I was wondering what would happen if someone stupid enough to attempt this were to swallow a very long piece of yarn - let’s say 50 metres long. If the person manages to do that and leave some of the yarn outside his/her mouth… would the other end make all the way through? Would it be possible then to “floss” this person’s insides by pulling and pushing the yarn?
Cecil’s knowledge of anatomy is as limited as all of his science.
What he leaves out is that the digestive system has a series of one-way valves.
- Upper esophageal sphincter - separates pharynx and esophagus
- Lower Esophageal Sphincter (cardiac sphincter) - separates esophagus and stomach
- pyloric sphincter - separates stomach and SI
- Ileocecal valve - separates SI and LI
- Internal anal sphincter - smooth muscle that controls outflow of stool
- External anal sphincter - skeletal muscle that controls outflow of stool
If you try to pull your string back up through them, you’ll be sawing away at the flesh. You shouldn’t be drawing blood when flossing your teeth, and you double especially shouldn’t be drawing blood internally and creating five internal ulcers.
That’s if it didn’t kill you outright. If you click the link in the Cecil column, you’ll find this about a cat who swallowed yarn:
So extreme damage is actually the best case scenario. :smack:
I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
I knew a guy who owned a cat that did something similar. They used to make a turkey with a built in piece of butcher twine to lift it from the oven. A discarded piece of butcher twine roasted with a turkey seemed pretty tasty to the cat, and before the guy knew it the cat had string running out both ends. It was a very pricey vet bill for that one. I suggested that someone with experience starting a lawnmower could solve the problem quickly and cheaply, but they wanted a better outcome for the cat.
I feel really sorry for the cats.
I have read about people with bowel obstructions puking their own poop. Tasty. Wouldn’t therefore those digestive system valves be openable, allowing some flossing movements, rather than just a very very painful one-way pull?
In the film Crumb, Robert Crumb’s brother slowly eats string such that it passes through his body. I don’t remember what the rationale was- something about meditation I think.
Simultaneously and at will? I seriously doubt it.
The valves aren’t the problem - the corners are. The human digestive system is a labyrinth of twists and turns - all of those corners will potentially be sliced by a tightening/moving thread.
So this is why the cats declared their war on string. 
I know a bloke who used to do this with geese. He once had five geese on one string.
No “flossing” though. He’d just cut the string to free the birds and let them poop out the rest of the string on their own. Dumb farm kids…
I call “bullshit” on this one. Pics or it didn’t happen…:dubious:
Can’t help you. As far as it goes, I have only his word on it. I’ll ask him again next I see him, but that’s the most I can do.
I don’t know if it helps any, but he said it was proof of the saying “Quick as grease through a goose,” and that he used chunks of fat with string tied to it. He fed it to the goose, and, “quick as…” it popped out.
(Does it help that I can attest that his family had geese at the time?)
Many years ago I had a cat that cracked open an audio cassette and ate the tape. I would have taken him to the vet, but my funds were very low at the time, plus the cat weighed 27 pounds. So for several days I had to snip off tape coming out of his ass, usually accompanied by turds. It apparently didn’t do him any harm.
And no, I did not play the tape to hear what his digestive system sounded like. A rather dim-witted coworker actually suggested that.
I am actually happy the cat survived :3