I’m going back to school in June, so I can get my teacher’s certification. But they won’t let me on the college campus until I show them that I’m fully vaccinated, including being vaccinated against the highly contagious tetanus germ. Grr.
This wouldn’t be so bad, except that I’ve got a nasty fear of needles. Bad enough that, for the past two nights, I’ve been taking sleeping pills to get to sleep: I was that worried about my appointment today, at which I’d get the tetanus booster.
The exam was fine; I was able to talk and even joke with my doctor about my fear of needles. When the nurse sat me down for the shot, I was apparently able (without trying to) to fool her into thinking I was calm about the whole thing, even though I was quietly in full-blown panic mode.
The needle entered my arm–I barely felt it–and then it was over, in about two seconds. My relief was astonishing. That’s it? That’s it?! I’d been stressing out, snapping at my wife, losing sleep, experiencing phantom pains, obsessing over that? Piece of cake! I’d overcome my phobia! “You can go,” the nurse said.
And that’s when I realized I couldn’t stand up. “Ummm, I’ll just sit here for a minute,” I mumbled, or at least I hope I mumbled. The nurse probably looked over (my eyes were closed, my head sagging), and quickly brought me a cold rag to press on my forehead. She had to tell me thrice to put my head between my knees before I comprehended what she wanted me to do. I fought to maintain consciousness, even as I thought, “well, THIS is stupid. I hate this.”
A couple minutes later it occurred to me that my rising gorge required attention. I stumbled to the bathroom, four feet from where I sat, but didn’t quite make it there in time. I was a repulsive mess.
It’s several hours later now. I’ve showered, brushed my teeth, used mouthwash. But I still feel woozy. And, depending on what my childhood medical records say, I may have to go back for a measles booster.
AAAAUGHH!
This phobia has been with me since I was eight, at least–that’s when I remember getting thoroughly sick after reading an account of a snakebite, which was close enough to a needle to send me over the edge. I’ve avoided travelling to foreign countries because of this phobia. I’ve lost sleep over it. I’ve humiliated myself over it. I have to leave the room if people are telling their needle stories.
I thought of putting this in the Pit, or in MPSIMS, but it’s here because it ends in a (non-factually-answered) question: have other people had similar phobia experiences–especially with phobias whose object you very rarely encounter, but when you do encounter it, you know days or weeks in advance that it’s coming up? Has anyone here overcome such a phobia? If so, HOW?
Daniel
) Run through this same scenario several times, like a rehearsal sort of. I was really surprised at how this method allowed me to keep more in control of my reactions in stressful situations.
