As an offshoot of this thread. I am curious about the bowing ritual in Japan. Who bows first? Do men bow to women, or vice versa? Should non-Japanese bow? How low do you bow? Could I use the word “bow” some more?
From etiquette books I’ve read, the Japanese, for the most part, don’t expect Westerners to bow at all. It’s all quite complicated and ritualistic and they don’t expect someone from outside the country to figure it out.
I’ve been told by the Japanese that it’s better to not bow at all, rather than to bow incorrectly.
I don’t know, BobT…most Japanese I know would be pleased to see a foreigner TRY at least.
To answer the OP, the initial bow is done by both at the same time (or near enough to). After business cards are exchanged, you both work out who is the more senior person in rank, and that person doesn’t have to bow as low in the future. The lower ranked person will bow lower.
But I’m guessing that you won’t need to bother with all that palaver. Maybe a 30-45 degree bow will be sufficient. But you may find that when you bow, the Japanese will stick out their hands to shake yours, resulting in an amusing situation!
My rule of thumb is when in Rome…so if it is a group of Japanese people visiting YOUR country, go with YOUR customs. If you are visiting Japan, then do the bowing thing.
I was coming from a perspective of a tourist. If I were doing business, I would study up on bowing more.
Actually, I was going for the same thing. Shoulda been clearer.
And how women and bowing, then?
When bowing in cloe quarters beware hitting each other’s heads
AFAIK, the only difference between men and women when bowing is that women typically fold their hands in front, while men hold them at their sides. This is not a hard and fast rule, though.
Also, bowing is usually done simultaneously, occasionally leading to some awkwardness when the bowers on one side outnumber the bowers on the other.
I wouldn’t put too much stock in that. According to many Japanese, everything about Japan is quite complicated and ritualistic and they don’t expect someone from outside the country to figure it out. The same thing goes for using chopsticks and speaking Japanese. This can be to your favor since foreigners aren’t expected to understand it, you therefore have nothing to lose by just going ahead and bowing: they’ll be plesantly flattered by the effort (if it’s noticed at all), and they won’t come down on you if you screw it up.
It’s my experience that, as Tsubuki and Sublight point out, most Japanese are pleased with the effort. I confess that I often rely on the helpless gaijin thing to stumble through awkward moments (like when to bow at the end of a meeting).
Now, if I’d just remembered the correct card-exchange phrases at my meeting this afternoon (I fell back on “domo”). Sigh.