Books that should not be made into movies

I understand Hollywood can’t bear the thought of passing up a work that has proven itself profitable in another medium, but really, not everything needs to be made into a movie (such as the board game Battleship, for example). Case in point: They’re working on a production of Cloud Atlas, possibly the least filmable novel of the past decade or so (IMO). The fact that they’ve got Tom Hanks and Halle Berry attached only strengthens my belief that they’re going to totally fuck it up. Another example is Naked Lunch, though I guess that was so loosely based upon the book it was more like “inspired by” than a faithful adaptation.

Any books/graphic novels/etc. you think shouldn’t be (or shouldn’t have been) made into films?

No Tom Wolfe book should ever be made into a film - they would all work much better as a mini-series. Bonfire of the Vanities would have been an outstanding mini-series, yet this epic, sprawling tome was compressed into one highly flawed movie.

Mein Kampf
Das Kapital
Quotations From Chairman Mao-Tse Tung

The phone book

2nd Chronicles

The only way they could even touch A Fire Upon The Deep or A Deepness In The Sky would be as animation, which will never happen b/c kids would never be able to understand it, and Hollywood would never release an adult hard sci-fi cartoon.

A Fire Upon The Deep - there’s just way too much crazy shit for CGI to handle it. Sentient potted plants on little jet packs, dog-like aliens with shared pack-minds, FTL space-warping attacks where the missles are sent to where they think the other ship will un-zip, the blight, the zones of thought, the AI nanobot network countermeasures, the benign transcendant “Power” - no way.

And one of the great surprises of A Deepness In The Sky was the very-late reveal of the…“nature” of the Spider culture, which would be pretty unfilmable.

The Right Stuff was an awesome movie.

World War Z should be a cable series: one episode per chapter.