Bitchface, do not block my driveway

The BBQ Pit
1

So, I’m minding my own business, heading out to work this morning. As usual, my street is FULL of parked cars that appear twice a day due to the elementary school down the street. I get into my car (parked in my driveway) and realize I forgot my iPod, and run back inside. I return and just as I open my car door, a large blue minivan pulls up across my driveway and stops. I make eye contact with the driver, so I know she sees me getting in my car.

She puts her car in park. I stand up, and call out, “You can’t park there.”

She gets out, and replies, “I’ll just be five minutes.”

I blink, then calmly say, “You’re blocking my driveway. I’m leaving right now.”

“I’ll just be five minutes.” And yes, she starts getting her brats out of the car.

I literally can’t belive I’m having this conversation. “I have to go to work. Not in five minutes, now. Please move your car.”

“There’s no where to park on this street. I’ll just be five minutes.”

I hold up my cell phone. Is she really arguing with me? Am I in the twilight zone? “The Belmont police department is 6 blocks from here, the WILL be here before you get back.”

“Fuck you!” She screams at me. In front of her kids!

“Move. Your. Car.”

I begin dialing. Back in the car the brats go, she starts the engine, yelling obscenities at me the whole time. My neighbor comes out to ask me if I’m okay as bitchface peels off (on a narrow, sidewalk-less residential street full of kids walking to school, btw).

These parents drive me up the friggin’ wall. Who the fuck is she to expect me to be late to work so she can park across my driveway? Apparently one of them parked IN my neighbor’s driveway, and when confronted the woman complained there were no other shady spots on the street. Yes, God forbid you leave your Mercedes in the sun for 5 minutes.

AAAHHHRRRGGHH.

2

What a tool! Way to give an example for her kids. We, too, live near a school, but not near enough for the imbecilic parkers to annoy us. However, the homes nearest the school must put up with blocked driveways and people actually parking in their driveways to unload kids. I feel so sorry for those homeowners!

Another lamebrained trick they pull is to do a Y-point turn right in the middle of the busiest part of the street (filled with traffic and kids), rather than just driving around a short block to get back to the main cross street.

3

Get some stickers made up that say something like “This Car is Parked in an Unauthorized Spot”. Make sure that they are fairly difficult to remove. When there is a car blocking your driveway, place one on the drivers side window. Simple and effective.

4

SF DPT actually has a PDF of these available online for just this purpose. Well, not the sticky part, but I do like the fact I can give them something in writing with the DPT logo on it.

I used to live right off Geary, and while you have to be a bit lenient in San Francisco, if I truly can’t maneuver my car around yours, I will knock on the door of the people upstairs, and then I will call DPT and have you towed. There is no room for people to be oblivious to parking in SF, and if you are, you need to be re-trained. Quickly.

5

Reposted from my LJ.

6

That’s some really big nerve she has, there. I pine for a world where if you backed straight into her van, pushing it out of the way, you would be in the right, no questions asked. Bigger bumpers - that’s the ticket. Those police flyers are cool, too. Makes me want to make up my own local copies.

(We live by a school too, but around the corner - we won’t buy a house right near a school, for exactly these reasons. My blood pressure couldn’t take dealing with so many “entitled” people all the time.)

7

You should have called the cops and had them towed right there and then. They had their chance to not park in front of your driveway, and they chose to do it anyway. Fuck 'em. Let them deal with the consequences of their actions, and maybe they won’t do stupid shit like that any more.

I’d have had them towed, to Tijuana if at all possible.

8

Wonderful how oblivious some people can be, isn’t it? And of course it’s so much nicer when they become abusive when it’s called to attention that they’re acting like inconsiderate assholes. What a charmer, Obsidian! And what wonderful lessons she is teaching her children!

I had a wonderful encounter a week ago when our historic neighborhood threw its annual homes and gardens tour. The weather was cold and gray but there were hordes of people out for it. Now keep in mind this bash takes place across about five blocks, and they provide trolley shuttles around the whole route for the duration of the tour. They also have trolley stops at several parking lots and the municipal parking ramp, so it isn’t like there aren’t easy options.

But no. An arrogant idiot decided he would just park in my driveway. I’d run out to the store and came home to this putz’s car parked halfway to my house.

So I blocked him in.

I had to schlep the bags the extra distance to the side porch, but small sacrifices must be made. Then I just settled in and got comfy for the afternoon. Oh, he did ring my doorbell a few times by early evening. This was between pacing back and forth, shouting at passersby, “Is this your $%^@# car? You’re blocking me in!”. Then he shouted into his cell phone for a while.

Did I mention it had started to rain?

I’m pleased to say the police didn’t exactly rush in response to his no doubt reasonably worded request to have my car towed. After he’d ranted at them for a few mintues I strolled outside. The twit was so stupid he started yelling obscenities at me for not answering the door. The cops didn’t like that. They let me move my car so he move, but they had him park right beside the house so they could talk to him. He was still shouting and ranting. And the car was still there the next morning because the cops took him away in handcuffs.

It was sweet.

9

“So shines a good deed in a weary world.” :smiley:

10

That story Rocks TVeblen! To the OP, those are the times when I wish an M1 Abrams tank was street legal. Wait until asshat and asshat brats are safe, then run over the offending vehicle. Whoopsie! Did I bump you? :smiley:

11

Obsidian and TVeblen, I love the way you both handled your situations.

Probably not surprising, huh? :wink:

12

In an apartment complex we used to live in, each resident only had one parking spot. If they had a guest, the guest had to park on the street. This one apartment next to us didn’t think the rules applied to them, they would always use our spot. After my mother would repeatedly tell them not to use our spot, they still would.

So one day, after a long day at work, someone was parked in our spot. Being fed up at this point, she just started to honk, and honk, and honk, for a good five minutes. The woman, (the same one that’s been doing it this entire time) runs out of her apartment to her car, cussing, and then finally backs out. My mother just looks at her and says, “I told you not to park in my spot.”

No one EVER took her spot againl.

13

It’s amazing how a few inconsiderate assholes make things so much harder than they need to be.

My wife is from San Francsico, and we go back there on a semi-regular basis to visit her mother and to hang out. Given how bad parking can be, it’s always amazed me how patient and considerate most San Franciscans are about it. Anyone who has a driveway and a garage knows that there will be cars parked very close to the edge of the driveway, and it may be that getting your car in or out of your garage can be a rather tight fit. But as long as people don’t actually block the driveway, everything is cool.

But people like the dopey bitch mentioned in the OP, and Troy’s perpetrator of parking assholery, just make the whole thing more unpleasant than it needs to be. Sure, if you have to drop your kids off, then stop where you can. But if you’re blocking someone’s driveway and that person wants to get out, then it’s your fucking responsibility to get out of their fucking way and go around the block or find another place.

I just wish that every situation like this was resolved like TVeblen’s example. That’s just priceless.

14

The County where I live does that to cars that park on snow routes. 8 1/2" by 11" stickers that is put on the the drivers window. They must be an absolute bitch to get off. I don’t know if a fine is involved or not, but it’s pretty clear when someone has fucked up.

15

Or just pull out of the spot, wait for the guy to go to work, and then just park there again after he’s gone. How fucking hard is that? How much more time did she waste being a piss-poor example to her kids, instead of acting like a reasonable, accomodating human being?

16

TVeblen, have I mentioned to you that you are my hero?

17

There’s an elementary school four doors down on my street, too, but that’s not the cause of my parking hassles. What is the cause of my parking hassles is that, somehow, my driveway seems to be a magnet for idiots who are for some reason compelled to block it when parking on the street. I don’t know why, because there are generally plenty of normal parking spaces open on my street, but everyone, from moving vans, to the UPS guy, to appliance deliveries, to the cable company, to Ordinary Joe seems to feel that the most desirable place to park is right at the foot of my driveway. Even when there are open spaces on either side. It’s just plain odd. There’s never been a towing incident yet, because they don’t necessarily stay there very long; usually just long enough to momentarily inconvenience someone who’s trying to get in or out, and once that’s accomplished they’re on their way.

TVeblen, that’s a wonderful story!

18

Great stories, Obsidian and TVeblen. I’ve had to deal with this once, too, only it was with someone I live with. The sense of entitlement of some people really galls me. The asshat I live with is my brother in law, who insisted on parking in our space, then got pissed when we parked behind him. He bitched at us to move our car, as he was getting ready to leave. Thinking he was going to move immediately and then we could park in our spot, we went out to do so. No dice, so The Highwayman moved the car back to blocking him. The expletives were charming, and the situation ended with dumbass trying to ram our car. Some people, man!

So, I feel your pain, both of you.

19

I think the OP is kinda linked to a syndrome I’ve noticed regarding shopping centre parking - that is, it always amazes me how people will do 3, maybe 4 laps of a parking lot just hoping to get a spot near the main entrance. And yet, invariably, they’ll have passed up the opportunity to park in a spot some 200 yards further away.

I mean, for crying out loud, how much harder is it to walk an extra 200 yards? But noooooooooooo… gotta get that spot right by the doorway! MUST. GET. THAT. SPOT!

So me personally? If I was tasked with the school drop off job in a street system like the one described above? Man, I’d be looking for a cool place to park and turn around up to 500 yards away. No big deal in my opinion. Kids can walk that far no worries at all. And I’d be happy to get out of the car and walk with 'em too - all part of the fun in my opinion.

Sadly, 99% of the car driving population don’t have my same outlook.

By the way, nice OP.

20

Say what??!! Lenient?? Maybe on the Fulton side of the park, but on the Lincoln side woe be unto the poor bastard that parks blocking a driveway. There are practically no spots in my neighborhood, and those of us fortunate enough to have a driveway and garage naturally take exception to the practice. I’ve heard neighbors shouting at cars in the street to move or be towed.

Anyone blocking my driveway such that I cannot get out gets an immediate call to the DPT. I do not have enough room to get out of the garage if anyone is even close to leaning into the driveway, and anyone parking there would realize that right away. On times when people block my driveway, then stroll over for a day in the park, their cars are not there when they get back. I can’t believe you drove around looking for a spot, even considering Cala <!>. You are more patient than I.