Blackwater Changes its Name

In shift, Blackwater dumps tarnished brand name

Ooo, ooo! I’ve got it: How about Red Sand?

Epitaph on an Army of Mercenaries

These in the days when heaven was falling,
That hour when earth’s foundations fled,
Couldn’t hack the consequences
So changed their name instead.

Their contract in Iraq has ended,
They fired into a crowd, but hey!
The logo must be what offended,
They’ll change it and come back some day.

I don’t know, there’s a certain element of nobility to their new name.*

  • Fucking morons, the periodic table police will be after them for sure now; have their asses for breakfast, you Betcha!

I have always worried about these professional mercenaries. What happens if the highest bidder is not the US? Or what if the US hires them to patrol our streets?

It just smells like shit.

I posted here about six months or so ago in a thread about company or product names (I can’t seem to penetrate the brackishness that is search right now) that time or fortune had created bad associations with and was castigated by someone who didn’t realize I wasn’t talking the name’s origins but the dark, nefarious and murky things with which Blackwater had become associated with.

I guesss I was right.

ETA: Found it.

A name change doesn’t matter. They are still the same people, doing the same things. A turd won’t smell any better just because you don’t call it a turd anymore.

But what if you called a turd a “toilet kitten?” Think about it, a toilet kitten. Who hates the smell of kittens?

They should obviously change it to “Ravenwood,”* am I wrong?

*The lightly fictionalized Evil Security Contractor in the TV show “Jericho”

Sure, 'cause “Xe” doesn’t sound evil at all.

Wasn’t Z that Bitmap Brothers game that took like 12 years to make and was predictably obsolete when it finally came out?

Prince, Nike, now Backwater.

Eh? They changed their name in 1978. Were they a big deal already?

Stay tuned for another exciting episode of Blake Hatton, Agent of Xe.

Nice job on the poem parody.

Also funny, albeit in a disgusting sort of way.

In that case, shouldn’t it be spelt “Xed”? :slight_smile:

Seriously though, “Xe” sounds more like a Chinese Energy Drink or an Alien race from the Half-Life series. On the other hand, that is still arguably an improvement over a name that sounds like a swamp or a symptom of serious Malaria cases.

Still doesn’t change their reputation, though.

I believe you just observed Muffin having a brain fart. My apologies.

Call it a “Cerebral Air Kitten” and people will find it much more palatable.


“Mercenaries and auxiliaries are useless and dangerous; and if one holds his state based on these arms, he will stand neither firm nor safe; for they are disunited, ambitious and without discipline, unfaithful, valiant before friends, cowardly before enemies; they have neither the fear of God nor fidelity to men, and destruction is deferred only so long as the attack is; for in peace one is robbed by them, and in war by the enemy.”

  • Niccolo Machiavelli

Old red sand, keep on rollin’
Mississippi moon, won’t you keep on shinin’ on me
Old red sand, keep on rollin’
Mississippi moon, won’t you keep on shinin’ on me

Naah, doesn’t have the same rhythem to it.

And that’s why Tamerlane is my favorite poster.

As a (civilian) sailor, I was always rather amused by the name “Blackwater.” I mean under certain circumstances it is a substance that inspires much fear indeed, but definitely not something I’d find inspirational to rally under.

I doubt that there are very many people, they hear the word “America” and the first thing they think of is Blackwater. Some, probably.

But I’m sure there’s a lot of people, hear the word “Blackwater”, first thing they think of is America. And we’re gonna be living shit like that down for a long, long time.