Presumed Innocent by Scott Turow. Not only was the main character a self-absorbed weasel, but the “twists” the book took were completely unbelievable and the courtroom scenes (I am a lawyer) made me want to tear my hair out.
I’ll never read another courtroom thriller by anyone. Ever.
The problem with Dean Koontz is that he wrote a couple of passable-to-good books, made a name for himself, and then proceeded to pass off all of his earlier pieces of crap as new works. Check his catalogue sometimes – you’d be surprised just how many of his “recent” works were actually written pre-“Watchers”.
I tried reading some alleged classic recently – I believe the title was something along the lines of “Waiting For Cataccio” – about a Vietnam War patrol that heads out across Asia to recover an AWOL trooper on his way to Paris. I think it’s supposed to be deeply metaphorical – the journey may or may not be real – but it just became irritating.
I was violently repelled by “Snow Crash” by Neal Stephenson. Not because of the book - I eventually read it, and it was great. No, the reason I was initially repelled by this book was from the jacket blurbs on the back. Specifically, the name of the main character. I thought that anyone that would actually write a book giving a character that name would be any good.
Now, The worst book I ever tried to read was “Aftermath.” This book was ostensibly written by Levar Burton, better known as “Geordi LaForge” or “Reading Rainbow Guy.” Most books, I’ll manage to get through, but this one I had to give up on. I gave it away to someone with less taste.
Also, the Shannara book (I think it was the first one) was complete and utter crap. I skipped about 300 pages in the middle, and it made no difference at all.
And I also once, in my teen years, tried to read L. Ron Hubbard’s excrable “dekaology” but I had to stop after the first one because I hated every single person in the book. Hell, it made me hate scientology, it was so bad.
Trip (don’t) Fall
You’re not alone, little*bit, I hated Pride and Prejudice as well. This book came so highly recommended that I forced myself to read it all the way through and loathed every minute of it.It had about as much wit as a bag of hockey pucks. Over the course of the entire novel, nothing happens. Oh, look, they’re having tea again. Oh, look, here comes Mr. Darcy. Let’s go for a walk in the park. Let’s write another letter. Whoop-de-doo.
I can’t think of another novel that I hated as much as Pride and Prejudice.
I liked Catcher in the Rye. I mean, for god’s sake, Holden’s a teenager! Of course he doesn’t realize that he’s as phony as everyone he rails against. That’s why he’s so depressed. I really felt for the kid. How can you not like him after you see his relationship with his sister?
I also really enjoyed The Sound and the Fury, so 
Oh yeah, the OP. I gotta go with The Celestine Prophecy there. I didn’t physically heave it across the room, but you know how a book you enjoy becomes a part of you in some way? My psyche gave this one a good Amish shunning. What tripe. What awful writing. What terrible characters. What a follow-the-numbers plot. What dime-store philosophy. Ugh. The utter contempt I had for that book was only increased when I thought about all the Oprah-watching, angel-hug email forwarding types who thought of this go-cart ride as a “spiritual journey”. I can’t even call it a steaming pile of crap, because a steaming pile of crap smells bad, it looks nasty, it has character. The Celestine Prophecy is a tepid pile of wet cardboard or something.
Here’s another vote for throwing that thing in the crapper! Puh-lease!!! “It will change your life!” My ass it will!
Catcher in the Rye is holier than the bible. Don’t talk shit. 
Ayn Rand, “Anthem”
I had to read it in high school. Maybe that’s why I stopped going.
Trip Fall: I’m blazing through Snow Crash right now. I love it. I’m maybe 7/8 through it, and I don’t want it to end. I could read it forever. Or, at least, until I finally get tired of it, which at this rate will be in 2007.
A book I’ve thrown aside: I had David Gerrold’s Chtorr series recommended to me. I bought the first two books, A Matter for Men and A Day for Damnation, at a used bookstore; they didn’t have #3 or #4. I read the first one at a progressively slower pace, wondering why the hell my pal had recommended it. I finished the first, and because I had the second, picked it right up and continued.
Maybe a quarter of the way into Damnation, I said, “What the fuck am I doing? I hate this.” And, from where I was on the bed, I threw it across the room into the pile of detritus on my desk.
The book I just finished was well-deserving of being thrown against the wall: Hannibal, by Thomas Harris (for those of you not in the know, the “sequel” to “Silence of the Lambs.”)
Since I had liked the movie “Silence of the Lambs”, I decided to read this book. I don’t know what Mr. Harris’ infatuation is with the cannibalistic doctor, but the fact that Mr. Lecter has almost godlike powers and manages to mow down everyone in his path repelled me to no end. I’m not the person that needs a happy ending to my stories (in fact I prefer the ambiguous endings), but the conclusion to Hannibal disgusted me.
The Diggstown Ringers. That is the only time I thought that the movie did a better job with the characters and story than the book did. It was only a dollar, I still felt ripped off.
I tried three times to read Moby Dick, no luck. I also got frustrated with Beowolf (hear good things about the new translation though). But for distance and velocity, nothing compares to the steaming pile of “The Client” by John Grisham. That man has perfected his formula so much that I skipped the middle 130 pages and still guessed right. Last thing of his I ever picked up.
Oh, hands down, The Celestine Prophecy is the worst single thing I’ve ever seen published. The writing is worse that anything I’ve encountered in any creative writing class I’ve ever attended in any capacity.
Whenever I consider how long it was on the bestseller list I realize what a sad and desperate lot humanity is, and then I have to go eat a pint of ice cream.
Lolita almost became a navy-blue, cloth covered projectile, but not quite.
I find Jane Austen painfully dull. Same goes for that dreary Bronte clan. I don’t really find books bad, just boring, and to me that is worse than bad.
I had to read The Stone Angel for Grade 11 English class, and I got bad marks for that whole unit because I didn’t see what all of my other classmates saw. They all liked Hagar and I hated her. I wanted to set fire to her hair. I thought she was a mean, selfish b*tch and that she got what was coming to her. Everyone was whining; “Oooh, she had to die all alone in her own regret,” And I was thinking; “She should have lived her days in a way that would have brought no regrets tomorrow. She made her bed and she can lie in it.” Seriously, she wasn’t a victim of circumstance. All of her heartache was because of the way she acted.
I didn’t actually throw it across the room, more let it drop from my hand and hit the floor. It was “N is for Numbingly Boring” by Sue Grafton. Talk about running out of ideas.
I never made it through The Pickwick Papers - also a stunningly dull read.
I made one attempt at Dianetics - ha ha ha! And somebody takes this stuff seriously?!
little*bit, you don’t have to finish P&P, of course - but you might enjoy it more if you saw one of the filmed versions first. There’s a wonderful movie from the 40’s with Olivier (gad, he was gorgeous as a young man) and Greer Garson. The A & E version with Colin Firth is very good, too.
mattmcl, this is a little off-topic, but your mention of “Sedgewick” made a connection in my brain. Have you ever read Gaywyck? It’s a gay version of Dragonwyck - a gothic romance/mystery/something-locked-in-the-attic-novel. It’s a hoot!
Thanks to all for the suggestions re: Pride & Prejudice. I would try to read it all the way through, but it has the same effect on me as Nyquil. Maybe the movie … L. Olivier was quite the hottie…
Has anyone read Tristram Shandy? I had to read it in college and suffered from the oddest combination of loving it completely, but falling asleep every 3 pages. I kept going because it was brilliant, but all told it took several months to get through.
I’ve thrown an entire bookbag filled with very heavy calculus and physics textbooks, but it was mainly because I was angry with my study partners. (No, I only threw it at the wall when I got back to my dorm.)
I’d have thrown Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad across the room after finishing it, had I actually managed to finish it. Fortunately our English teacher made the mistake of giving us the option to write a report on Apocolypse Now instead if we preferred. And boy, did I ever prefer. It got to the point where I got thorougly bored just opening the book, before I’d managed to look at any individual words.
There are sentences in there that make no grammatical sense either.
And that wraps up post number 100. Time to change the signature.
Books like 1984 bother me, when they’re so good but such frustrating things happen in them that you end up despising the author for writing such a book…
All of those Bronte, Austen type books drive me insane. Wuthering Heights was the worst.
I’m getting really disgusted with Mr. X, Peter Straub’s latest. And he’s one of my favorites too. Sigh.
I’ve tried three times. It’s not bad, the writing is just too – dense. Methodical. Something. Bits and pieces of it are wonderful, but they don’t come together.
I don’t know. But it pisses me off, cuz I think it’s probably really good, at some point.
I never enjoyed To Kill a Mockingbird I think I managed to read only half of it and somehow bluffed my way through the tests. The only part I found interesting was the trial. But then we re-enacted it each of us having set parts and stuff to read from the book. I didn’t throw it across the room though maybe I should have.
I also didn’t like Invisible Man I waded through the first chapter or so but after that I was like “What am I doing reading this? It doesn’t catch my attention and its putting me to sleep.” It was one of the books recommended to me to read but I didn’t like it. I would have tossed it but it was a library book and it was hard cover so it would probably have bruised the wall.
I read on average about 4 - 5 books a week. always have. So, have read (and agree) many of the ones listed here (especially agree with the comments about “Hannibal” by Thomas Harris - I’d acutally read the original, HATE it when they have sequels and change the entire phsycic orientation of major characters) anyhow. can’t believe no one’s mentioned those favorites of 1970’s high school teachers: ANYTHING by Charles Dickens, and/or James Fenimore Cooper. Writing styles may have changed substantially, but I have a hard time believing that even contemporaries could deal with those…
also a book, name escapes me, by a writer name of CHristine MacGUire - absoloutely moronic. It’s a mystery novel, so one would suspect that the audience would be “fans of the genre”, major character the (always) lovely District Attorney, female, who, upon visiting a crime scene - burned out house, where by a dead body is found, but, the victim had been SHOT!!! she writes “now, why would some one burn down the house with the dead body in it, although she instinctively knew the answer…” and, of course, in case you didn’t know, goes on to explain it. argh. never read anything else by her again…