And you thought gangs of shoplifters in luxury stores were bad.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/stolen-box-human-heads-investigated-denver-police-83274565
What happens now with the missing box of human heads? Will it be held for ransom? Marketed on eBay? Or just sold to an unscrupulous collector?
Things to do in Denver when you’re dead.
A tangentially related story from a few years ago about heads in transit (in this case discovered in unclaimed baggage at O’Hare): Everyone here is like “Oh My Gosh, You Got a Box of Heads”. Contains links to further stories relating to heads discovered in carry-on baggage (spoiler: they need to be checked).
Maybe someone is making a short film version of “The Human Centipede”.
Or 8 Heads in A Duffel Bag.
“I don’t even see the code, I just see blonde head, brunette head, redhead.”
Dear customer,
We regret to inform you that your shipment of severed human heads has gone missing in transit.
Your shipment of severed human heads may still be delivered.
If you do not receive your shipment of severed human heads in five (5) days, you may request a refund of shipping costs.
You may contact Hed-Ex customer service at 1-800-HEADOFF.
I love the last sentence of the OP’s link. “Police ask anyone finding the box to contact them”. Like, in case anyone might be wondering who to notify in such a situation.
That’s no way to get ahead in life. See, Austin Powers
Maybe someone wanted to play head games.
How to Get Ahead in Business Without Really Trying ?
This is one of those threads where you’re looking at the list of new thread titles and saying to yourself “I probably really don’t WANT the whole story here, but I’ve got to check this out”.
Maybe somebody is decorating his desk.
Mollari expressed his concerns to Minister of Protocol Milo Virini, who explained that though the Centaurum had tried to oppose Cartagia, all of his opposition had since disappeared, with the rumor being that the emperor had hidden their heads in a secret room, where he spoke with them on a regular basis. Mollari later discovered this rumor to be true.
How many heads in a box? Necks too? Hair styled and groomed or just skulls but it would’ve been reported as skulls instead of heads which assumes meaty head’s with noses, ears and eyeballs intact.
Macabre and gruesome or just another day of work at the lab for numbskulls.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
–Rudyard Kipling, “If”
In other news, Denver Home Improvement stores report a sudden upswing in sales of spikes:
[“Those kids will stay off of my lawn … now”]
A couple of years back we went to a British ossuary (I don’t think it’s unique, but it’s close) not long after a theft of heads (sorta) had taken place.
There are collectors, it turns out. But fresh? Ewwww…
j
Trust me, you don’t want 'em stale.
This is some serious skullduggery.
Maybe it’s just me, but I find that use of the phrase “Trust me” somewhat disturbing.
j
