I am so sorry about Ardy. It sounds like you fought for him, but also knew when it was time to let go.
It’s never easy, is it?
Best of luck to Teddy.
I am SO sorry, honey.
i feel your pain.
Scotti
I’m so sorry about Ardy. I will light a candle for him. -R
I don’t normally do this, but I can’t read all the details right now-it just brings back memories of Fluffy and I can’t…I just can’t.
Athena-best wishes for the kitties. (Now I have to go strangle Misty-DOG FOOD IS NOT A TOY!!!)
i’m sorry to hear about ardy.
{{{{{ATHENA}}}}}
I know how you feel hun, I really do. Maybe Ardy is up there playing with my Sam.
Oddly enough I found this site kind of helpful in dealing with my grief. I think that someone from the SD or Fathom sent me the link. http://www.petloss.com/ Especially read the Rainbow Bridge story, it may make your heart hurt a little while reading it but it’s nice to think our “babies” are doing better than they were when they left us.
It’s never easy to lose you best friend and baby…I hope you are okay
hugs from me and Kitty Alex
I’m sorry, hon.
Oh Athena I am so sorry. Sorry about Ardy, and sorry that you still have to wonder and worry about Teddy.
In the last two years I lost both cats to kidney disease. The first one I left untreated for a long time. I’d got him as a stray and he was a mess, never fully recovered from the trauma he’d been through. It took a while to realize that he was actually sick, and then it was still easy to be in denial. When I finally saw the writing on the wall, he was very very sick and I had to have him put to sleep at the emergency vet. I felt guilty as hell. The thing was, up until that last week, he really did seem like himself. He looked sick, but he was still doing the same old things. I take some comfort in that.
When the next one got sick, I got her diagnosed and treated right away. And I had a choice here–cats live like this all the time, and with special food, appetite stimulants, and sub-q fluids who knows how long she could stay with us? The vet provided all this without ever mentioning the possibility of euthanasia. But this time, I could tell she just wasn’t herself. I know some cats can keep going pretty well with this treatment, but Em just seemed very different and unhappy. After only about a week of this, I slunk into the vet’s office feeling like a total sh*t for having the “quality of life” discussion. And in the end, I had her put down that day going to fetch a kleenex even though she was not desperately ill. Okay, why am I telling you this long drawn out story? Because AFTER I did it, and the vet didn’t have to worry about influencing me against my true wishes, she said both choices are brave: she admires the owners who elect to treat without regard to trouble and expense, and she admires the owners who can make a tough decision to end before it’s inevitable. Sometimes they make the wrong choices (in her opinion) but most of the time, they’re doing what’s right for them and their pet
I know you made the decisions that were right for you and for Ardy. I’m sorry the outcome wasn’t better, but I know you’ll be at peace knowing you did what felt right in trying to give him a chance to pull through. And you’re doing the right thing for Teddy, too.
Don’t apologize for letting them outside. Yes, it’s riskier, but some cats cannot be confined. My Simon was like that–miserable and depressed if he couldn’t go out and be a cat. I’d rather he lived happy that way, even if it meant his life was at risk sometimes.
Oh, Athena… how awful. As I read the thread I realized I was actually holding my breath, waiting to see how Ardy made out. I’m so sorry that he didn’t make it, but I’m sure you know in your head you did the right thing. It’s just so hard to make your heart understand that, isn’t it?
I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to adopt leukemia positive kittens from the pound, because otherwise they’re put to sleep immediately. (It started accidentally; I had one cat that was leuk-positive, and couldn’t expose another cat to it, so I decided to adopt more leuk-positive cats.) Even though I knew when I took them in that they wouldn’t be with me long, it still hurt every bit as much when I had to make the decision to put them to sleep.
Luckily I had the most wonderful vet’s office in the world… not only did they take wonderful care of my kitties, they did so at very, very little cost to me. I was in college at the time and had absolutely no means to pay high vets bills. My cats got the best care due to the kindness of these people. The reception women cried with me every time I brought one in and had to put them to sleep, and I always got a sympathy card, thanking me for what I did.
I hope your other guy pulls through, Athena. I’ll be thinking of him, and your family.
I’m so sorry to hear about Ardy, Athena. I hope Teddy makes it through.
I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve had kitties who I realized after the fact I hung on to for too long, and I’ve had pets put to sleep and wondered if I didn’t do enough first. It’s human nature to second-guess ourselves.
Fifty percent sounds promising to me, too. I had a 13 year old cat who was very gravely ill with an rare illness a couple of years ago. The first two vets (one our vet’s assistant and one at the emergency clinic) we saw gave us the impression that his odds were good, but after the intensive (and expensive) treatment was begun, our vet and the senior emergency vet told us there was a 25% chance of survival with this infection and, considering our cat’s age, he probably wouldn’t make it. Since there was already a chest tube and IV in, we opted to continue treatment just in case. Our kitty will be 16 in March. You never can tell.
BTW, I hope you’re not still beating yourself up about not realizing your cats were sick sooner. Cats are famous for hiding illness, and by the time they show any signs at all, they’re often very, very sick.
I am writing this kinda choked up- so excuse the more than usual typos. Rajah, Sirdar & Dove send their best fuzzie wishes to you and Teddy. Ihope you do not mind but i asked St. Melangell (Celtic protectress of animals) to do what she can for Teddy, and to look out for Ardy. In a way- our pets are our best freinds- as they ask so little and give so much.
Reading that brought tears to my eyes. I hope Teddy makes it. Did you get to say good-bye to Ardy? I hope so.
{{{{Athena}}}}}
I’m SO SORRY for your loss. I won’t share any of my own stories of woe, but just know you’re not alone. Before I saw her quote, I was going to say something similar, but since Scotticher said it first…
Count us in, if we can help in some small way–can’t promise a lot, but no one should have to decide between a loved one and money.
I know what an awfully stressful time this is, but I thought I’d point out that since you made the above comment on a public forum (we sometimes forget since people are so friendly and kind here that it is public), you might want to think about changing them now for personal security.
Also, I thought this was a good time to remind people about pet insurance because like I said, we should never have to decide between not to save a loved one because of money. Our vets have long recommended the service, which doesn’t seem widely known or publicized, and while we haven’t signed up yet, we do plan to when we have a little more cash flow–especially since they’ll be getting into their teen years soon and may require more medical attention.
Athena – I’m holding really high hopes and sending best wishes for your other babies recovery. Take care.
{{{{{Athena}}}}}
Thank you all so much for your thoughts. They really do help. I slept OK last night (amazing what a couple glasses of wine will do) and actually slept in some this morning - something that I rarely do.
This is just so hard - all of you who have lost pets can relate, I’m sure. I keep forgetting Ardy is gone, and when I pass the little nooks where he used to curl up in I find myself looking for him. Plus, with Teddy in the hospital, the house seems strangely quiet. Usually when I get up and open the bedroom door (Mr. Athena is slightly allergic, but it can be kept under control as long as the cats don’t sleep with us) they’re both there, waiting for us to come out. Today, nothing…
One funny thing - I find myself really, really wanting another kitten. Now, I know a lot of people will say “Oh, don’t go out and get one so soon, give yourself time to grieve.” I completely intend to do that. But with the passing of my dog and my other cat, I had absolutely no desire for another pet. The idea was even repulsive. So I tend to go with it now, when something deep down is telling me to get another kitten. It’s been too long - since Ardy was a kitten - that I’ve had little babies around. Mr. Athena says we should get TWO. Note that up until Mr. Athena got to know Ardy, he was very very much anti-cat. Now he likes 'em, a lot, and is pretty sad about Ardy. I figure two kittens will make him hate cats again. You know how crazy kittens are! hehheheheheehe…
Thanks, Peta, but I thought about that already. The passwords will be changed, because it’s too painful to have to type them all the time. Regardless, note the “one form or another” phrase - none of my passwords are names that I’ve used for my kitties here, and you’d all have to be telepathic to figure out the forms that were used for passwords. Suffice to state that I have lots of little pet names for my kitties that only me and Mr. Athena know, and those are the ones that get used as passwords.
I’m so sorry! 
It’s such a sad thing.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Athena *
**when I pass the little nooks where he used to curl up in I find myself looking for him. **
That’s the worst. Every time I saw a backpack on the floor or something, I wanted to go and hug it, but then realized what it was.
I was the same way. I figured the reason I had a cat was that I liked having a cat around, and that’s the nice thing about pets. Unlike people, when you lose one, you don’t have to wait to give birth to another one, or meet one is some creepy singles bar, or go through the hassle of deciding if you like them enough to keep around! My brother shipped one of his cats (he had too many to handle (4)) a few days after we put Lela to sleep. I still miss her, but getting to know a new cat is a great distraction, and even though she’s not a replacement, it’s just so comforting to have that warm little fuzzy around the house. 
And FWIW, 50% sounds pretty good to me, too!