If they have never said anywhere along in the relationship that they can not have sex with another person, then there should be no problem. However, if it has been implied that they are monogamous and one of them has sex with another person, male or female, gay, straight, bi, whatever, the point is that a trust has been broken. It is cheating.
UncleBill, that’s an interesting analogy, I hope you didn’t think I was screaming.
My argument is precisely with the unspoken contract, and really, Ace309, I did understand what you were getting at.
I do believe that in this particular backward society, (America, 2003 - I can’t relate anywhere else) issues of fidelity and trust are too often unspoken. It is why we must constantly try to break down the “unspoken” aspect of our relationships and explore what each partner desires no matter what the gender. We are programmed from birth to believe many things, some are in conflict with our given biological urges, others for the greater good and preservation of society as a whole.
We can only grow through dialog, illustrated nicely in the OP: “This came up in a polite conversation”, “No explicit “ground rules” are set”, A gives B his ‘acquiesence’…
Yes, A and B do have a “contract”. A, (depending upon his feelings about this), may feel “cheated”.
I concur with ProjectOmega, and of course any mention of STDs complicates the situation.
I agree. Ideally, it would have been explicitly stated, rather than implied, that the original relationship was to be monogamous, but since most people default to monogamy, I think it’s the responsibility of a polyamorous person to state that up front. And if you’re polyamorous and bisexual, it’s only the most basic of honorable behavior to let your potential partner know, so that they can decide whether or not to get involved with you under those conditions.
When I first read the thread title, I thought of part-time employment where bi orientation would be a prerequisite :rolleyes:
Ooh, what if you lied to get the job? There’s a screenplay.
Since everyone here seems to agree, I’m wondering what was the argument the person in the polite conversation came up with (I can’t think of any, other than it wasn’t an offical monogamous relationship, in whch case sex with a guy would be equally ok).
Some people apparently just feel that bisexuals are entitled to one SO of each gender, or at least are entitled to mess around when they’re in the “other” mood.