I usually had a valid reason for being out, when I called out. Even if I was just needing a mental health day, it was usually valid - as in I was going to have a complete mental breakdown if forced to go to work that day. I typically have a good enough relationship with my bosses to tell them exactly why I’m not coming in. So, I’ve actually told a boss, “I’m not coming in today because I just can’t deal with so-and-so today without completely flipping out on their worthless ass.”
I find that the truth usually works pretty well.
I once called in sick because I had poured scalding hot water on my crotch and it hurt to walk.
I called in sick to school once (college) because I had two flat tires - one on each vehicle. It was 3:30AM and I had just been towed back home from the Vet ER so there was no way I was dealing with them before school (I had to be up for school at 6am). Luckily for me, school was cancelled because of a “snowstorm” which only left about 2" of snow on the ground. I still have no clue why they cancelled school that day but it was very good timing because it kept me from missing a lab. We ended up having to buy a floor jack and 6 different socket sizes before we were able to change the Jeep tire. The Jeep tire could be fixed. The car tire had to be replaced. With the Vet ER bill, it ended up being a very expensive Friday.
When my first husband and I were married, we lived in a townhouse apartment with double cylinder deadbolts on both doors - you needed a key to unlock from inside or outside. One morning, he was called in to deal with some big hubbub at his most distant store, which was about 60 miles away. Apparently, in his state of early morning confusion, he grabbed my keys off the entry table, having already put his own in his pocket. I got up at my usual time, got ready for work, and realized as I tried to leave that I was locked in. Now, if it had been some big emergency like a fire, I certainly would have gone through a window, but to go pull a four hour shift waiting tables, at 6 months pregnant? Yep, called the manager and told her that I wasn’t coming in because I was trapped inside. (Besides, my husband also had my car keys on the same ring. And yes, we got spares of everything that evening.)
Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth (early 80s) - before the advent of ubiquitous home video equipment , etc., I would call in sick if a particular film (usually Joan Crawford or Bette Davis) was going to be on “Dialing for Dollars” or “Million Dollar Movie”.
I called out [and emailed the vid from my cell phone] because the storm had knocked down a tree on our street that dropped a live electric line into the mouth of our single car wide driveway and every time it bounced it set the debris on the ground on fire, and then the rain sort of doused it just enough to keep it from spreading. It got knocked down at about 3 am, the electric company didn’t bother getting around to our street for another 13 hours. The neighbors and us had essentially made impromptu signs/barriers out of plywood at set them up back by the only roads in either direction that could be used as detours to keep people from driving to the spot where the wires were down and having to back up a mile or more to get around the wires that were down in and across the road.
Two from my coworkers. One guy did several hours of gardening while in sandals and sunburned the tops of his feet so badly that he couldn’t wear shoes, which is not good when you’re supposed to be in court. Another got her car stuck in her garage because the power was out, and either didn’t know she could open it manually or wasn’t able to because she’s about 4’11".
That is awesome. I’ve never heard that before! Now I just need to get a job so I can use it. Somehow I don’t think my Spanish professor would be amused.
I take mental health sick days whenever I feel the need and have done so at every legal job I’ve every held, so I am well versed in appropriate excuses. Anything related to law enforcement has worked without question. My personal favorite, “I have to go bail out my father,” when used during my university days, granted time-off, paper extensions, and on one splendid occasion cab fare. I don’t question students who call in because the police are searching their apartments or they have to bail someone out of jail, though I know they could well be lying.
Okay, this one just reminded me of a high-school one. My mother gave me a permission slip to leave early because I had an appointment. When my teacher asked what the appointment was, I replied that I had to go see a man about a horse. This set my table-mates laughing (my homeroom was also a science lab) and they all agreed that I was telling the truth.
He didn’t like it but he accepted the excuse. I left early to go riding with some friends who had graduated a couple years ahead of me. My grades were good so my mom let me go as a birthday treat. She was pretty cool that way sometimes.
My attendance these days is the best in the office, but there were a few times I excused myself for frivolous reasons. Back in the pre-Ticketmaster days, I called in sick on a Saturday so I could stand in line to get tickets for The Who. Once the first day of Spring, when it was just too friggin’ nice to go to work, I called in sick from the pay phone at Henry Coe State Park. (I was worried that the birds singing in the background would give me away, but my boss never said anything)
I called in sick once…so I could work. I was scheduled to be in Chicago for another mind-numbing meeting. I wanted to work instead (I work out of my home) so I called in sick.
My asshole boss was po’d and told me I needed a dr. slip. I have a friend who has migraines so I knew the symptoms, voila, an idea was born. I just needed to go to the doc for some “reason” to get the permission slip.
Little did I know that by faking a migraine, I got a shot or Toradol and something else in my rear end. Won’t do that again!
I was appearing in court as a witness for a friend who had a former mutual acquaintance file a false police report against him and his wife, mostly just to be a vindictive bitch. Long story, don’t ask. I didn’t want employers asking either, so “sick” was much easier all around.
I once called in because I was stupid that day. (hungover, couldn’t find my glasses or shoes or carkeys and how the heck did I manage to get pics of kitteh wearing my bra cause I didn’t have scratches on my hands.)
Thats all I said, “I can’t come in today because I’m too stupid to work.”
The next day, my boss said that he’d never heard that one before. I was kinda proud, he had been managing fast food places all of his life and I had managed to find a new excuse to not sling pizza dough around.
Not sick, but I called in with a personal problem once because my cat had hemolytic anemia and needed an emergency blood transfusion. She actually ended up getting two that day.
Not work; law school. I used to live in an English basement apartment. UPS delivered several large boxes to my upstairs neighbor–large as in one of those foamy beds large. They were dropped between the stairwell and my front door, effectively blocking it (it would only open about two inches). My back door led to a yard with a very tall stockade fence and a deadbolt-locked gate. I was completely stuck. I knew I was on call that day, called the prof’s assistant, told her what happened, and got her assurance she’d beg for forgiveness on my behalf. Prof was great about it—she got quite a kick out of it and shared it with the class that day.
I’m pretty sure I started a thread about it here on the Dope, but can’t find it.
ETA: Whoa, Google searches are amazing. My first Pit thread, from 2002:
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Turkey truck rollover on the primary roadway. We sat in traffic for about an hour before I gave up, drove back home, and called in. For more than a few years I was teased about “Bad Reasons to Call In”.
I haven’t called in hungover since 2009, but when I did, I’d just say I’m feeling ill, which is true. I leave why I’m feeling that way out of the conversation altogether. The boss usually remarks that I sound like shit because I do. Other than that, I don’t really call in to miss a day, as my time off is otherwise planned. I called the day off once unexpectedly when my car was towed, but I didn’t feign illness.
Edit: No, I lie. As soon as I hit ‘submit’ I thought some things. These were both at the same job where the bosses seemed to think time off for anything other than crippling injury was no reason to take off: Called in sick to go drinking, then another time I called in sick to interview for another job (which I got).
