I am DM.
Are you a drug smuggler and published author?
You’re not Don Martin again are you?
OK, are you a Yankee Captain?
Hmm, don’t think I know this one, ask a DQ.
You’ll have to ask an IQ to find out. 
Don’t know who this is, ask a DQ.
Are you a politician who made love in a football shirt?
You sure you don’t want to ask about Don Martin? Okay, DQ for you, too.
The Yankee Captain was Don Mattingly.
DQ: Are you a fictional character?
IQ: Are you a Rat?
IQ: (Just to get it out of the way.) Are you a noted Mad magazine artist?
Did your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor ever turn you into a ferret?
No.
DM is
- Not fictional
Ummm…I do know some DM’s, I promise. Okay, another DQ.
I am not Drucker, Mort. (Or Don Martin.)
I gather it’s someone from the Harry Potter universe, but I don’t know. DQ.
Are you a Rat?
Dean Martin - from The Rat Pack.
DQ - Are you a female?
IQ - Did you platonicly share an apartment with your fictional soulmate?
<Turns to self.> Kick! Kick! Kick!
No.
DM is:
- Not fictional
- Male
Sigh. I’m sucking at this today. DQ.
I’ll throw you an easy one.
Were you and your double-edged light saber the only thing of interest in a much hyped 1999 prequel?
I am not Darth Maul.
Are you a former first lady of the United States?
I am not Dolly Madison.
IQ - Did you platonicly share an apartment with your fictional soulmate?
Debra Messing - of Will and Grace.
DQ - Are you currently alive?
IQ - Did the Fickle Finger of Fate reach out and touch you?
IQ: Were you kicked out of Metallica for being a drunk?
You can bet your bippy I’m not the late Dick Martin.
No.
DM is:
- Not fictional
- Male
- Deceased