**Or, Avarie537’s first quasi-lesbianish, quasi-swingerish experience ** :eek:
Ok. Thursday night, hubby and I are sitting on the front porch smoking. My dad’s over, and we’ve just finished dinner. We’re chatting away, when two people walk up our sidewalk, completely out of the blue. It’s our ex-roomate “Tim” and his wife “Donna”, who we haven’t seen since their wedding in September. They hang out for a little while, and then drive home, planning to return on Friday.
So they do.
We go out to eat, and then hit the liquor store. See, Donna’s got four (I think) kids from a previous marriage, and this is Dad’s weekend to have the kids. So they can do whatever they want!! Since we knew there would be much drinking, we picked up the spare bedroom, so that we wouldn’t be trying to move stuff whilst hammered.
(Quick Note: Hubby and I are on the Atkins diet, which means we are in ketosis (body burning stored fat). Ketosis = easier to get drunk!!! 
)
In a nutshell, we get good and ripped - and pretty quickly, too. Pretty soon, we’re talking about sex, and Tim and Donna are discussing how they’re just done with the threesome thing, since the last girl they brought home stole $40 and a ring from them. My poor hubby is so jealous - he would LOVE to at least see me gettin’ it on with another woman, even if he didn’t get to join in. I can see the wheels turning in his head.
Fast forward to about 12:00. I’m running around in a lace bra and thong set, my husband’s in his boxers, Tim’s in his tightie-whities, and Donnas still got shorts and a tank top on. Actually, I’m putting on a freaking lingerie show in my living room. Burgundy velvet teddy, white lacey set, etc. Pretty soon, we’re naked. All of us. In my living room.
And I start to feel nauseous.
So I go throw up (first time I’ve done THAT since I was 16), and lay down for a while. Tim and Donna take the opportunity for a quick screw in the other bedroom. My poor hubby - all he wants to do is go get Donna and drag her into OUR bed. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind - I’ve always been … curious myself. But it didn’t happen.
So, we all want to smoke again, but we don’t want to go outside (duh), so my hubby goes out to the front porch (naked, but the light was off) to get the smokes. We run up to the partially finished attic, which is the smoking room in the winter. Somehow, Donna and I end up under a blanket on an old chair-and-a-half we’ve got up there. The boys liked that.
We go back downstairs, and mysteriously ( :rolleyes: ) all four of us end up in one bed - and the girls are in the middle!!! Hands are going everywhere on everyone. And then things get more interesting.
We “paired off” into our respective couples, each doing our own thing. Actually, I don’t know what they were doing, but hubby decided to visit the Pink Pussycat. The next thing I know, there’s an extra hand down there, and then hubby switched girls ( :eek: ) and Tim crawled up for some oral lovin’ from Donna, and leans over and starts kissing me (not a good kisser, I must say).
Things are getting a little weird. Well, not weird really, but this is a WHOLE NEW THING for me.
Donna gets really hot-n-bothered really quick, so Tim slides down and starts going to town. I’m not quite there yet, so hubby goes back down to the Pink Pussycat. They had a quick fuck, and hubby’s still doing his thing, so Tim says (no surprise here), “Hey Donna - why don’t you show him how it’s done.” (I’m a slow goer, and was a little distracted by all of the action.) That was a no-go. Sorry boys!!
Well, the quickie wasn’t enough for Donna, so then Tim makes his way down there. Hubby stops what he’s doing !!! and cuddles up behind me so he can play with Donna’s boobs. And I join him. I had never played with boobs before (other than a quick grab), and I must say, they were rather nice.
I’ve never been in the same bed as a woman who was having an orgasm. Very interesting, I must say. She’s much more vocal than I am.
So we go back upstairs to smoke again. No mention of anyting that just transpired, and we go to our respective beds after that.
THEN I finally get some sex!!
(Here’s where it gets kinda gross. Well, really gross.)
I was on top because, well, that’s what I wanted. But I had to be careful.
See, I’ve had very bad luck with female superior + orgasm = crapping myself, for lack of a better term. When we’re all done, I get up and go into the bathroom, and it’s like I’m trying to change my own diaper or something. I had to flush twice. And clean off the toilet seat. And soil a washcloth. AND put the fitted sheet in the wash. My husband just took a shower.
The moral of the story?
DON’T GET DRUNK ON A FULL MOON FRIDAY THE 13TH WITH YOUR EX-ROOMATE AND HIS BISEXUAL SWINGING WIFE!!!
Unless you WANT to, that is.
The End!!