I own and listen to a lot of music. Almost all of my favorite bands I have seen live. Consider it a point of emphasis for me. There are three bands I love that I haven’t seen: Cake, Queens of the Stone Age, and Modest Mouse. I have tried, for years, to find a date I can see them but it’s been made difficult by the following three facts: A) I don’t “do” festivals, B) These bands don’t tour that often, and C) I live in the Midwest so screw me. Pisses me right off. I swear to god, just two days ago I was watching Later…with Jools Holland, and QotSA was on and I bitched and moaned about this very thing. “Three bands I want to see and I can’t because suck! Blah blah blah.” My dog was right there, he can tell you.
Today is my birthday. I am now forty-friggin’-two. Modest Mouse is in town, IN THIS VERY TOWN, tonight. Not tomorrow, this very day. Closest they’ve come recently was Minneapolis (a four hour drive), which I couldn’t make because my mom came to visit. Thanks a bunch mom, you filthy crotch. So! Back on point. Modest Mouse. Here in town. Playing six miles from my house. Six. I can walk that. When I first heard they were coming I went to scoop up tickets, but the show was already sold out. Sold the f out. This made me one out of five stars happy, or five out of five sad faces if you’re doing it that way. Would not recommend to a friend.
ANYWAY, this morning my wife and my boys (one and three) sang the song and gave me presents at breakfast. The three year old got me a monster truck card (sweet), which contained monster truck stickers (score!), which he “thought I could share those with” him, which of course I did because come on, monster trucks. The one year old mostly just smeared chocolate on/in his face/hair. I saw the appeal, but didn’t partake. Wife gave me some sappy card that I’ve completely forgotten, because in it was one Modest Mouse ticket. Apparently she had scoured Craigslist for weeks and finally got me one, as she tells it, “Standing outside a gas station in twenty degree weather.”
AND, AND! She expressly gave it to me first thing in the morning so I could mentally prepare, because we all know I can be a whiny bitch when it comes to changes of plan. So! Not only does she get massive bonus points for risking stab wounds at a shady gas station deal, she gets extra for accommodating my particular brand of crazy.
TLDR: I’m going to some dumb concert and my wife is a pro.
Now don’t leave me hanging! Brag about something so I don’t feel bad about laying this all out here. Or tell me about your best birthday present ever. Or explain the ways in which my storytelling could use some work. Thanks people.