It is absolutely infuriating to get into a nice rhythm playing cards, only to be interrupted by some idiot staring blankly at his cards wondering what to do.
Look: you had all the time do decide what to do as the dealer was making her way around to you. Now that she’s looking at you for a clue, you are baffled?
This is not your game, ma’am.
And while I’m at it: You, older lady chain smoking the Marlboros? The dealer needs you to make an explicit hand signal. This little twitch you’ve perfected that looks like the tail end of a petit mal may be all you’re capable of, but you can hardly blame the dealer for giving you a card, considering the the last six times you used that twitch you also got a card. Ah, but I do see the difference: this time, you busted, so now you want to claim you meant “stay.” And you figure if you make enough fuss the pit boss will give you your way.
Which he does.
Finally, drunk guy: I’m not your friend just because we’re both from the US. And I don’t want to visit a strip club, but thanks for the invitation. And no, the “ball and chain” doesn’t have me “whipped,” although I do appreciate the trenchant relationship advice from someone so obviously well-qualified to give it.
Dealer: Nineteen.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: [deals another card] Twenty.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: [deals another card] Twenty-one.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: [deals another card] Twenty-two.
Homer: D’oh!
– Know when to say when, ``Brother from the Same Planet’’
I have to admit, both my friend and I have ‘frozen up’ at blackjack tables…its not that we are bad at addition, just that the alcohol in our bodies has muddled the processing in our brains enough to get ‘stuck’ on a potential decision. An impulsive decision that goes badly is always going to have a lot of regret following it
But blackjack players can be wierd sometimes, especially if you are just a newbie
You really need to meet the gentleman at the $3/$6 poker table who has to ask the dealer how much he can bet. Every freaking hand! And he’s been playing for three hours!
I have to admit that on one or two occasions I’ve been the drunk guy, chain smoker (though I motion with non smoking hand), and the guy who feels it necessary to recommend what everyone to do with every hand. “Yeah, man, you definitely have to stand on that 20. There ya go, good call, good call.”
Oh, and if the player next to you hits their hand and breaks it, thus taking the card you needed to make twenty-one, don’t bitch the dealer out. The dealer can’t tell the lady not to hit her hand.
True story- once when I was dealing blackjack, after getting his first two cards, he hit his hand, and I dealt him a ten. He hit again, and busted. His first two cards turned out to be a seven and a four.
Some people just shouldn’t play blackjack.
(The Mango ties her fingers down now to avoid hijacking this into a “people who shoulcn’t play craps” thread)
As a bad blackjack player myself, and on behalf of bad blackjack players everywhere, I feel compelled to respond.
First though, to get into character, I will need about nine of those courtesy drinks. I’ll have two daquiris, a margarita, four beers, a whiskey sour, and a long island iced tea.
That’s nine.
Okay, here we go:
Fuck you, Sir! Let’s see you count to 20 when you’re as fucked up as I am. The reason I am making indeterminate hand gestures is because I can’t see my cards and an intelligent dealer know when to hit me and when not to without fucking up the table.
If you leave me to count and make my own decisions, I will consistently hit with the dealer showing face cards and nobody else at the table has them. I will hit and get that jack that would have busted the dealer. Instead he got a five and now has 21.
And it’s even worse to bitch out the player. Many people tend to only remember the times when the guy on third base made a bad choice and pulled the card that would have busted the dealer. What they never remember is all the times people take a hit when they “shouldn’t” and it ends up saving the whole table.
Anybody is welcome to play blackjack anyway they want. If someone chooses to hit on 18 every time he is only hurting himself. Somtimes the play will result in the dealer getting a card beneficial to the table, sometimes it will hurt the table. It’s basically an even chance, so don’t bitch anyone out… you just look like a jerk.
Also-- be careful listening to dealers’ advice. Many of them don’t seem to understand basic strategy or probabilities very well. For instance, many will tell you that taking even money (insurance) when you and the dealer both have blackjack is a good thing. It is not. They will often tell you when you surrender with a 16 against a dealer’s 10 that it is a bad move; a “sucker’s bet”. Wrong again.
Note-- those examples are not taking counting into account. Sometimes, a certain count will dictate that you should actually take insurance or split tens. This happens rather rarely and you have to be a really good counter to know when to make these adjustments to basica strategy.
I’m a blackjack dealer. I work for a company that sends us to private parties, charity events and the like. I make it explicitly clear that my table must give me hand signals because half the time the DJ has just discovered that his amps go up to 11 and I can’t hear their drunken mumbling. Every new person who sits down gets the same lecture. Me: “This means ‘hit me’ and this means ‘stay.’ You have to signal because I can’t hear you and I don’t read minds.”
What drives me nuts is the people who play my table all night and still ask me on every other hand, “What is this chip worth?” :wally Get with the program, moron, or get off my table.
And while we’re at it, if I ask you not to lean on the table so you don’t spill your drink, for God’s sake don’t lean on the table or you’ll spill your drink! :smack: Usually on me. I got an ice cold glass of zinfandel in my shoe on my first job.
A) Insert [brackets] in that post so I don’t break board rules… not that the spirit of the board rules, nor Scylla are likely violated.
From I love me, vol 1:* “Many people tend to only remember the times when the guy on third base made a bad choice and pulled the card that would have busted the dealer. What they never remember is all the times people take a hit when they “shouldn’t” and it ends up saving the whole table.”* Well said and very true.
[ul]
III- I only play craps when I’m drunk. If I’m slighly tipsy, it’s blackjack, cuz I can remember basic strategy quickly at .231, no more no less. If I intend to win, rather than hope, then POKER is the obvious choice. It requires a BAC of 0.0.[/ul]
