. What one person likes, another might detest. That’s what makes life interesting, the infinite variety of human experience.
My birthday was never a big deal. Too close to Christmas to have a party or get presents. All my friends were born in spring and summer and they’d get awesome parties, so I’ve always felt vaguely like I missed out on something. I wish it WOULD be a big deal, just for one year, so I could feel like I’d had a birthday party.
My birthday is just another day in my life, God knows I’ve been through enough of them. All I need to be satisfied is a hug and a smile and a “Happy birthday daddy”. Then I’m in heaven.
I fall somewhere in the middle. I like for my family and friends to recognize the day (we usually have dinner and cake at my parents’ house). But I don’t like to make a huge deal of it (if it were a “milestone” age or something, that’s fine). What I hate is when a friend will say, “For your birthday, I’m taking you to [insert place that I would positively hate to go].” If I say no thanks, I’m accused of being anti-social and ungrateful. That’s not it at all. What I enjoy is sitting around the house, playing board games, going to the movies, and other “boring” stuff like that. If you want to make my “special day” truly special, then spend time with me doing what I enjoy doing. Or, if you don’t like that, send a card. But don’t give me a gift you know I don’t like and try to force me to enjoy myself.
(okay, that turned into a mini-rant…sorry about that)
I don’t care much either way, but I will say the one thing I have always wanted is a suprise party, just once. I do like being wished “Happy B-day”, and if nothing else it’s a good excuse to blow off work.
I don’t think it’s something that people should make a big deal out of; I never throw parties or anything, but I still like getting presents.