Every once in a while in pop culture ther comes along an event/fashion/book that is so abysmally horrid that it becomes the guillotine to the entire movement (think 70’s fasion & platform shoes with goldfish in them). I submit the new age spirituality movement and The Celestine Prophesy. Someone gave this to me saying “you absolutely have to read this!” and it left me wondering “WTF made you think I would like this piece of offal?” I have never looked at that person the same way again.
Did you voluntarily take it out of the library to read it? You sick, sick person!
I read Moby Dick this past school year. I threw it across the room only once, and that was the second that I finished it. Our college prep teacher had assigned it to us. I had just come back from a Mexico mission trip, my boyfriend broke up with me, and my father had just been put in the hospital ICU and was dying (all at the same time! Gees) so besides suffering from reverse culture shock, jet-lag, and depression about my dad and my then-ex boyfriend, I was more than 100 pages behind my classmates. It really sucked. Most of it was read in the hospital waiting room, dad’s hospital room, and late at late after returning from the hospital (it was an hour away). It dragged on so long. If Melville had stuck to the plot instead of going off talking about whales and boats in great detail I might have enjoyed it. But then again, I doubt it. I wouldn’t have enjoyed anything. When I finished that book, I just yelled “YES!” and flung it. Then I started crying, but it was a happy cry. Sure, I finished it two weeks after everyone else, but at least I finished the dang thing. Ugh.
What’s wrong with Catcher in the Rye? I liked that book. And not because he swore, just because it seemed real (I know guys like him in real life! It’s funny how alike they are). Sure, he was whiny, but no one is perfect.
I threw Don Quijote across the room the other day. I’ve been reading it for the past two months on and off. I actually enjoyed reading the Spanish version better (it wasn’t as long and got straight to the point, where this one drags and drags).
I have only thrown 1 book in my life. And it had nothing to do with disgust. Never, and I mean never, sneak up on anyone reading “The Shining”. If you’ve read that book, you know the movie is a weak and watered-down shadow of it.
I have never managed to get past page 27 of “Pride & Prejudice”. Am I missing something? Of all of Jane Austin’s books, this is the only one I can’t seem to make it through.
“The Magician” by Sol Stein. Read it back in high school; very well written with an intrigueing plot, but the ending, as fitting as it is, simply makes one madder than hell.
The Waves by Virginia Woolf, but I loved Orlando so I forgive her.
Moe, I just finished reading On The Road last week. I read it in college about 10 years ago and hated it, but really liked it this time around. There is a passage near the end when Sal’s looking at some photographs and comments that their children will one day look at these pictures and not have a clue about the chaos of their lives. I don’t know why, but it really moved me and made the book worth reading.
“Seperate Peace” by John Knowles–good idea, just executed terribly.
Henry James’ “The Portrait of a Lady” and “The Wings of the Dove”.
You’d think I would have known better than to try my luck twice with his stuff.
Never again.
little*bit, keep reading “Pride and Prejudice”, it’s a great, witty novel.
The Turner Diaries. I read this book for a class, believe me. For those not into racist propaganda, TTD is about the coming race war. It was Tim McVeigh’s favorite book, and supposedly he nicked the idea of bombing the Murrah building from the bombing of the FBI building mentioned in the book.
Also, I didn’t throw it across the room, but that was only because it belonged to my roommate’s aunt: Message in a Bottle. Good lord, is that book awful. I read it when I was in Israel, where English books are so expensive that I would read anything free. For some reason, it is on the summer reading list for freshmen and sophomores at a local high school, and so far I have talked two people out of reading it. There are tons of good books on the list, I have no idea whose idea it was to put that hideous tripe on it. It makes me ill. I should write the English department.
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Okay, let me get this straight. If you are a man, you like to deal with things by going to hide in a cave and be a manly man who doesn’t care about the reasons, just the answers. If you are a woman, you are a nurturing, touchy-feely, crier who travels in herds and wants constant reassuring that you’re a good person.
Never mind about individual personalities. Forget that a person’s environment and upbringing have any effect on their thought processes. You are like this because of your physical make-up. You fit in this cage, or you go in the other cage. And if you are not like this, you will be like this by the time you are done reading this crap because I said so.
I made it only half way through when I began to fervently wish I owned a fireplace. Or a coal furnace. Or incinerator. Or trash compactor. Or…
Yeah I did read that line, and I enjoyed that line. There are random lines of depth spread around throughout the book, and they do make it interesting for those moments that you read them. If Jack just multiplied these by about 1000, I think I might think differently.
Actually, I don’t remember the name of the book, which is probably just as well. It was one of those bodice-ripper romances in which the damsel is kidnapped by the burly hero. I was okay with it until he takes her to his tent (a la “The Sheik”) and “makes love” to her even though she is protesting that she doesn’t want him to. Why? Because he knows that deep down she really wants him. And, in her heart of hearts, despite her protests, she really does.
WHAT??? This guy forces himself on her – can you say rape? And she doesn’t really mind because, despite her breast-heaving, panting protests, she really wants it. I threw the book across the room and later threw it away, but only after deciding that the more appropriate disposal method – shredding it and burning it – was too much trouble.
The Rules. Some pompous ass male ex-friend of mine gave me a copy saying that maybe it would help me “learn to be more ladylike in my relationships.” Wish it had been hardcover, I could have thrown it at his head.
As recently as last night - Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
I was actually hoping they would catch and kill that whining protagonist bastard Guy Montag. The only saving grace was that it was a blissfully short book thus it did not cause any damage to my wall.
As soon as I saw the thread title, I thought of this trite piece of pasted together Hallmark cards. What a classic example of media hype gone evil. It occurred to me to wonder if it was some sort of test, “Let’s see how much power we have over people’s opinions. Let’s hype this sad waste of trees until it even appears in the comics and see what godawful pap the public will swallow.”
I truly, honestly hated this book.
I admit I have plowed through several pitiful mystery novels with an undeserved forbearance. A couple of Marcia Mullers here, a couple Amanda Cross’ there. More likely, there wasn’t anything in the house I hadn’t already read several dozen times. (We don’t have tv, and read voraciously.) I can’t even remember the name of the one I chucked across the room last week, it was so bad.
Once, when I didn’t have anything else to read, I couldn’t bring myself to read more than a chapter of Grisham’s “A Time To Kill”.
Mr. Cynical - you are a man after my own heart, I hated Tick-Tock and was disgusted with myself for reading it. I enjoyed a few of Dean Koontz’s books and now hate every single one that comes out, if you have run out of viable ideas STOP WRITING them down.
I didn’t like a book I read called The Zebra Network, I’m not in to spy novels and this was not a good one to start with.
I know I will catch big time crap for saying this but I HATED conrad’s Heart of Darkness. It was boring and long winded, even with how short the book was. Never finished it and still led the class discussion on it.
The latest book by fantasy writer Robert Jordan.
Have you ever been betrayed by someone you truly admired? Have someone promise to give you a beautiful work of art, inly quit half way through? Have you ever wanted to beat that person’s face into a bloody pulp? Like that.
Bastard.
Aspects of Love by David Garnett. I am a huge
Andrew Lloyd Webber fanatic, but this book is
unreadable. The score to the musical was some
of ALW’s best work, but the show has yet to
have a good production.
I can read any book in 24 hours. I started this
one in December and finished it in August.
I have to go with Swimming Riddles on the “Bridges of Madison County” (which sucked from the first page).
I have to add “Jane Eyre” which was so stupid, I wrote a report in high school on why it sucked so bad. I got an A because I was able to support all of my positions.
I didn’t think this book was profane in the least, and Holden wasn’t whiny; cynical perhaps …
Consider yourself pilloried with a pillor with a brick in it!
And while I’m here …
Said it before, and I’ll say it again:
"Conversations With God - An Uncommon Dialogue" by Neale Donald Walsch.
You, too, can write this book in just five easy steps!
Step 1: Become a loser who abandons and doesn’t support his family.
Step 2: Hone your writing skills down to profound dullness.
Step 3: Write whatever stream-of-consciousness drivel enters your mind down on paper.
Step 4: Profess that the aforementioned drivel was God, talking through you.
Step 5: While you’re at it, forgive yourself for what an asshole you were.
At best, God is alive in the world, and He’s a very mediocre author. At worst, it’s absolute blasphemy. Either way, its dung not worthy of flinging across the room, out of respect for the wall.
I gave up on the Lovejoy books a while ago. He can be awfully charming, but he’s an awfully sexist, cowardly bastard too.
But I’ll probably be back…