Blair: "I'm not even sorry."

The BBQ Pit
1

May 21, 2003
MARE TRANQUILITATIS, THE MOON
by friedo

Jayson Blair, the shamed New York Times reporter who resigned recently amid accusations of plagiarism and fabrication of facts has declared that he is not sorry, a senior official at Blair’s secret lunar base said here today on condition of anonymity.

Blair, who The Times accuses of fabricating facts and lying about his location in dozens of major articles over the past several months has gone into hiding since the scandal broke, and is observing Earth from afar. He traveled to the moon using a stolen rocket that he obtained when he discovered Jimmy Hoffa’s cryogenically preserved corpse, Blair’s agent said.

According to The Times, Blair lied being in, or even near, the home of American prisoner-of-war PFC Jessica Lynch. “That’s my favorite, just because the description was so far off from the reality…I couldn’t stop laughing,” Blair said. “Also, I’m the most dangerous super-villain this world has ever seen.”

The Fortress of Solitude issued no formal statement regarding Blair’s claim, but said unofficially that they are more concerned with the Lex Luthor threat and insuring that no more energy beings are created by fusing Superman’s DNA with nuclear weapons and hurling them into the sun.

The Justice League, however, issued an immediate response to Blair’s proclomation. “We’re on it,” said Justice League spokesman Harvey Birdman, “we’re sending that gay guy,” who hangs out with Batman.

I’m not worried, said Blair while he polished his giant earth-blasting laser cannon, “I’m going to laugh at them, too.”

2

And here I thought this was going to be about Tony Blair.

Or maybe that chick from The Facts of Life. :smiley:

3

Would you pay $24.95 for his book?

4

Jayson Blair, the New York Times reporter who resigned recently amid accusations of plagiarism and journalistic dishonesty, and Tony Blair, the Prime Minister of the UK, are in fact the same person, a senior official from somewhere important said on condition of anonymity.

Blair from The Facts of Life could not be reached for comment, but Mrs. Garret says she’s a “real bitch.”

5

No, but according to a reliable source, you would.

6

What in the hell is wrong with people? !? I can’t believe how smug this guy is about his actions.

From CNN:

Well, good job, asshat. Wow, what a brilliant idea! If I were one of your parents, I sure would be proud of your ability to deceive and lie, you goat-felcher.

Also from CNN:

Why didn’t he choose the other path? Damn. This guy has some issues stemming from childhood, clowns, Oreo cookies, or something.

[sigh]… Well, not exactly “pit worthy”, but I feel a little better.
LilShieste

7

Here’s a little more on the interview, from the Washington Post’s Howard Kurtz in his Media Notes column:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A17383-2003May20.html?nav=hptop_ts

8

Oops, it’s not his Media Notes column; it’s a separate news article. Neat snippet from the end of it, though:

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A reliable source tells me that Jayson Blair is crazier than a shithouse rat.

10

As it stands, the only thing we really do have proof of is that his mother knits socks that smell.

11

“I was either going to kill myself or I was going to kill the journalist persona,” he said. “So Jayson Blair the human being could live, Jayson Blair the journalist had to die.”

Jayson Blair, the unrepentant sociopathic ass, lives.

A Barbara Walters interview, tell-all book (probably reaching the top of the N.Y. Times bestseller list for maximum irony), job as a pundit for some marginal media outlet - the future’s so bright, he’s gotta wear shades.

12

This is stream-of-consciousness, so bear with me.

Aargh. I’m so mad right now. Doesn’t this twat realize that people are drawing conclusions about all black people based on his stupid actions? Doesn’t he feel like he is a part of the black community in any way? If it was in my power, I would declare him not-black right now. I was upset enough when I heard about it initially, but seeing his stupid anti-social remarks just pushed me over the edge from sadness to anger.

Maybe it’s something that’s hard to understand if you’re not black, and if you do not regularly see your entire race judged on the actions of a few. But this sociopath Blair really pushes my buttons. And I’m wondering what kind of society he grew up in. I mean, pretty much all of the slave descendents in this country feel some level of group affinity. Even the idiots like Al Sharpton obviously feel they are working to benefit the black community (albeit with no small benefit to themselves). But Jayson Blair is acting like… like… like a white person, almost! By that, I mean someone like the Enron execs, someone who doesn’t feel the familial nature of the black community like every single other black person in this country (Africans possibly excepted–but even then they feel affinities to their home countries.). It’s like that feeling JuanitaTech referenced in another thread (search isn’t working right now), of feeling bad when one of us screws up, and feeling, not good, but better when one of us does well, like Colin or Condi.

But Jayson Blair, it seems, is only looking out for number one, never mind the fallback. Perhaps his cheating I could have forgiven, albeit reluctantly. But this totally self-centered nature he’s displaying–to me, that is utterly alien and utterly reprehensible.
In a nutshell, what truly bothers me about this is his total lack of regard for anyone else.

Cross-posted to my LiveJournal

13

Hey, what about scanning his book into PDF format and making it avail on all the big P2P’s?

14

I heard he wrote Colin powells’ weapons of mass destruction evidence for the UN speech.

15

Super Gnat, I think you needs to chill a bit. I, forever being the deluded optimist, feel safe in proclaiming that Blair’s actions do not reflect negatively on black people, but instead reflect negatively on fucking dickfaces.

Besides, all of us white guys know that black people are all hip and stuff. So Jayson Blair is obviously not one of them. :slight_smile:

TwistofFate: :smiley:

16

Yeah, I know this probably won’t usher in a new era of Jim Crow or anything. I was (and still am) pissed off, and felt the need to rant.

17

Though I’m not planning a career in journalism now, I did for a long time, and I maintain a keen interest in the media. The Blair story just chaps my ass for several reasons, and Blair’s “apology” isn’t helping.

What kind of bullshit is “I fooled some of the most brilliant minds in journalism?” The most brilliant minds in journalism trusted him to do his freakin’ job. It’s not like he was an undercover spy.

Is there anyone on the planet who isn’t considering a movie deal? I can’t think of a movie angle that wouldn’t make Blair come off as stupid at best* and at worst a complete unrepentent bastard (plagiarizing work from a former colleague, making up sources, brazenly lying about where he was, and other shit that would have gotten him bounced off a good high school paper.)

*Boiled down to its essence, journalism is asking people questions, looking at stuff and writing down what you hear and see accurately. 'Taint always easy to do it well, but I maintain it’s pretty damn easy to do it right.

18

He would have absolutely no problems fitting in at FOXNews.

Plus, they could use a minority face or two on the air.

19

What a sad, strange little man.

20

Or he could go after Ari Fleischer’s old job.