My mom was silly and went the “Oh,it won’t hurt” route,which it did… Then my mom had LIED to me,which was a much bigger thing than the shot…
I told my kids “Yes,it’ll hurt,but not for long. You can cry or scream,but you can not move.” Then we’d go to Dairy Queen… Seemed to work
When I was a kid, I knew that no matter what the doctor or nurse needed to do, it was going to be done. My mom made it very clear that my options were get the shot (or whatever) or get the shot AND a spanking. No ifs ands or buts. It was ok to cry, but not to fight. I do not understand allowing the young child to have a vote. If the child must be restrained, then restrain them.
I’m no kid but the thing that bothers me is watching the needle go into me. So I’m okay as long as I look somewhere else. But this might not occur to a child. They would watch the needle and seeing it could make the situation more traumatic. So consider telling the child to look at you rather than looking at the needle.
Nitrous Oxide?
Antihistamine?
Yes, I would be desperately unhappy if I lived before modern drugs.
I’ve never done bloodwork on a child, but I’ve given half a billion needles, give or take a few. Bloodwork takes more fiddling and patience, so this will be more of a struggle.
I’m a big believer in distraction. With little kids, I ask them if they’ve seen Frozen, and tell them to freeze like Anna did - then I joke with them that I can see them blinking. When landmarking the deltoid, I’ll ask if they juggle elephants or are Spiderman in their off time. I tell lots of dumb jokes and get the kids to have a race to see who can count to ten the fastest (I cheat). More often than not, we’ve got the kids laughing and the parents are relieved.
However, some kids will just need to be restrained one way or the other to have the procedure done safely. I would never do a needle on a child without having another adult around to give them a hug and help them stay still. Kids can turn on a dime and these needles can cut badly.
Kids will also act differently depending on who accompanies them. I’ve seen kids run circles around one parent (usually the dad, I find) to such a degree that the procedures could not get done safely, but would not say boo when with the other parent (mom) was present.
I don’t find bribery works well - when a kid is panicking, they don’t give a crap about going to McDonald’s after.
Also not a big believer in EMLA - I don’t find it makes much of a difference, but to each their own.
Best of luck!
They can get a needle in if you are crying. I know this from extensive personal experience. Crying isn’t the problem, struggling is. Crying can be involuntary. Don’t tell him not to do something that he may not be able to control whether he does or not. He can’t control whether he cries or feels scared or upset, he can control whether he struggles. It can be really frustrating to be asked to not do something that you do involuntarily.
I’m of the opinion that we should teach our kids that they are in charge of their own bodies and have ultimate jurisdiction over who touches them and why and how. Not even people you are supposed to be able to trust have the right to touch your body in ways you don’t like.
All I have to add is don’t let it get out of hand. We all have to do things we don’t want to do or are scared of. I had an appointment for a depo injection once and the 10-11 year old child before me was supposed to be getting some vaccine for school. He was almost as big as the two women who brought him and he was carrying on like you wouldn’t believe. He actually bolted from the clinic. They had to call the police to corral him and I don’t know what happened when they got him back. While they were all gone I asked the nurse if they didn’t give people who are afraid like that sedatives or something and she replied that that boy wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the parents putting up with it. I can only imagine what that boy will be like two years and another hundred pounds down the road.
In theory and in 99% of real life, I agree. I don’t force my kids to kiss Auntie goodbye, we have a safe word for tickle fights, etc.
But hygiene and healthcare are largely exceptions. No one wants blood drawn, but a child does not have the mental capacity for informed refusal. The child may choose who to have in the room, which arm to use, what color band-aid to have after, but refusing necessary blood draws is not in their realm of choices. (Legally or in parenting strategies.)
I agree with what WhyNot wrote. There are times when being a good parent means forcing your kid to do something they don’t want to do. And undergoing medical procedures clearly qualifies.
I’ve got a scar on the back of my head as a result of my needle phobia–and I wasn’t even getting a shot.
Years ago I was getting FluMist at a drug store that had a shot clinic. I was decidedly not looking at other folks getting shots, but that shit was going on all around me, and my phobia like a prairie dog poked its head up and started checking out the surroundings. I did deep breathing, thought about long poems, all the things i know I can do to calm down–but then it was my turn, and the dear souls who manufacture FluMist dispensers decided to make them look like a hypodermic, and even though I knew it wasn’t one, my phobia said, “Jackpot!” So I told the nurse that I needed to go get a drink of water, and I stood up, and I woke up with EMTs standing over me and telling me not to touch the back of my–oops, too late, now my hand’s covered in blood, and yay ambulance ride and emergency room and all.
No, actually, you CAN’T tell someone with a phobia they should try not to cry. Or rather, you can, but much in the same way you can tell someone pushed out of an airplane they should try not to fall. The phobia takes over and can put the sufferer out of control in a very real way.
There’s some evidence that needle phobias are qualitatively different from other phobias–for example, sufferers often experience symptoms closer to shock than to panic (lowered blood pressure, for instance, is more common for needle phobes than for other phobic folks). There’s some evidence that it might have a genetic component. There’s speculation taht it’s a hyperreaction to introduced toxicity, that people normally have lowered blood pressure when they’re wounded or bitten by a venomous animal and that that’s a good survival trait, but that needlephobes have that same reaction when they’re not facing a threat.
What works for me? Sedation, that’s what works for me. I avoid needles as much as I can, because my menu of reactions is so thoroughly unpleasant (and it has nothing to do with the pain–much more painful experiences like toe-stubbing don’t bother me any more than they bother anyone else) that I want to avoid them at all costs. But when I need to get a shot, I get sedated.
I don’t know if that’s necessary, or even an option, for your nephew.
But there are medical exceptions. What if a diabetic child whose blood sugar has climbed to 400 decides he doesn’t want an insulin injection?
Yep, if the kid don’t want no vaccine, he don’t have to get no vaccine - it is his choice.
Yeah, right. :rolleyes:
Well, he is very much into super hero’s, I’ve told him Spiderman has his shots but his reply is “Noooooooooo” The problem is he’s really a little chicken about other things too.
He lives next door to us and the other evening he wanted me to escort him home because there were a few crickets chirping in the garden. He also has an 18 year old brother who cries like a baby when getting the needle.This guy spends hours shooting shit out of Zombies etc, on his computer, but runs a mile if he see a needle. I blame the parents, if he was my kid he’d be a lot braver about harmless situations.
Have you tried asking him what he thinks would make it possible for him to get the blood drawn? I’ve done that with my older kid when we ran into a situation that totally freaked her out but that wasn’t optional: told her, ‘Listen, this needs to happen, it’s not a choice. What do you think would make it work for you?’ She came up with a solution and whaddayaknow, it worked.
Maybe he needs to wear his superhero costume. Maybe he needs to watch his favourite movie on your phone during the blood draw. Maybe he needs to see ice cream sitting there for afterwards, getting more melty the longer he delays. The point is, the fear is coming from within his own internal logic, not from outside logic. So his own internal logic might be the place to find a solution. Ask him.
This kid needs someone else to take him for his blood draw. I’m not saying you’re a bad person, or even that you’re wrong, but you lack the requisite sympathy needed in such a situation. The kid is most likely picking up on your disapproval and judgement, and that will only make what’s already a difficult situation harder.
If there is no one else to take him, I’m doubling down on the advice that you stay in the waiting room, or at least the hallway outside the blood draw room. Let him at least live with the illusion that you think he’s big and capable enough to handle it by himself by not being there to witness his struggle.
And for goodness sake, do your best to hide your attitude and give the kid a hug when he comes out.
ok- here’s another alternative that we had to employ, because our son is on the Autism Spectrum, with mild to severe behaviors, we had to finally find a way to get his blood drawn because the medication he is on has potentially serious side affects. He is mostly non verbal, and there is no way of communicating effectively for him to understand the why of the situation, he just struggles, fights and gets away.
Our son is very strong, and two grown men and two experienced nurses are NOT able to hold him down, and trying to hold him down made him struggle more and he ended up with a nasty scratch across his bicep from the struggle.
So in the end, we requested a sedative to relax him, took him to the clinic when they were not very busy, and at first he hesitated, but once he watched the blood stream through into the vial, he was fascinated. This may not work for everyone, and some of you might find the having to use a drug to get our desired outcome as extreme, but it was a relief to finally get this nerve wracking task completed.
Just for consideration- that’s my two cents there.
Anxiety disorders, including phobias, are pretty common. Needle phobia is a common one- I’ve seen estimates that between 4 and 10 percent of the population has it. It can have a genetic basis, so it’s possible that his parents are to blame in that sense. If his brother is also afraid of needles, that’s possible evidence right there for a genetically based phobia. If he’s anxious about a number of harmless situations, it’s possible that he does have an anxiety disorder.
Of course, shooting zombies on your computer and getting a needle stuck in your arm are totally different situations, particularly for someone with a needle phobia. Phobias tend to be quite specific.
What’s this shit about hiding my attitude and give him a hug? I hope you don’t mind me telling you that your post is full of crap. There is NO disapproval or judgement. My wife and I love that kid,I admit we do tend to spoil him but are quick to teach him to be polite and well mannered.His Mother works shift work and we feed him because if we don’t he lives on chocolate porridge, and other rubbish food. When it’s time for him to go home we each give him a hug, which is more than he gets at home. His Mother took him for his failed blood test,not me.
I think I could convince him to do it if I took him myself. I’d probably use the bribe method because he looks up to me. My wife says he copies my mannerisms, even the way I walk with my hands behind my back.
Thank you, there are a few good ideas that I will try.